Who would like to dress Wilf? As ever I need help.

[WilfSell]

Photos on profile. I look much worse since I caught that black squiggly head disease. As you can see I am basically conical. And my stomach adds a size.

I want to look edgy. And fashionable. There is no hope short of 3 stone less is there?

Right. I am off to listen to DS singing at nativity service. I can't sit and watch all the hysterical shrieks of horror come in.

Or bear it if you just politely ignore me. C'mon, I'm sharing...

Good lord woman, you're not as bad as you paint yourself.

Unfortunate about the squiggly head disease though. Hard one to shake off I hear.

Right, once dc in bed, I will return to do some serious clothes searching for you.

agree that improving your posture will make you look taller, slimmer and more elegant without the PITA of actually having to stop eating cake.

You can look much better without having to go on mad crash diets.

I don't really do 'edgy', tbh, it is better to wear what flatters your body shape and colouring rather than the latest gear for fashions sake (unless Hurrah! what suits you is a actually in fashion).

BTW - I didn't shriek in horror

Ok lose the trainers and all in one black blob look.

You need either a decent pair of Boots, or that MN staple, the converse. These will update you straight away.

What size are you at the moment? and how fussy ?

do you have a decent pair of jeans? Smart ones, dark denim without frayed bit for wearing with brown heeled boots?

Right, yes there have been some good questions. What size are you? What about bra size?

Ditch the trainers. Yes, get something comfy, convenient for your lifestyle (not necessarily high heels or anything impractical). Boots would be good (either ankle or knee whatever, do you have any good footwear already?) for the rest of winter. Converse good but your feet would get soggy, surely?

Do you have a decent bra? I think that would be a good starting place, getting properly fitted and buying at least one good, well-fitted bra. I'm sure it would help you feel more confident about your shape as well.

I feel you should be wearing v necks or something in the top half to give you more shape. I also feel you would probably look LOTS more shapely in (for example) a knee length a-line skirt with boots.

Ooooh, back from Carols and lots of replies.

Heh heh heh... I am wearing my sunday special of saggy black pants, trainers from power walking (rarely leave house without Fly or Duo boots normally ) and mostly wear longer V necks and jackets to give me more waist. The jumper is the nearest thing I could find and is shrunken! Hence the long vest top underneath.

I am a large 16 top and and 18 bottom and stomach. If I could do a bit more exercise, I could probably lose a size on bottom

I don't need edgy really (am not). But I'd love to brave more skirts that aren't a fishtail shape but hate my fat legs so very much, I don't tend to get me knees out.

And I know how to do tailored and suits etc - given my shape, that look is easy. But I'm buggered how to do evening and fashion without looking sausagey.

Thanks to everyone who commented on my other 'dress' thread though - that was really helpful...

norks: humongous. I think currenntly a 34F/G in Bravissimo sizing.

PS Am standing like a Gumby on purpose: I got DH to photo my real shape at its worst so I could move my lardy arse into doing something about it because I love clothes so much believe it or not...

Wilf I love you

Okay

First

Bra - you must must must get fitted properly

You are getting one humunguous tick for Fly boots - ergo your legs are Not That Fat therefore we can get you into a skirt QED

And you are tall

so how do you fancy going to somewhere like debs and gathering armfuls of skirts in varying shapes and sizes?

I know I know you would prefer to eat your own arm

not long boots BALD: only ankle... Have to buy rugby players' boots from DUO

Skirts? Debenhams? Argh. Can't. Get. Out. Of. Trousers.

Step away from fish tail skirts. You're FAR too young for them.....and.....they exaggerate places where you don't want them to exaggerate.

Totally agree about A Line skirts and knee length boots, opaque tights. Honestly, you can dress it up or down, mix and match for any occasion.

Converse if you want funky trainers for rushing around in, either that or some of the European looking, thin soled trainers that look really cool. Wear with jeans though.

yeah I don't actually wear them (fishtail skirts), it's just what people seem to suggest for fat calves But I hate em.

Jeans. Really? I daren't. What current jeans could I wear?

love the black squiggly head disease. I know a few people who could benefit from acquiring that, can you arrange for it to be contagious?

as for the clothes, I am Cluesless, so

god i HATE the farking a line skirt, tights white stuff cardigan and fly mol uniform
BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRINg

Defo go and try jeans on, the right pair will make you feel and look fab. My SIL is your shape and she wears sort of boyfriend shaped baggy ones (think she gets them in Next) with funky bright coloured belts. Don't go too high waisted, but on the same note, don't go too low.

SIL also has a top from Dorothy Perkins that she looks amazing in, but I can't find it online. Will try to find a pic for you.

Aha, here is the top my SIL has, she has it in black. Admittedly this is a shit photo but honestly it looks fab on as it's not clingy, the satin is thick (duchesse?) and the unusual neckline is quite funky.

i like that top actually, but will need arms covering. Hmm, might buy...

And I have a 3 C-section overhang and irrevocably separated abdominus rectii.

So low slung jeans are difficult.

Jeans - you MUST.

I am a similar shape to you I think - tall, 12-14 on top, 16 bottom, calves shocking.

You need jeans with a good rise. Bootcut are the most flattering, but straight leg work too, and are more current. Skinny might be ok, but I have found that if your calves are ropey then getting them to fit is a nightmare.

french connection French connection is a terrifying shop but the denim is ace for pears - good rise on 'em. Most importantly the sizing is so generous you definitely need to size down.

uniqlo also great cuts and have 16s and 18 outside of the sale

these look gopping on here but M and S always look ropey on the web, and are much nicer in real life. the straight leg indigo ones are also good.

and if you have ropey calves (and I do), long boots are your friend. They are the great leveller - no-one knows whether the ankle underneath is finely-turned, or cankle.

[http://www.clarks.co.uk/find/Department-is-women/ProductType-is-boots/SubProductType-is-longleg boot/product-is-20323961 chunky heel]] good for skirts - stops the weeble effect to which I am prone.

try again