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Original poster

what do you do to feel good about yourself??

27 replies

LetThemEatCake · 09/11/2009 22:22

I've come to the conclusion that much of my self esteem is bound up in how skinny I am and what I wear. I also like myself when pregnant. But there's that wasteland, which I am currently inhabiting, between the two .. no longer pregnant, yet definitely not skinny. In the past few years, I've just gone and got pregnant again but that can't really happen this time

Anyway. In the absence of a wardrobe-friendly figure and a bun in the oven, what can I do to stop myself sliding into low-level depression?

Points to consider:
I am vain
I am full-time mum to 3 dcs aged 3 and under (thus have little time)
I work (freelance, from home)
I'm not mad keen on makeup and whatnot - but really need to feel attractive despite not being a size10

Can i pick your brains? what do you do to feel fabulous?

OP posts:
SixtyFootDoll · 09/11/2009 22:27

Blusher and mascara
Fig body butter from M&S
Tidy eyebrows!

displayuntilbestbefore · 09/11/2009 22:31

quick catch up with the ladyshave, bunch of freesias, mug of hot chocolate and some hubbytime!
On a daily basis, always have freshly washed hair and try to dress as nicely as you would if you were going out with friends for a nice luncheon!!!

Goober · 09/11/2009 22:31

Wine.
Baileys.
Vodka.
Cider.

VerityBrulee · 09/11/2009 22:40

Clean hair and heels. I tend to put on jeans and flats at 7am, but a few weeks ago I challanged myself to wear skirts/dresses and heels for a week. I'm not talking Louboutins, just a couple of inches, I was running around all day. My legs were starting to ache by the end of the week, but it did wonders for my morale, I just felt much more together.

A spray of perfume and slick of lipgloss are good too.

FaintlyAmusedEyebrows · 09/11/2009 22:42

Message withdrawn

FaintlyAmusedEyebrows · 09/11/2009 22:47

Message withdrawn

kanita · 09/11/2009 23:13

Work out where and when possible. Not to get trim instantly but to feel more energized... That was the first thing I did post pregnancy to get back into more healthy mind-set. (And I was/am no size 8 gym bunny - but it did help me!)

motherlovebone · 09/11/2009 23:17

laugh
tint eyelashes
luxurious cardigan to snuggle into
dont think too much

DrNortherner · 09/11/2009 23:27

I have nice baths, i de fuzz on a regular basis, i kep neat eyebrows, i style my hair and wear make up most days.

I work out, OUTDOORS - i joined a british military fitness group and it is the best thing i have ever done.

Bonsoir · 10/11/2009 09:14

A skirt and boots with a small heel makes me feel much more glamorous than jeans.

mamayaya · 10/11/2009 09:16

eyebrow threading.

Exercise.

Blusher (try maybelline mousse one - easy!)tinted moisturiser and mascara.

Nail varnish.

MarshaBrady · 10/11/2009 09:18

This is what I do to feel great:
I never wear jeans.
Usually dresses, with nice Wolford tights.
Swim regularly, ah bliss

No crap food, only good stuff (can include butter, milk, etc all good ingredients, just no crap).
Have great friends who make you laugh

BunnyLebowski · 10/11/2009 10:40
  1. Sex.
  2. Nice underwear (which usually leads to no.1 .
  3. Defuzzing everywhere and moisturising with Palmers Cocoa butter (which again usually leads to no.1).
  4. Taking time to do my hair and put on make-up.

I have to say thought that 13 months of breastfeeding have left me skinnier than before getting pregnant and I feel FANTASTIC!

My old clothes fitting, looking in the mirror and seeing cheekbones and not having 5 rolls round my belly make me feel so confident and happy with myself.

Does that make me shallow? I dunno but at the minute I don't care!

TheRealMrsDanvers · 10/11/2009 10:41

Good grooming- attack eyebrows and fuzz
nice lipstick
squirt of perfume usually lemony
one piece of jewellery (apart from rings)
good book and a drink (wine or hot choc) at the end of the day

KristinaM · 10/11/2009 11:17

exercise, whatever works for you and your lifestyle

for me, i go to the gym. i need the motivation of classes and "having" to go because i have booked

but hard with small baby, unless they have a creche

abitchilly · 10/11/2009 11:46

Wow LTEC, I'm right there with you. I only have 2 DC but they're young and I also work from home.

I keep finding myself fantasising about being pregnant again even though I know I wouldn't cope well at the moment. I miss that identity it gives you and I can't slot back into the "age 20-30 professional, scrubs up well even with 4 hours sleep" bracket again.

'Sliding into low-level depression' is a very good description. It won't happen to you because you're being pro-active and v self-aware.

Thanks for making me realise I need to do something too though.

Bonsoir · 10/11/2009 11:51

I think that the feeling described in the OP is the pivotal moment before morphing into a Yummy Mummy

abitchilly · 10/11/2009 12:32

Does that happen a la super-hero?

neve33 · 10/11/2009 13:51

Message withdrawn

CHOOGIRL · 10/11/2009 14:34

Nothing really makes me feel fabulous when I have made the mistake of stepping on the scales on a 'fat day'. So I make set about making an action plan to improve whatever is wrong that day. That way I am back in control.

I always wear good shoes, and have neat nails.

I then watch 10 yrs younger or similar programme and feel better that I don't look that bad.

Finally, I put the scales away with a mental note to not get them out for at least two weeks.

HTH

AngelinaJolly · 10/11/2009 19:48

I agree with the self-maintenance stuff.
When I'm feeling a bit negative about myself I'll do something affirming like arrange an evening with my friends, then we can all remember what a fabulous, gorgeous bunch of brilliant and capable mummies we are. And that gives me a boost to climb back on whichever wagon I've fallen off recently. And some couple time with DH too.

Mimi1977 · 11/11/2009 10:26

This won't help much but I felt really crap about myself until I lost my baby weight and could fit back in my old jeans again. It really did affect my self esteem so much and now I'm a size 10 again (which took 9 months I have to confess) I actually want to make an effort.

It did help me to get a haircut (a fringe cut in - nothing too dramatic).

PutDown · 11/11/2009 10:51

For me,make up every day.Am so vain I cannot go out without it.
I use Bobbi Brown foundation,powder on chin and forehead,blusher/bronzer,mascara and Mac lipstick or gloss.
I also have to have clean hair.
Clothes wise,I don't wear jeans every day,maybe once a week.

mummee09v · 11/11/2009 11:31

what a great thread

this is what i do. might not work for everyone but here goes!!

LOADS of water. does wonders for your skin.

have your eyebrows threaded every few weeks (and tinted if necessary) - makes a BIG difference.

twice-weekly fake tan. throughout the year!

child free time with my fiancee. we like to have at least 2 nights out a month and have been away for the weekend twice since my youngest was born 6 months ago.

exfoliate once a week at least. i use the st ives stuff in the round tub.

as other ladies have said, keep your toes n fingernails painted.

pilates is brilliant, it works wonders. i haven't been for a while but i WILL start again!!!

use a high SPF sunblock as your main moisturiser. i use factor 30 as apparently a lot of skin ageing is solely down to UV exposure.

i could go on!! will add some more when i have time!!!!

Feelingforty · 18/11/2009 16:13

at the very least, very good hair, mascara & plucked eyebrows.