Are there any hairdressers around?

[wornoutworrier]

I have a problem with dd's hair and could do with a professional opinion.

I've gotten a bit of grief about it in RL life so would rather not get more here about it just some advice on what to do.

DD is nearly 4. Since she was very small she has a phobia about her head/hair. She cannot stand having her hair washed, brushed or even touched.

I have always only managed to brush her hair with a soft brush and it is now matted and forming dreds at the back.

She has improved a lot and we have been playing hairdressers and talking about it so I think she might be able to cope with the hairdresser now. The last time I took her she was so upset that the hairdresser wouldn't cut her hair.

Anyway, my question is if you had to cut hair in this condition what would you do?

Chop out the bad bits and try to make it as even as possible or would she need it cut very short?

I just need to know what to expect.

Thanks in advance.

DD1 has very thick curly hair and doesnt particularly like having it brushed. I make sure it is washed and conditioned (about twice a week) then comb it through when it is damp with a leave in conditioner using one of these.

As her hair has a tendency to tat I just cut the offending bits out when I am combing it through.

She used to hate having it tied up but we now have a routine where we play "hair salon" and she still cries a bit is much better.

If the phobia is really bad then you may have to take her to the GP as you cant really carry on with no head contact.

Message withdrawn

Thanks for the very kind replies.

I was worried about posting this because it is in a bad state and I feel very guilty about having let in get this bad.

We are beyond the leave-in conditioner for the moment as we need to sort out the mess at the back.

I used to use it but it didn't help because I couldn't brush it through hard enough.

I furtively put coconut oil in her hair to help and the front and sides are ok and not tangled, just need a trim but the back is a real state.

I really need to know is there anyway to sort it without cutting her hair really short.

She is the same age as DD1 BTW!

Is it quite long and straight? Could you have it cut into a short bob? She could still have girly clips in the front?

I feel your pain as I see little girls with lovely straight glossy hair tied up in cute bobbles and it looks so effortless.

Everyone comments on DD1's curls which puts me under more pressure to ensure it looks not like a birds nest lovely!

Like everything when they are this age you just have to perservere through the tears until it becomes routine.

Definitely going to order a Tangler Teezer.

I have told her it is time for a big girl hair brush and she loves pink so it just might work.

My sister is a pre-school teacher and said if she saw hair like dds on a pupil she would wonder about neglect and to hear that as she is the most loved and protected child you could imagine.

Sisters even though you love them they really know the things to say to get you going nicely. My daughters hair (and my own) is the same lots of fine, wavy hair that tangles and dreads easily. I got a mason and pearson hairbrush and one of the mums at school was a hairdresser. Hairdressing mum and her son (same class as my daughter) and her other kids would come round I would chuck loads of sweets at them all and it would get done and not be too stressful. I have also used the sweets and speed got my daughters hair cut in the school yard after school.I used to use loads of leave in conditioner spray but I think it builds up and seems to go sticky-I have stopped using it and just use coconut oil which seems better. Good luck xxx

My niece's hair went a bit like this when she came to stay with us.

I washed it and then poured half a bottle of conditioner on and left it to dry.

While she was watching telly I pulled through some of the dreads with a comb (obviously holding it at the top so she couldn't feel anything!).

You may be past this phase and it was v. fiddly but it worked.

DS2 has very fine hair, and likes it in a bob, so it can be hellish to keep looking good. At one stage he had big matted dreadlocks at the back of his head! I washed his hair and I put loads of conditioner in then left it for 20 minutes while he played in the bath. Rinsed it out, then sat him in front of a dvd, while I painstakingly sprayed on leave in conditioner and brushed through the tangles. I remember being able to get out about 80% of the dreadlock and then snipping out the rest with a nail scissors which I had hidden in my pocket, he didn't even notice.

We use a Tangle Teezer which is great.

Lots of distraction/bribery is the key I think. Good luck

Thanks for all the great ideas!

And no harsh words at all.

We have a further problem in that dd has eczema and is very senstive to most products. I use a spray on conditioner on the ends where it doesn't touch her skin but am reluctant to use a wash out conditioner as it may cause her skin to flare up.

Anyone recommend a gentle, kid friendly conditioner?

Loreal do kids spray-in conditioner which is nice and gentle, not sure if hypoallergenic enough for your LO though. I used to get terrible tangles in my hair and used to brush them out when my hair was wet, with conditioner in or said kids leave-in conditioner sprayed on. Get a tangle teezer brush, don't cut the tangles out.

I use MOP detangler which is organic and smells lovely, but it's discontinued, but I just found it on ebay, buy 1 get 1 free! It smell of pears and is very gentle.

Another vote for the tangle tamer brush. I find it helps to have cbeebies on, then start at the edge of the matted area. Rather than going straight at it with the brush, which won't work if it's really matted, you need to take a small section, and very gently pull it apart width ways without pulling at the root.

This is time consuming, but shouldn't hurt. It will be very frizzy afterwards, so might be a good time to wash/condition it. Then put it straight into plaits, so it doesn't get knotty again.

We have serious bird's nest issues in our house too!

Try some of the green people conditioners?

I have bad eczema but usually the conditioners are not the worst for scent/nasties.