I have lost my way in casual dressing <wails>

[NorkilyChallenged]

I have been --obsessively== lurking at S&B for ages now, reading and learning. I really enjoy it.

I have got the hang of my work wardrobe (it's not huge, I only work 2.5 days a week) and feel quite confident buying things for work or putting outfits together.

I thought I was making progress with what to wear when not at work, but now I'm floundering, all lost again. Suddenly I have nothing to wear. How did that happen?

Think I'm stuck halfway between old and the new*. What can I do?

• Old = wearing maternity trousers til youngest child was 18 months for reasons of "comfort" , and large baggy tops from Tesco. And cheap knitwear that makes the hair on my arms stand on end. Pre-baby days was lots and lots of ankle length skirts. Which I learn from S&B are a total no-no

** New - I got some leggings and planned to work the whole tunic/dress + leggings thing. I bought Fly Mols and everything But the tunics feel too short so I wear with jeans, none of my leggings are comfy or long enough. I have slim leg jeans but suddenly they are not comfy either.

Gah I'm just putting weight on aren't I?

I have nothing to weeaaaaarrrr

AND I can't manage to to strikethrough successfully

you are just shit entya?

i feel shit atm - am sick of being cold and swaddled

Well I've just about got back to normal pre-dc weight and have spent past week doing a big wardrobe cull.

So tried on stuff and worked out what shapes/colours suit me and what just needs to go. No point wearing clothes that don't suit you.

For me I need slim fitting stuff and colour so am purging all black from my wardrobe.

Do you think you have put on weight or just need new jeans? What size etc are you?

Yes.

Think you hit the nail on the head there.

Is it your bum you are worried about exposing with the leggings tunic combo? No-one can see your bum, unless you really bend over!
Tunics and skinny jeans are good.
buy some better quality leggings, american apparel ones are good, and I think you can get longer length ones from ASOS.

Here are my slimming tips for dressing:
Buy some control pants to flatten your tum and smooth your thighs. M and S ones are good.

Wear skinny jeans, long sleeved plain top, and then a long length grey b/f cardi. The cardi will create a column of length where it is open that is very flattering. Add a long pendant or string of beads

Oh sorry Traceybath, x-post there.

I am currently size 10 bordering on 12 (bigger on hips/tummy than elsewhere). I lost lots of weight due to ill health after having dd2 so this time last year was a size 8. Am probably currently about a more normal weight for me.

Have just realised am pre-menstrual which might explain general loss of mojo and feeling of fatness.

I have always hated jeans though. Never wore them pre-dc. Then bought some as I felt I should after dc and also because only managed to make it to Tesco so had to buy all clothes there.

Would secretly like it to be socially acceptable (nay, stylish) to wear maternity trousers like this all the time as they are so comfy. I think 2 pregnancies back-to-back may have affected my judgement there though.

Well how about some of brad's faves - some jeggings?

Sort of a comfy version of jeans?

Keeerist!! They are awful!!

Thatsnotmymonkey - the tunics I have probably would expose my bum when I am chasing my dc at soft play. I don't know, my legs are okay but not in any way toned and the thighs have a definite splat quality.

I agree I probably need to invest in decent leggings for a start.

Traceybath - I have the famous Next jeggings (as modelled by Brad) I find them uncomfortable, both round the tummy (though they weren't when I bought them so think that is due to weight gain) and on the legs (cut off blood supply to lower legs when I sit down or kneel in them.

I already had to size up to 12 when I bought them 6 months ago. Would be most depressed to have to go back and get size 14 already but maybe that's just realistic

ha! i love my mamas and papas wide legged maternity trousers - thought i looked so stylish. i look back now and realise that i was wrong, wrong, wrong.
next have some luverly black jeggings - i had been resisting skinny jeans as thought they are unflattering, but these are wonderful and i am a size 14, and 5'4, so really shouldn't be wearing them
also dresses and thick tights might be an easier option if you're not keen on leggings and more flattering than jeans under a smock.

How about dresses? Now you've got a lovely work one haven't you? Or have I got you confused?

What about some casual dresses? No law says you need to wear jeans at soft play etc

cut out salt. maybe you are bloated?

Staines - I know. I can't bear to part with my mat trousers so I wear them in bed now

I do have a lovely work dress Traceybath, that is me

I am interested in dresses but not sure how practical they are with toddlers, even though others say they manage it. I feel one of my dc would end up trying to hide under it or something.

I tried looking at casual dresses this afternoon but just couldn't figure out what I wanted. I think jersey is a bit too clingy on my tummy so for work I go for something more structured and in fabrics that don't cling. I couldn't see anything I liked.

Basically I need to cut out salt, chocolate and feeling ridiculously sorry for myself

Thank you all for being kind. I will hopefully wake up in a better mood tomorrow but will gratefully receive any suggestions.

ooh, and this is my latest dress

i am not pregnant! but this dress works well as an actual dress and is very flattering, doesn't need ironing and you can wear with long sleeved top / long cardi and it looks ace.

i'm telling you, norks, dresses are the future. as are tights.

Hi Norkily - what about empire line dresses? The skim over the stomach (just been watching MNTV) like some of these from Esprit (won't let me go to individual ones at the moment, but there's plenty of Empire line onces available)

ha, staines, this is my latest dress, and I'm not breastfeeding! I just liked the neckline and the fact that it doesn't cling round the tummy. Empire lines rule.

(in black, not the print)

I too have recently started wearing dreses ....cos chucked on with opaque tights and patent pumps you can look v smart for minimal effort.

*note to self tho......if you are wearing a loose waisted skirt be careful when you crouch down to fasten small childs shoe that when you stand up you arent stood on hem of skirt thats loose waist is now at your knees - in v busy town centre .

nick!

it could have been worse though.......couldnt it? it could tho .....ermmm not sure how .

oh, i can think of lots of ways that it could have been worse, but they're all a bit of a stretch of the imagination....
however, i once had an 'accident' on the way to work - violent diaorrhea (sp?)that took me completely by surprise. there were no toilets on the way to work, and i was more than halfway there in very heavy traffic. luckily, i was wearing very thick tights. once i had ditched the car and was hunting for a public loo i ran into an old work colleague and had to stop and chat (very briefly) whilst holding my coat tightly around myself to prevent any possibly odours drifting out.

how's that?

possible

I think thats worse tbh .

norkily - i think you are wearing the wrong things for your shape ( not your size). you are slim if you are 10 top half and 12 bottom, so you are obviously not dressing in the right clothes if you feel fat

can you tell us what shape you are? Does your name mean you have `small boobs? you don't like your bum and tummy but your legs are ok, is that right? what about your waist? do you have good arms and shoulders?

do you think you are an apple? smallish norks, biggish tummy, flat bum, ok legs, good ankles

according to trinny and susannah, jeans ae no good for apples, you need tailored wide legged trousers in denim. i am wondering if thsi is why you feel so good in your mat trousers

also apples often suffer from fluid retention, apparently

stainesmassif - your name makes that situation even funnier