Help - what the hell is 'evening dress' exactly?

[Substandard]

Hope you sophisticated ladies can help me. Have been invited to a 'Mayor's reception' because of dp's job. Dress code is evening dress.

Please stop me making an arse of myself and tell me what sort of things are appropriate to wear.

Am about 5'8", enormous boobs, have failed spectacularly to lose any baby weight (baby now two so that excuse wearing very thin) so am a 16 threatening to go up a size. Very lumpy with huge rolls around my stomach area.

Totally lost my confidence and really don't know to dress the new me, plus there isn't often a dress code for playing monsters in the garden.

Would love to wow dp if at all poss, so HELP!!!! (please)

You need a posh dress of the cocktail frock variety.

I wouldn't go for a long ball gowny thing as most people might be in shorter, and that is fine anywhere IYSWIM.

I have big boobs too so I know ehere you're coming from (prob best to avoid strapless!).

Something like this is nice (I know I said short but I think it's gorge) or maybe I like this too

Yes - LBD or equivalent

sucky in under garments and this

oops

Thank you Clary. Am a bit nervous about wearing a halterneck (my boobs seem to look incredibly fat in them, IYKWIM) but it is beautiful and the other one is very nice too.

I think I need some help what constitutes a cocktail frock too, to aid in my search. Am clearly a pleb. Would feel a bit more confident with some rules, eg this.... is correct level of formality, this .... however is NOT and you will spend the whole night with everyone muttering about you (and not in that good way!)

Keep 'em coming - save a poor Substandard socialite

Thanks Vanity and ggirl. Any advice on best underwear?

I find Bravissimo a bit hit and miss on the clothing front, sometimes the quality can be a bit rubbish. Bras always good though. Will have to get a shop and try it on - looks nice.

If I wear a long dress is there anyway to not look too overdone? Have got hideous broken veins all over my shins, ankles and feet and while I didn't let them bother me before, now I am not confident about the rest of me I don't want to add to the unattractiveness!

How about this

Could this work for you? Will search out some more. Do you have a budget?

Cocktail dresses are shorter knee and above, like shift dresses I think, like the one above.

I'd go for something dark with some kind of luxurious fabric to make it look a bit posher rather than worky - eg lace/satiny bits, sequins or summat.

Would a wrap dress suit your figure? I think that would be fine if it's one you could posh up with jewellery.

Lovely, Scurry. Not sure I can brave a strapless bra - it would actually have to defy gravity to contain me and my 34HHs.

Would cause a bit of stir during the canapes if the feeble bra gave up the ghost and my boobs just fell out of the bottom of my dress.

I just tuck mine under my armpits .
Maybe you shouldn't conform to what's expected -go as a pirate!

Draping is very flattering You could dress up with metallic heels and clutch and dramatic cuff bracelet.

Lady in Red

Possibly worth booking a personal shopping session in John Lewis and trying on loads of stuff.

Lace dress lovely - and surprising elegant. Always fear lace on big boobs can look a bit trampy but I like that one.

Would like to be under £100, if possible Dirtgirl. And wrap dresses REALLY don't suit me. Am always confused as they are the staple suggestion for those of bountiful boobs but on me they just spread them out making them look even bigger and the material always clings to all the lumps. Am v jealous of anyone they do suit.

Oh and make sure you get hair done and a spray tan if thats your thing (it is mine for special events) and nails/eyebrows done if funds/time permit too.

YY I agree re halterneck, but sometimes they are flattering.

You need to try on of course.

Agree with ggirl re hold in knickers etc.

Cocktail frock - I always think of something slim and shift-y in shiny satin - but that's not best for your figure (as described!)perhaps.

If you want to hide yr legs, how abotu something that falls to mid-calf - then not too ballgowny.

I love the red one traceybath linked too, very flattering.

After claiming I can't possibly wear a wrap dress that red one is luring me in. Don't let me consider it - have just had to ebay a whole bunch of wrap dress that made me look hideous in retrospect.

Right ladies, I am putting ds in the bath and will cogitate. You are all very lovely for helping. I know I am a tragic case. I will return later (after I have checked whether an eyepatch really does suit me, Scurry )

That red dress that Tracey linked to is divine.
I am 5ft 9" and size 14 (big boobs as well), I'd wear that dress, in fact I may see if DH wants to spend some of his bonus on it for my Brother's wedding.
I'd have worn it when I was a size 16 too, honestly, it's a knockout dress.

Oooh it is lovely isn't it Lizzy.

I do love a red dress and it looks like it would be very flattering too.

It is, I love red, so does DH.
It is glam and sexy and looks very flattering.

Well done, Tracey!

Op, get some good spanx and some heels on, you will look great in that.

I found these sorts of events are usually less formal than expected. I think the key is looking like you've made an effort but definitely don't go exposing any cleavage or go too short; some of the attendees will be very conservative and you don't want to be the one everyone is nudging about!

I agree that a cocktail address will be required and echo the suggestion about the John Lewis personal shopper. But I really wouldn't go OTT, make sure you are comfortable. If you wear a dress that is quite exposed, make sure you have a shrug or similar in case you feel a bit naked amongst the matronly dresses! I've been to loads of these in under-heated council chambers so think about that, too.

I think, if it says evening dress and it is a mayors reception you will got a wide range of styles iyswim. Especially as there will probably be a lot of older people there.

How about something like [http://www.longtallsally.com/dresses/maxi-dresses/newby-dress/smoke-grey?category=f-013_dresses# this]]

If it is too low you could get a fitted vest in a complementary colour and a fitted cardigan, shrug to go over the top. They also have a couple of others that may be suitable.

I wouldn't worry too much about what is right in the minds of others, as long as you are look good then it doesn't matter. As my Dh says when i often worry about being too dressy, what is wrong with looking gorgeous? (not sure how accurate his eye sight is though )

Will try again

here

Sorry, am multi tasking and didn't preview!

OK have looked in Next, M&S, Monsoon, nothing I like (Monsoon's all looked like nighties )

Karen Millen all a bit £££

this is nice in wallis - yy is like Pretty Woman one tho not very eveningy

Hobbs nice but also pricey and not maybe suitable for yr figure.

I think you need to look for something not too straight, ie with a bit of drape/frill/frou frou in skirt; and make sure you can wear a bra underneath if not confident of strapless one!

this is nice from Coast for example?

As you can see I am not a big fan of black!!

magicpants

and dress

And both still within budget

clary - i love that wallis dress.

Wallis have some fantastic dresses at the moment, got an email this morning and I could have bought loads!

Get yourself a good body shaper and a lovely dress, some high heels and make sure above everything else you are comfortable in what you have on, so try it on, walk around in it, sit down etc.

I have body shaper undies in nude and black and they make me look good in a dress.

Thank you everyone - will have a look over all your suggestions while I eat my tea.

Dp has just returned with the same 'what the hell is evening dress?' question. Any help for him? And he will need VERY specific instructions.