explain to me about 'grooming'

[bodsmum]

I am so not one of those mums who always looks beautifully dressed without a hair out of placebut after reading(v closely!)the recent thread on looking haggard,it's dawned on me that actually in my 40s i should be spending a bit more time on personal presentation rather than less as it's getting harder to smooth over those cracks(literally!)I used to think it was nice not to look perfect 24/7 and then feel special for a night out etc but now that the nights out are 3 times a year rather than 3 times a week i wonder if i am 'letting myself go'...so i'm asking how you eternally fragrant ladies fit in a 'grooming routine' and what it entails exactly..i'm too embarrassed to admit to how sparse mine is[vague mutterings about how i haven't seen my hairbrush for a few years]i'd like to excuse my scruffiness by saying i have a toddler and am heavily pregnant but plenty of the mum-of-3s at my DDs preschool manage to look stunning every morning..the occasional time i've got my act together everyone has asked me if i'm working that day(i'm actually a SAHM)as it's so unusual..i guess i'm looking to kickstart increased efforts for NY though probably a bit insane as baby almost due..just can't face another 2 years of feeling dowdy.
Also do you have a beauty product 'secret'?and a go-to-outfit that looks good but not overdressed for soft play centres/parks etc?

Firstly hair is really important: Get a decent cut - shoulder length or shorter (very few woman over 40 can carry off anything longer) and only home dye if you really must and please avoid anything with red tones - it rarely looks anything other than cheap.

Once you've had a decent cut, try and blow dry it yourself after every wash - only the exceptionally lucky can carry off air dried hair. You don't need to be a professional, even turning your head upside down and blasting the roots then smoothing the length is better than nothing.

Have you brows professionally threaded. Definitely worth doing this at least once then you can continue the up keep with tweezers at home.

If you have pale lashes/brows consider getting them professionally dyed - no need for eye make up during the day.

Buy a great coat, great boots and a great bag. Especially in this weather it is pretty much all most people see.

A good outfit for play parks etc:

• a-line cord or flannel skirt
• knee length flat boots
• thick wooly/ cashmere ribbed tights (need warmth with skirts, I personally don't get on with trousers as I have an odd shaped mid section)
• long vest top/ t shirt
• shorter length cardi
• (if extra cold add 3/4 length cardigan coat thingy)
• huge 'thin' wool scarf (so as not to be too bulky) looped around neck

If outside/ at park keep on the outer layers of:

• wristwarmers
• knitted beanie style hat (brighter the better, Boden do / did good ones)
• across body bag (leaves hands free)
• bright coloured canvass/ cord coat/ or ancient wax if in live in sticks. Looks good without trying in a rustic way.

HTH

what is it with A line skirts? i hate them. Thye look so mumsy and make arses look huge

I find the a line has opposite effect on me - but I did say I have an odd shape

like the coat thing
watch cross body bags with "bangers"( ew) though as they look bad.

PS: regarding hair would also add that if you have mad hair (like me) a hat bunged on after an (in my case pathetic) blow dry can help calm the outer layers and reduce fuzz for when hat taken off.
(Need to get dryness factor right though to avoid ending up with hat ridge around head, not a good look, but one which I often sadly suffer.

the tigi conditioner ("curls rock" ew ew ew) has revolutioned my slightl wavy hari this xmas

I would love to know if there is a hair product which can be smoothed through hair after an inadequate blow dry to make it look slicker. I have masses of hair and find it physically impossible to blow dry properly.

well mil gave me soem Tigi stuff that is good so far
ditto me and frizz

brb

this beauty

Thanks Glee, sounds promising. So many of them end up with greasy feel though, even when they say 'no weight'.

i put loads of this in

adn the blue leave in conditioner

When you find a pair of jeans that fit well and you like, buy them in every shade. Ditto for a good fitting comfy long and short sleeve top.

For grooming; pluck your eyebrows after or in a hot bath, dead easy then. Moisturise everywhere every day.

Pumice your feet once a month and put Vaseline on them, then cotton socks and then go to bed.

Have clean short tidy nails, clear polish will make you look more groomed and doesn't look sloppy when it chips.

Clean, pressed clothes.

Quick and easy make up- concealer for eyes, bit of translucent powder over eyes and across mouth, pop of cream blusher, lip gloss, mascara.

Grooming?

Well DD had a curry comb and a mane comb for christmas. I beleive that a good brush down after a ride does the trick. With a hose down and a visit from the farrier every 6 weeks.

Hopes that helps.

arf glee

I went to Debs in cardiff with MaryMotherof Cheeses t'other week and we made use of the brow bar, was hurty marv

The girlie used the thread and pulled it with her teef, fascinating

MrsSeanBean this is great - I run it through damp hair and leave it to air-dry. I hope I am one of the people who can carry off air-dried hair!

No pastel shades (pink) after age 30. No velour. Nothing bought from Primark in pastel or acrylic.
Good fitting dark wash boot cut jeans.
Tan boots with a small cone heel.
No knitwear from Tescos or Sainsburys.
Long sleeved white t-shirts with a tyop layered on top is OK to make your wardrobe larger.
If you are dark haired you can dye it yourself at home using the Perfect 10 range, but never in a red shade. Only Natural browns. And as long as its clean, even if you need to weash it everyday, length is unimportant. Buy a few cheapo clips etc to clip it back with loose bits rather than the scraped back ponytail look which only suits the very thin and very beautiful.
Nail colour unimportant as long as perfect and as soon as chipped, removed.
No square ended, white tipped, acrylic nails. Like post-it noted stuck to your fingers. Gross. Especially with patterns on.

This is by no means a boast but i do wear makeup every day and generally dress nicely (not thru a large purse a lot from charity shops etc) ...even if im at home cleaning etc .....well just recently ive not been having a v easy time and opened the door looking like shit to my neighbour - omg you look so .........normal she cried .

bigusbumus, could you be more specific?

and here's me thinking this would be a thread about paedos....

wrong again!

twice in one year...tsk tsk.

Soz Expatagain. Had just had a row with DP and you know when you just kinda go into one?!! .....

I s it really true about forty plus mums and boden and white stuff?

BettyButter - do you have wavy hair, and does that B&B stuff fight frizz?

i find a grade 7 clipping blade with a 30 for paws, face and tail does a great job...

though for a show trim, chuck the 7 and do the detail with at least a 40f or if the skin can take it, maybe use a 45.....

all the better if you can get a successful show person to scissor for you!

you did mean dogs, no?

MrsSeanBean - my hair is weird. It's really thick and wavy at the back, but much finer and straighter around my face. It's long, though, which seems to pull the waves straighter.

I do find that the B&B stuff fights what frizz I get, although it seems a lot worse in the winter... I have to remember to put it on while still wet but not too wet, IYSWIM. Don't always manage it.