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Original poster

Need a First Communion dress for a dd who hates dresses

21 replies

ZZZenAgain · 16/10/2009 21:14

It is a bit early yet but I am trying to think what I can do about this. Dd doesn't wear dresses of any type - or only under duress.

She is tall, has waist length hair which I think I will just clip off to one side with a silver clip. I need a dress that looks comfortable and unfussy and is not too girly or too much like a princess dress or wedding dress but will still look more or less alright on the day. I don't think a traditional white dress with a bunched skirt would go down well at all - but what?!

Is there such a thing? She will never wear it for anything else, that's for sure so really just need it for this one occasion.

OP posts:
teamcullen · 16/10/2009 21:46

Try BHS they have communion/bridesmaid dresses which are quiet plain. You might have to wait until after Christmas. Also Next have some nice unfussy dresses in their wedding collection for girls.

I know in our church we have the option of wearing school uniform with a navy sash, which looks smart. Some parents decide to do this and buy DCs a football kit or something else they will get more wear out of rather than wasting money on something they will wear once.

Original poster
ZZZenAgain · 16/10/2009 22:00

I think that is a good practical solution teamcullen. I know most girls love to have a nice dress and all the rest of it but unfortunately dd is a bit of an oddball when it comes to dresses.

I know it's a bit early to fuss about it, but I'll have a look at Next and BHS, see what there is online. Thanks

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teamcullen · 17/10/2009 00:07

I had a friend whos DN was the same. Her mum had to bribe her to wear dresses for formal occations and they definatly couldnt be pink. Her hair was never longer than a short bob and bobbles or hair slides were a no go.

She is 13 now and much more girly than anybody would ever have believed possible.

mathanxiety · 17/10/2009 03:00

I saw some nice patterns for dresses that were not necessarily First Communion style. You might get someone to make one. There are lots of choices for sewing patterns and you don't have to restrict yourself to 'fancy' dresses.

VerityBrulee · 17/10/2009 08:23

I was also going to suggest getting a dressmaker to make something for her, maybe an A-line shift in pretty fabric she could choose herself.

The blue one could be lovely in a plain linen.

Third from left would look nice in a lightly embroidered fabric.

My mum makes lovely dresses for dd (and me) and dd loves going to the fabric shop and choosing the fabric and trimmings. If your dd can choose exactly what she wants you might have a better chance of getting her to wear it

mysteryfairy · 17/10/2009 15:08

Monsoon tend to do some simple white dresses in the summer. I actually noticed a dress in their mid season sale a couple of weeks ago that was very simple white cotton and would have been perfect as a low key communion dress. At the moment all their pale winter dresses are ivory and whilst I know some people have ivory communion dresses I don't think they photo well next to any white dresses.

We live in an area with few catholics and don't have a good catholic school for DC to go to, so things aren't organised by a school. There are usually only a couple of girls in the parish making their first communion each year. This year neither wore a communion dress at all. One of them was wearing an orange dress and the other a white cropped trousers outfit. Neither was banned from making their communion!

My mum was unexpectedly very approving and said she hoped DD would be following their lead next year. We already have a full length white silk dress ready and waiting though as I snapped it up from M&S sale in the summer. There are a couple identical listed on ebay now for £30 but I paid either £15 or £19 in the sale - can't quite remember:
M&S dress
I quite like this dress as although long it is very simple and non shiney.

When I made my first communion in the 1970s I was too scared to make my first confession so missed out on communion day. In the end my mum had a house mass (any other catholics remember them?) and I made my confession before the mass and my communion during it, wearing something completely unmemorable.

I guess my point in all this ramble is that your dd doesn't have to be dressed in anything particular at all...

Original poster
ZZZenAgain · 17/10/2009 21:46

Thanks I have been looking at the links and some websites but tbh she just doesn't like dresses full-stop, even simpler ones which are more like light summer dresses. I will show her some of these on the thread, see what she thinks

I hadn't thought of getting one made up with a pattern but that is a good idea, thanks for that. Will have a look when I get the chance in a few pattern books for inspiration.

That's interesting mystery that you saw someone in a white trouser suit because dd has been asking why she cannot just wear trousers - and I did not really know why not other than that's tradition.

