DH called me a frump......

[threenoisyboys]

........ and although i got angry with him he might be right.
i bought some (i thought) stylish knee length shorts and he came out with the immortal line:
" you used to look so good when we met, when did you become such a frump?"

i'm 30 5 ft 6and a size 12 with good legs but no waist.
pre children i liked topshop but now 90 % of my stuff is from sainsburys. clothes that i used to wear before now make me look fat ( ive gained around 2 stone since having children. Meanwhile I now wear jeans and fleeces or knee length skirts.
what can i buy to make myself look more lovely and fashionable.... (or should i just tell him to f**k off and keep wearing my comfy stuff?)
ta
lucy

5'6" not 6'

... and he might also need to look after the kids while you pop off and get your hair cut.

May I also suggest Zara - great for frocks, skirts and tops, though invariably you need to take the trousers up unless you are a giant.

Also, I am older than you (a bit) and still wear clothes from Topshop, Oasis and Warehouse all the time. There's loads of longer line tops around at the moment if you are self-conscious about your waist, so that won't be a problem.

If my DH said that to me, I'd be down the shops with his credit card this weekend. Burn the fleeces, though .

threenoisyboys - your DH was tactless but all men have been there for better or worse.

A few years ago both me and DW felt pretty frumpy. Probably same as you. Put on some weight post DSs and a river of baby sick, poo, wee and snot we had fallen into the 'fleece' mode of thinking about clothes.

Anyway, we both talked to each other about the kind of clothes we liked to see each other in and went shopping both together and apart.

TBH my impression was DW had lost confidence in herself but after a lot of gentle persuading and a lot of "I haven't got the legs" and "I am not in my 20s anymore" she went out and bought some semi smart / casual dresses, skirts and tops at places like Hobbs and a few more expensive places. I went with her and told her what I liked and if she liked it too she bought it. She looks great and I told her so.

I did the same with my clothes in return and we both felt a lot happier with the way we look. We threw away every piece of our old clothing in celebration.

Maybe rather than going alone with DHs credit card you should take him and ask what he likes on condition you like it too. Also say you will buy clothes only on condition he does.

hmm fleeces are universally bad
bootcut jeans are ageing

skinny jeans (flame me now) or even straight leg would help

rolled up slimish chino trousers are having a bit of a moment

dresses are always pulled together

pay attention to footwear, wear a funky dress and then clumpy orthopaedic shoes and you will be a total frump. Slight heels are good but even just flipflops in the summer or flat gladiator style sandals are quite young

30 IS VERY YOUNG and you sound like you have the perfect figure

If it's any consolation I was quite happy with a dress the other day and DP said 'you look mumsy' ...

BeenBeta could have a point, maybe make it a joint expedition but only if he does the same. I for example can't stand some of the things DP wears so I tell him so (white trainers?blue jeans and matching fleece???) and I throw things at him to wear that look so much nicer. Is there anything that grates about your DH?

If you'd like tips though, have a look in zara and oasis and even H&M, sometimes warehouse, whistles.. I'm currently liking anthropologie. Sainsbury's is pretty frumpy (sorry!) but I have bought tops in there on a whim and then have given them to charity totally unworn because I couldn't bring myself to actually wear them (20s) so I think if you are always donned in sainsburys attire, you will look a bit frumpy. You could add a few accessories to your current stuff, like some great new shoes or tops or necklaces if you use your current wardrobe as a blank canvas to build on.

good legs means get yourself into the leggings and gorgeous empire line smock dress over them.A few nice summery bracelets, or beads and a very nice bag.Sorted.However make him pay for your retail therapy for his punishment

Agree with everyone - you are young, tall and slim. Your DH was perhaps tactlessly trying to tell you that you're not making the most of yourself.

Personally for serious shopping I like to go alone - it requires a lot of concentration you know .

I'd start by getting a good pair of jeans - as vin said - skinny or straight leg. Topshop are good or J Brand if your budget is more generous.

Take a good look on Netaporter not to buy from there but to get some inspiration of whats current and how to style stuff. Grazia and Look are good magazines for accesible fashion.

As Romana said - dresses are good - easy and chic.

I like the following shops - New Look (rolled up chinos), H&M, Warehouse, Dorothy Perkins (fab maxis), Jigsaw and Whistles.

To disguise tummy - draping is your friend - be careful of empire lines as they can easily make you look pregnant when you're not.

If you're scared of being steamrollered by personal shoppers, why don't you go shopping with a good friend whose style you admire? Someone who you trust to be honest with you about what suits you? Maybe you could make an appointment with a personal shopper and take a mate along who will make sure you don't go crazy and buy a whole world of hotpants, playsuits, 10cm heels and boob tubes just because the personal shopper tells you to

I know you said you feel too old for topshop but im 32 and I get loads of stuff from there and asos, at topshop you can book a personal shopper who can show you lots if different looks to suit you (dont be put off by all the size 8 17 year olds) Good luck

Oh honey! Thirty is youngyoungyoungyoungYOUNG!!

Every time you go through a major personal transition it's all too easy to lose your style in the shuffle. Nothing to blame yourself for. No doubt it took you a while to get off track and it's going to take a bit to get back on track as well, because you also have to take the time to do some thinking about what works for your life now, not just try to impose a new look on yourself willy-nilly in a couple of shopping trips.

Everything traceybath said is great advice. Would also second the poster who said rip pages out of magazines -- and do this with hairstyles as well because a great hairstyle is 25% of the battle right there.

Two style blogs I have found helpful:

WhoWhatWear
Frugal Fashionista

have a look at the white company for some lovely classic clothes 20% off too with TEL20 and free delivery

I am a smidge taller than you, same dress size (but without the good legs ) and 10 years older, so please don't feel frumpy!

BTW was having a wardrobe cleanout and brooding and I have to disagree with vin that bootcut jeans are ageing. A gentle bootcut is quite classic and I suspect they (and seventies flares ) are on their way to another moment. Almost hate to say it as I am invested heavily in skinnies . . . .

thanks everyone for your kind words.
i'm not sure a joint shopping trip is a good idea.... he tends to get bored with shopping and i think i'm going to need to try lots on to get an idea of what suits me now.

i have got into a major rut... and i have been a bit inspired by some of the links ppl have put up... i love the dress from wrap but may be a bit too pricey (unfortunately i am main earner so even if i put it on his credit card i'm still the one paying for it!), but i may get it to try on... if i love it guess i will get lots of wear out of it this summer.

i've already ordered some stuff off the uniqlo website as well.... including some colour!!as i really liked that website.
and yes, vin, my shoes are a big problem. i tend to go for comfy. maybe some heels are in order. however i am reluctant to get rid of bootcut jeans....they balance out my wide waist.....skinny jeans seem to emphasise my chubby waist.

thanks again