Lilaloves, you raise lots of good points. It sounds like you had good role models in your parents, and therefore didn't grow up restricted, but many children think in rigid ways about gender.
The clothing thing is minor compared to the rest of it. But I do think that princesses and fairies are poor role models, to say the least! I don't want frills and flowers on everything my daughter wears because I think that sends the wrong message.
What you said about letting your boys do what they want is great (because some people I know would stop a boy from playing with prams etc, worrying he will turn out "gay" or some nonsense), but at the same time, I'm sure they didn't get given dolls and princess and fairy stuff equally with the cars and trucks (or did they?).
Children are very clever gender detectives - they work out who they are from seeing who they resemble, and they want to fit in, so they do what's necessary and they begin to like the right things, to get on in life. I fully expect that my daughter will love pink by the time she's 3 and at pre-school, and as long as she gets the message at home that pink isn't the only choice, that's ok with me. And again, pink is just the scapegoat for all the problems. I have more problems with the Disney princess thing and all the girlie toys than I do with the colour pink (unless it's baby pink - yeuuughh!)