Visiting DH's family in the Spring...they are elegant, mostly thin and well off...I'm not...but how to look as if I am?!!

[PussinJimmyChoos]

Help!

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just be yourself....and the best version of whatever that is....

Are they nice?

Just find some clothes that make you feel great - you will not look thin if you are not but can definitely feign well off - asos is fab as are local boutiques that resell designer stuff at a much cheaper price... and get a good haircut! Good luck Jimmy!

PS If you actually have jimmy choos just wear all black possibly with an arrow motif pointing to said choos - nuff said!

Yes they are but I always feel frumpy when I go there...being a bit chubby doesn't help though!

I would like to wear Jimmy Choos trust me! But feet are wrecked post DS

Can you afford to go to somewhere like John Lewis where they have 'professional shoppers' who can guide you to what clothes suit you best? Friend did it post baby as she had a celebration to go to, and then wore the separates the whole time as they looked so good. You might be able to get a small capsule wardrobe for a w/e?

I am a great believer in feeling good about yourself. Don't beat yourself up about what you're not - concentrate on what you CAN change and emphasise your good points. A fabulous haircut may boost your confidence, as will a healthy complexion (facial, makeup anyone??).

Clothes? Something you feel good in.

Oh and a great handbag is a life saver! And don't get me started on accessories ....

I love handbags!! Haven't found a good one yet though...currently have a Storksak Elizabeth mummy bag but confess to wanting a bag that is recognisable as designer or similar...

Complexion is crap though...not sure what I'm doing wrong! Had an Aveda facial and she said my skin was dehydrated so switched from oily skin potions to more hydrating ones but still quite red and patchy...

Am really selling myself here aren't I :-)

Re handbags, try TKMAxx ... i hate the place (or is it the snob in me that hates the place?) but it's surprising what you can find there. I got a nude (very now, apparently), buttery soft leather Osprey bag there last week for £60 - that'll see me through the next 3 seasons!

Re complexion - drink loads of water, 2 litres a day if you can manage it. Your skin will love it. And so will your purse.

some rules.

wear all one colour with smart jewellery.

NEVER more than three colours

NEVER wear a pattern

wear v-neck sweaters, t shirts and strappy tops (they make your neck look long i.e. you look slimmer and more elegant)

A tailored jacket will make practically anything look chic. (make sure what you wear underneath is all one colour)

black jeans and sweater or long sleeved t shirt (v neck or low neck see above!) with a jacket, long cardi or waistcoat will look effortless.

wear at least one tight(close-fitting) item but never more. - Never wear everything tight or everything shapeless.

Designer handbags are worthless, (unless in-laws are so airheaded that they will judge you by handbag in which case definately flash one about)

Will try to think of some more.

don't change to be like them. be yourself

I am myself, but I would just like to not have to stress about what to wear every day...mind you, easiest thing would be to get off my arse and get back to pre DS weight but....

Ah ... now we're veering into different territory. Do you stress about what to wear every day because you haven't managed to shift the pregnancy pounds? Which affects your confidence because you want to look like you did before??

Sounds strangely familiar .....

I don't know how old you are (or your DS) but I do know this, from bitter experience:

If you're unhappy with your weight, do something about it. Not because you want to please THEM but do it for YOU to make YOU feel good. And don't wait years .... do it now!

If, on the other hand, you feel OK about how you look, then have the confidence to be yourself, and sod them.

Simples

Lairy - are you me?!! Yes to all the weight issues! Was 10st pre DS and curvy but put on 4st in preg..now 12st 5lb and feels like a mountain of weight to lose - certainly won't do it before end of April when the trip is scheduled, hence wanting to look glam and expensive ha ha!!

And DS is nearly Four...

Focus on grooming.

Get your hair done, eyebrows, always wear lip gloss, a bit of jewellery, careful accessories, that kind of thing.

Totally agree with MaryMoC re grooming.

And yes,sister , you WILL shift the 2 1/2 stone. Some helpful (hopefully non patronising) pointers:
First off, you need to be determined to lose it and set yourself a start date. Then, you need a plan consisting of 2 elements: food/diet guidelines and exercise. Next you need support - could be WeightWatchers, could be a personal trainer, could be a bunch of friends, you get the idea. Someone to motivate you when you can't be arsed to go for that jog/feel like reaching for the Hobnobs. Then set yourself small, manageable targets.
I know it feels like a big mountain to climb but take it one step at a time. And the more sophisticated weight loss systems start off with a big loss in the first couple of weeks, which is v v motivating indeed!

One word- Spanx.

You sound lovely to me PussinJimmyChoos

Don't shroud yourself in dark colours - have one bold colour that suits you in every outfit as a confidence booster - stand proud!
Agree about chic haircut
Make sure your toe and finger nails look lovely
Tasteful shoes and bag
And if possible, buy just a few nice coordinating necklaces to go with a couple of outfits - makes all the difference

Some nice jewellery in East - not expensive

And if YOU want to, for yourself only and no-one else, you can start to lose a little weight between now and end April. That's six weeks isn't it? Aim for just a 1lb or 1lb and a half a week. 30 min brisk walk per day. Don't tell anyone you are doing it - then you have the secret satisfaction of knowing that "you are on your way to your goal" iyswim which will make you feel better about yourself.

Really sympathise as my in-laws are extremely stylish and make me feel very bleurrggh in comparison

Good luck

oh, and forgot to add, don't buy anything 100% linen

I'd recommend a personal shopping session or failing that go and try loads of stuff on with a good and honest friend.

I'm not a great one for rules per se as think some patterns for example can look very chic. But then I also like nice/designer handbags and sunglasses.

I'd definitely up the grooming, get a haircut, eyebrows shaped etc.

What shape/size are you and we could find some links for you . . .

Try to remember that grooming/elegance/nice clothes are all very well, but that it's being a nice, caring, comassionate person is what counts!

My MIL is a ex-model . She is about 5'10 and more glam than me. When DD was little she saw how much make-up MIL was wearing and asked me about it. I said that it's fine to look nice but it's what kind of person you are underneath that counts. MIL overheard me

oops - compassionate

if the prospect of dieting and fitting in an exercise regime feels like too much of a mountain to climb, I can heartily recommend four simple steps:

1. Eat what you normally eat (minus any obvious junk) but smaller portions. You will need to snack between meals but make sure it is fruit/veg or nuts.

1. Don't eat carbs after 5pm. If you usually have your main meal in the evening, you can have as much extra veg/salad as you desire together with a sensible-sized protein option.

1. Don't waste money on a gym or exercise dvds. If you haven't done it so far, you won't be inspired just cos you spent some money on it! Instead, walk as much as you can every day. As you walk, pull your abs/core in (without holding your breath ) and walk tall. This will improve not just your posture but properly engage your muscles and make them work harder.

1. Drink plenty of water and switch to herbal/fruit teas rather than regular tea and coffee.

I know this system works because I had 7 stones to lose (yes, 7 ) after having DS1 and this was the way I did it. I lost weight at a steady rate of 2-3lbs a week initially, which slowed down the nearer I got to my goal weight. I rarely stray within a couple of pounds of my regular weight these days and I pretty much follow these rules still (except the no carbs after 5pm).

I'm 5ft 2" and 12st...but am hour glass with it

The destination is the Middle East and as a Muslim, although I don't always wear hejab here, I do over there as its sooo much easier when everyone is wearing it - I don't feel like I stand out

The thing is, when I wear hejab, my head looks really small compared to the rest of me....you don't realise how much hair balances out curvy hips