If you are one of those shiny haired mums who always looks better than me, tell me how.

[MrsSeanBean]

'They' always look more put together than me.

• Why didn't I think of that colour combination, (eg pink and green atop 'nice' jeans) so 'fresh' and uncontrived?

• Oh, what a great way to wear last years's Monsoon shrug. So fresh so new, and yet no hours spent wrestling in sweaty changing cublicle with this year's offering, trying in vain to look good (like muppet yours truly).

• I spend hours on the straighteners and am trumped yet again with natural (NB: no frizz) waves, while I resemble straw thatch. Grrr.

• 'They' look great with brunette while I look like ugly sister in a fine shade of mmouse.

I also sweat profusely when battling with DS in public. No -one else does.

Why, why, why? (an eternal, unsolvable question I fear.)

Condition your hair and run cold water on it afterwards. Put frizease serum on it wheile it is soaking wet - just squeeze it out and stroke it on, and leave to dry naturely = soft smooth shiny luscious curls..

Well if you really must, my mother would not let me wear jeans, or indeed any trousers' while I was 'under her roof' (ie throughout my teens). It was a religious issue as she saw it. I am my own woman now and can of course do as I wish, but it's left scars. Lots of guilt and confusion. As I said, not at all relevant for a style thread. Maybe another day on a mental health thread, or on that 'stately homes' / parent thread.

Oh Mrs SB. You have lovely taste in clothes (I am sure I recollect doing battle in the Toast sale for the same items )

I (ahem) glow when dealing with DCs or when temp raises its little head above 18 degrees. I have always been terribly jealous of women who still look powder fresh by lunch time. For me, the answer definitely lays in hormonal fluctuations. Agnus Castus eased those symptoms somewhat. In addition I purchase and made liberal use of Mitchum. It really does what it says on the tin......ain't no sweat breaking out of that layer once applied!

Hair probs......I used to have shiny hair until farking stoopid stylist botched my hair colour at last appointment. I used to have brunette tresses and a few subtle blonde highlights (think sun-lightened rather than WAG), I now have awful frizz randomly placed throughout the ends of my hair (something to do with extreme feck up with colour mixing) which I am stuck with until it is long enough to be cut out. I have been desperately trying to grow out a POB and am reluctant to have it cut too short now it is shoulder length. I digress. So. Just try Wella Life Tex. I use it after washing my hair - its a moisturising hair mask - and it eases all my frizzes away. Alternatively, try John Frieda's shampoo for curly hair. No. I don't have curly hair either but it stops the frizz and makes the most of a subtle natural wave that is in there somewhere

But.......most importantly.....why are you not allowed to wear jeans??

x-post Mrs SB. Sorry for raising painful issues again

There was a girl like that at school with me - her father (divorced, she lived with him) would not let her wear trousers. Very odd and her upbringing was old fashioned and out of sync with the times in many other ways. Was yours? I wonder whether your boredom has something to do with limits that your mother may have imposed upon you that you are still imposing, unnecessarily, upon yourself...

Sorry MrsSB. There are lots of nice styles of trousers though, Fat Face and White Stuff tend to do nice casual styles.

also, ime, we are so hard on ourselves that we think everyone else looks chic and we look a bit, erm, thrown together. I bet if you asked your friends, or even random strangers on the street, they would have a very different view of your look

Yes quite possibly connected, BA.

Mrs JS, lovely to see you! Yes I remember that Toast dress well

I will get myself to Boots and try Mitchum. Will also investigate Well product, thanks.

I think the crux of the problem with my hair is that I have over coloured it and wrecked the condition But am one of those people who simply does not feel right with shorter than shoulder length hair. I would rather suffer the straw effect, grow out a bit before chopping!

Wella

Was gonna suggest mitchum...see someone else pipped me to it. The roll on takes a little while to dry but is very effective. I know just use the spray. I swear by it.

Steer clear of heat products on hair as often as possible.

Tidy eyebrows, mascara and always clean shoes are you are half way there.

