Hair removal for girls - what age to start?

[charmkin]

And what method? My dd who is 10 and does a lot of ballet is asking if she can remove the hair on her arms and legs.

The hair is fair but there is a lot of it and it's quite long! Kids in the class have noticed it and commented. I'd let her do it at 11 or 12 I suppose, but is 10 to early?

lol at "I was a woman, having periods and a pair of breasts." Well now we know what a woman is.

What about an unhappy girl? She's 10, not 6, so not little, her peers have noticed and I expect not in an admiring way.

I think it's hard to persuade a 10 year old something is wrong when it's something one does oneself (ie hair removal in general).

I had periods and breasts at 11 - not sure I qualified as a woman though

A pal of mine removes her arm hair. She has dark hairs and hates them. It's up to her to do that - and if a 10 year old wants to do the same I think that's ok.

The thing about Veet/silky mits etc over shaving is that the hair won't grow back darker/thicker, I believe. So if charmkin's dd decides to stop defuzzing her arms at any point, then she's no worse off.

ok wow. Can of worms!!!!! Someone talk me through silky mitts - sounds good, googled it, can't imagine how it works and does it hurt?

I had periods and breasts at 10! I wasn't a woman either, but an unhappy girl who wished she could talk to her Mum.
I'm glad the OP's daughter can, and won't be fobbed off with nonsense of being a woman and lifetime commitments.

If she feels uncomfortable, you should let her. If you don't, she will experiment herself. I did.

Silky mitts you can get in Boots, and they're like sandpaper. You gently rub them on your leg in circular motions and the hair just falls off. you don't need to rub too hard and don't be put off by the 'sandpaper' thing!

you're left wth VERY smooth skin

I used Veet on my arms once. No problems with regrowth but just decided to stop doing it.

I shave my arms, takes no longer than doing my legs.

Honestly, let her do it, it's hardly disfiguring to remove the hair and if it makes her feel better what's the problem?

I went through puberty early too, and glad my mum didn't insist on me being a bit older before I could shave.

I'd definitely steer her away from shaving, but trying out another method, perhaps starting with her legs. I can't remember how old I was when I started shaving my legs, probably about 13 or 14, but I took a good few chunks out of them over the couple of years before I switched to waxing - from hurrying or using a blunt razor. It's not something I'd really trust a teenager to do well, never mind a ten year old.

Maybe suggest investigating the silkymit thing for the legs just to begin with, but plan to leave it over the summer holidays when she will presumably be away from school. She'll see what a hassle the maintenance is and might decide against the whole thing. She might also notice that the hair on her arms is (probably) finer than on the legs, and so not worth bothering with, especially if she is fair. At the moment she's probably a bit wound up about it all.

Also, do you have any adult friends or sisters with whom it might not be completely mortifying to say 'look, x doesn't shave or wax her arms - it looks fine'?

Haven't read all of the posts here, but my immediate response is 'when she wants to'.

My Dad was very controlling when I was growing up and told me I was never to shave my legs. It was a horrid situaion. I did really need to - they were quite hairy - and I wanted to, but I didn't really feel I could stand up to him, so I didn't brandish a razor until I was much older. It was really horrendous at school.

Just let her. What does it matter what age she is?

When I was younger (11) I tried removing arm hair with Immac, shaving and also bleaching them. As time went on I just got bored of doing it, and tended to wear long sleeved tops most of the year round.

Despite all this they did fade and thin out as I got older. I don't think trying hair removal leads to a lifetime of commitment.

I tried Silky Mitts, but they really irritated my skin and left me with an awful rash.

It is very hard when you get comments, a woman I was serving in a shop once said to me, 'Gosh, what hairy arms you have, is it hormones?!' I was so mortified, and felt really upset about it, even though I was in my late 20s.

I think if she is asking for your help, that in itself is a good thing - I was always too embarrassed to ask my mum.

If it's really bothering her then I'd say support her to do it.

For legs - whatever method suits, be it waxing, shaving etc.

For arms - shaving not good due to stubble, but waxing or epilating should be fine.

No method of hair removal makes it grow back 'thicker and darker' imo. If you shave, the stubble is more obvious. If you wax, you only get the regrowth that was due to come through on the 6 weekly cycle. But if you leave either for long enough you will end up with the same amount of hair as you had to start with. Believe me, I speak from a VAST amount of experience on this one.

My mum was useless talking about this too so I did it myself and am convinced it grew back hairier. Did arms and legs dry with ancient disposable razor and had terrible stubble and burn ! I'd say bleach for dark hairy arms but leave em if they're fair. 10 yr old are self conscious about everything and I'd encourage her to be herself until she's a bit older and more self confident.

when I said about shaving stubble being more obvious - that's not because MORE hair is growing, it's just because all the hairs that you would naturally have had at that stage are all the same LENGTH, ie v short and spiky

i'm blonde and have never removed arm hair but an asian friend of mine has something that must be like silky mits and she said that it was very common among women of her culture (pakistani i think).

i'm tempted to think about silky mitts for my legs which are not very hairy at all (blonde again).

It's not a matter of age - it's when they get conscious and unhappy about it. Thus could be 10 or 15 - there's no right answer.

And it's a myth that shaving makes it grow back thicker - it's just that it all grows back at the same time, so you don't have some long hair and some short hair. And the ends are blunt not tapered. So it feels bushier.

Your daughter must feel very secure to ask you about this and it's great you are so close. To say no will crush her- it probably took a lot of courage for her to raise it with you. I matured early and would have been too embarrassed to ask my Mum about this. I started shaving my legs secretly using my Dad's razor from age 10 (and listen to him scream as the blunt razor shredded his face the next morning) better to teach her the more civilised methods out there!

I cut my legs to ribbons shaving at about 11 so I think I'll take my dark haired DD for a wax around that age, the blonde ones hopefully never.
The silky mits make your skin very dry from what I remember, my nan bought me some after the blood bath.

Waxing or epilating. Ideally, waxing first, then maintain with epilating. Both arms and legs as I have very black long hair. I was 12 when I first took the razor out (mum was v. unhelpful, she never shaved anywhere, wish I had her confidence )

The razor was very bad, I cut myself quite badly on my legs and still have scars. An aunt took pity on me and took me to get waxed, and haven't looked back since.

If DD asks me at any point, I will take her to a salon to have the hair waxed and then pass on my epilator.

She may well decide the pain is not worth it. But its not worth her taking out a potentially dangerous razor and not knowing how to use it properly.

NADSdoes the trick - it's sugar, and doesn't hurt at all compared to waxing.
It was developed in Australia by a mum of dark haired and hairy daughters. NADS
Use a numbing cream if it's painful.

NADS is by far the best product I've used... and that's saying something.

I'd let her nads her own legs and arms whenever she wants to. If she's asked it's because she wants to.

It all depends, but it is recommended that wait as long as you can. If you start dealing with unwanted hair young, it will bother you for a very long time.
If you have any concerns about facial hair particularly, you can find some more information here.