Hmm I suppose we won't be turned away if she is not looking traditional. I'm wondering now if she couldn't have a kind of (nice obviously) caftan thing over trousers. I had been wondering if she would be more willing to wear something like a white dress with pale spots on it (not too garish, jsut pastal ones), something like that.

In the end though, it's just a couple of hours and she may have to just bite the bullet.

OP posts:
Original poster
ZZZenAgain · 17/10/2009 21:48

am going to check out the FHC pictures from the previous two years now but I think they were in veils, long dresses and carrying little bags even. Can't recall anyone being dramatically different to that

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Original poster
ZZZenAgain · 17/10/2009 21:53

hmm have just googledand learnt that boy in Scotland often wear a kilt and that in Switzerland and Luxembourg both boys and girls wear a simple white robe with a plain wooden cross.

Interesting

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aarghhelp · 17/10/2009 21:59

I was brought up RC (am now C of E). I had a knee length white lacy dress for my 1st communion and a floor length white dress for my confirmation. Funnily enough, I got married in black velvet and silver brocade...

I also don't see why a white trouser suit or otherwise an outfit with trousers couldn't be worn. It could look very smart and if it better reflects your daughter's personality and style, that could be very fitting.

Original poster
ZZZenAgain · 17/10/2009 22:04

As a girl I wore trousers and I wore dresses no problem at all, so I do get a bit testy about this but that's the way she's made.

I googled and some American bridalwear shop informs sharply :
"4. Communion dresses are always worn by girls. Now is not the time to make a feminist statement."

tbh I don't really see what the big deal is about a little girl wearing a pair of trousers, it's unlikely to be immodest really on a dc that age. I think in the past the dresses were generally just simpler and worn with long lacey socks or simple stockings. The ones I see online are often very pretty but look more and more like mini bridal dresses

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Tortington · 17/10/2009 22:07

i would get a nice white trouser suit.

if in doubt ask the priest - but unless you have one of those old timer sticklers - it shouldn't be a problem imo

Original poster
ZZZenAgain · 17/10/2009 22:08

bet you looked great in the black velvet with silver. You vamp, you.

OK I've checked out the photos from the previous two years and the girls are definitely all in traditional white dresses, ranging from simple looking summer dresses to floor length and fancy

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Original poster
ZZZenAgain · 17/10/2009 22:14

ok will have a gentle probe tomorrow then

We do have one of those I think custy

OP posts:
teamcullen · 17/10/2009 22:31

Id ask about the possibility of wearing school uniform and buying something that she likes for your family celebration. I think the priest will actually be supportive because that way there is more focus on the meaning of the day and its not all about the dress.

You could also suggest that she wears a plain white tshirt for any group photo so she doesnt stand out.

MrsBadger · 17/10/2009 22:46

the outfit that sprang to my mind was close to your kaftan-and-trous idea, kind of like a shortish shift dress over trouser
like a salwar kameez I suppose...
eg the pink dress over the cropped trousers from here, or the blue dress over the trous from Verity's link

unfitmother · 17/10/2009 22:48

I got DD's from M&S it was very simple.

mathanxiety · 18/10/2009 05:49
  1. Communion dresses are always worn by girls. Now is not the time to make a feminist statement." Nothing like that sell, sell, sell attitude

I personally think there's never a bad time to make a feminist statement LOL.

Having seen a little boy sporting a pair of bright green pants and silver jacket over his favourite Batman T-shirt at one of my DD's First Communions, and having seen the warm reception he received from priest and congregation alike, I would hope your DD will have a similarly happy experience. It's not what's on the outside that counts.

Original poster
ZZZenAgain · 18/10/2009 17:02

LOL I know, it's so adamant. Cracked me up - and scared me a bit.

Thanks for the tips, I will run them past dd and let her have a look at some of the simpler dresses, I think the shift dress, loose trousers is ok really (quite like that MrsB) but will everyone laugh, thinking she has turned up in pajamas?

To be on the safe side, I will not mention the bright green trousers, batman tshirt and silver jacket! I know she'd really like the sound of that

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mathanxiety · 18/10/2009 18:22

His granny made him the silver jacket because he had his heart set on it

GillianB1 · 07/11/2009 17:33

Try www.myfirstholycommunion.co.uk - the lady there is really helpful and she has stuff for everyone - plain & elegant or full on !!!! Good luck

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