For the frizz, google the 'no poo method' (refers to shampoo and has been the subject of several threads here) which involves cleaning the hair with conditioner which apparently has mostly the same ingredients as shampoo.

Revives your natural curl and shine.

Sorry can't link as am on itouch and haven't cracked that technique.

Sagacious - do you know if you can still buy the Evian water spray (in a small can, intended for facial use)? I haven't seen it for ages but used to buy it a lot.

I'm sure they have it in Boots.

Nice painted nails
Nice watch
Good shoes
Good haircut
Nice makeup

And a smile

hey mrs SB, with regards to hair, I have frizzy hair with a natural wave and i think the key is good hairdresser, good colourist ( i only have semi's so v shiny) and a bloody good hairdryer. Mine cost £120 but is amazing, it really sorts the frizz out and i get that nice blowdryed look IYKWIM!!!

I sweat like no bodies business when in battle with kids so no advice there i'm afraid!!

If I was a multi-millionaire I would pay for someone to blowdry my hair!

Thanks all.

Nice painted nails - check (Chanel no less)
Nice watch - check - Cartier no less
Good shoes - check
Good haircut (well the cut is OK but we'll gloss over the rest!)
Nice makeup - yeah, I think I do OK.

And a smile - check, always grinning, even to complete strangers.

Hmm, maybe as Mrs JS said, I am being paranoid too hard on myself.

Will try the dubiously named poo method, TY!

I bet other mums are looking at you and thinking grr....

I think the heating up and sweating with the kids thing is the same as how only a mum hears her newborn babys cry as being incredibly loud, everybody else thinks its a vaguely audible bit of mewling. (as in, you probably think it's ragingly obvious and nobody else would notice...) Oh it's too early. Need coffee.

Magicool is good for the overheating/sweaty issue. Its marketing as air conditioning in a can or some other such guff. Its a cooling water spray and is really handy.

Second mitchum for under arms.

My hair is always less frizzy on the day after washing but can be a bit greasy at the roots so dry shampoo is another must.

You can get a deodrant that you use at night, then wash off in day time. A few varierties in boots. Driclor stings me like mad. I use tripple dry. And then I use mitchimum in the day time. hth.

The other thing that I would add, is that the people I always think are v well dressed wear clothes that are cut well. They don't have to be expensive, but if they fit you well, it makes all the difference.

I do think it sounds like you are prob lovely looking but being too hard on yourself. Hope some of the tips help you to feel more confident and enjoy yourself and how good you look a bit more.

I have curly hair so know all about frizzies! have tried most things! I dont rate the frizz ease shampoo but like the mousse . But that is ok for a couple of weeks then seems not to work! I use the serum, but ditto the mousee.

At the mo i like the aussie friz control (something like that) serum/crea, stuff that you can use on wet or dry to tame.

I gave up on hair straightners as they damage the hair and make it dry. I use intensive conditioner and my locks are more shiny. i can put up with a wave.

I tried the no-poo method, and to my absolute gobsmacking surprised it works for me- I've done it for about 4 weeks now and my hair really hasn't looked better. All my friends think it's a bit dubious, but noone could be more surprised than I am!

I too suffer the "sweaty oil slick face" syndrome.( ever since DD came along!!)
This is what usually works for me:
Light oil free moisturiser. this these and this and a dusting of loose powder

With you on the sweat thing. Nothing works for me - not even the hardcore stuff. Boohoo!

Here's what I don't get.

How come people know how to get hairdressers to give them very trendy, statement hairstyles?

I don't really want a v trendy hairstyle these days but I did when I was younger, yet despite visiting all the best hairdressers in the city (Edinburgh), I kept getting ok-ish, but not edgy styles.

Do lots of people go into the hairdressers and say, look, I really mean this, I want a seriously trendy cut, not just a nice one?

Anybody solve this one? I even tried dressing in the style I wish they'd cut my hair for ifswim. But I just wasn't deemed worthy of that seriously edgy look, despite the pictures in the window sugesting they did these cuts routinely.