What to wear to knock former love of my life and his wife dead?

[mrsshackleton]

OK, so coming up is a friend's 4oth at which an ex of mine whom I was madly in love with and to some extent never got over, even though I dumped him.

This was 16 years ago but I still have dreams about him - probably because we never had proper "closure" to be American. Am v happily married and know if I'd married this guy it would have been a disaster but it was the big emotional watershed of my twenties and they say you never completely recover from your first heartbreak. p

I will see him and his wife for the first time in years at the party and obviously want to look incredible without looking like a desperate WAG iykwim. Sad, I know. But human. I'm 5'7, size 10,fair and in need of a new party frock anyway for all the other 40ths coming up. Any suggestions gratefully received .

[GossipMonger]

Dont go for a LBD! Please. Tis so 'meh' and uninspiring!

do you like the trews I linked to?

[crokky]

I think you should go looking quite relaxed and natural - jeans and a top if you feel comfortable in that sort of stuff. I think overdoing it will make you feel self conscious and you wouldn't want them to think that you were overdone for their benefit - they'd think you were sad then.

[mrsshackleton]

Gossip - am getting hair done the day before, may try to fit in a tan but there may not be time. I love the playsuit too but already started a thread on them today and the consensus was they look better on size 6 models than on 40 year old (albeit slim) mothers of two. But am still v tempted by it - and the blue tunic.

[GossipMonger]

NO! You are a size 10 and will look fab! I can imagine you floating round the room in it albeit ignoring ex and his wife who will be in a BHS polyester dress and flat shoes!

[flashharriet]

Sorry for linking to a LBD, obviously a faux pas . I am from the sticks though, we still like them out here .

If this was me, I would be going "classy" all the way, whatever you choose. As you said you were slim, blonde and tall, I had Grace Kelly as my vision IYKWIM.

[Heated]

That Anousha site is beautiful, georgous! but sold out

[mrsshackleton]

I love the way I have given you the impression I am Grace Kelly! I wish.

I am probably more this way

Think I might order the playsuit and then return it. Also love the blue tunic on there and the silver shift dress but that's sold out.

Florence, you have obviously got the same taste as me as I have a not dissimilar top to the Ted Baker already - hmm, maybe I should not go shopping and wear that with jeans. Or am I too old for leggings? (know this is a thread in itself)

[giantkatestacks]

mrsshackleton - ime what will knock an ex dead is not the same as his wife...which is more important?

[mrsshackleton]

Kate, good point

Ex far more important. I have nothing against his wife, she came on the scene after we finished and probably is miserable dealing with all his ishoos

However, as general consensus, I don't want to be in-your-face sexy, just so he has a pang. Hopefully she won't even be aware of my presence.

[Heated]

net-a-porter covers up but contemporary and sexy subtly alluring

[giantkatestacks]

Hmm mine have always been suckers for things that reminded them of when you met and they were young...

Or tops that are cut high up front but have some backage showing - they can be very sexy...but not overthetop like you're really trying...

Agree with the others that the most alluring thing is really looking like you've moved on and dont care at all - and that your life is really going swimmingly so no child related chaos - cos everything breezes along mary poppins stylee in your house oh yes...

[flashharriet]

mrsshackleton about to depart for the party

[Heated]

And this is rather lovely

[jumpingbeans]

mrsshackelton, that made me jump

[mrsshackleton]

Funnily enough last time I spied him across a crowded room (didn't know he was going to be there and we didn't talk though I saw him watching me ) I was heavily pg with dd1 and glowing, norks on full display in a wrap dress

So that was good in a I'm having babies with someone else way.

But you are right the message now is babies? Oh yes I've knocked out a couple but they have not impinged remotely on my fabulous lifestyle

Well, I can only try ... I like the Malene Birger top but am bad at underwear problems - what to wear underneath so bra didn't show?

[Heated]

mango

[mrsshackleton]

Flash - it's come back to me, the ex once told me his ideal woman was Grace K

But turning up in a ballgown probably doesn't give the correct I've got over you message

[mrsshackleton]

this'll be me if I'm not careful

[Beetroot]

don't get drunk

[Ewe]

Love this but you need to have certain skin type to carry off.

Simple gorgeous tailoring.

Cute if you have good legs. It's a fab site so have a look around! Good luck.

[Heated]

trying that mango link again

[mrsshackleton]

That is a good site Ewe

Much better than theoutnet for bargains

Oh dear.This is going to get expensive

I still can't get the purple jumpsuit out of my head but fortunately it's not available in my size right now as I still suspect it would look better on a tiny model than me.

[independiente]

The best way to send the correct i've-got-over-you message, is to not care about sending the message in the first place. Sorry to be a killjoy, but it's true.

[CJCregg]

I am with you all the way, Mrs Shackleton. Of course you're not over him, no point in pretending you are (I have the same problem with ex I spent my 20s with, still dream about etc) but I'm pretty sure you don't want to be 'under' him again, do you?

It's all about feeling good about yourself when you see him, and unless you're secretly planning or hoping that he'll fall in love with you and want to leave his wife and run off with you, there's nothing wrong with a bit of ego-boosting dressed up as closure - not in my book, anyway!

But if some of those 'what ifs' are taunting you, then that's another story. Am intrigued, quite honestly, as I really don't know what I'd do in the same situation. (Apart from come on here for fashion advice, obviously.)