What to wear to knock former love of my life and his wife dead?

[mrsshackleton]

OK, so coming up is a friend's 4oth at which an ex of mine whom I was madly in love with and to some extent never got over, even though I dumped him.

This was 16 years ago but I still have dreams about him - probably because we never had proper "closure" to be American. Am v happily married and know if I'd married this guy it would have been a disaster but it was the big emotional watershed of my twenties and they say you never completely recover from your first heartbreak. p

I will see him and his wife for the first time in years at the party and obviously want to look incredible without looking like a desperate WAG iykwim. Sad, I know. But human. I'm 5'7, size 10,fair and in need of a new party frock anyway for all the other 40ths coming up. Any suggestions gratefully received .

[boogiewoogie]

Mrs Shackleton,

Your initial plan worked very well indeed then!

On a more serious note, I concur with what has been said already but you have already told him quite bluntly where to go.

[FlorenceAndtheWashingMachine]

My goodness, he is keen. Well done for avouding cube-shaped, stalkerish man.

[mrsshackleton]

This is rumbling on and on, cubeman just called and asked if I'd received the email

Hard to believe a week ago I was so anxious about seeing him again and now he is being a bit stalkerish and pestiferous. Am not flattered to be pursued by a cube.

I politely told him there was so much water under the bridge I didn't see the point of us meeting up. And hung up. Fast.

Hopefully that will be an end to it

By the way I mentioned it to dh who sort of patted me on the head and grunted. He is not overly demonstrative, so I think that's about as much attention as I can hope for.

[FlorenceAndtheWashingMachine]

YOUR not you're DH (hangs head in shame)

[FlorenceAndtheWashingMachine]

Ok, but tell your DH that cube man wants you to meet him - you're DH will be ultra attentive for months!

[mrsshackleton]

I love the idea of a family lunch but if he did accept I'd be horrified

Illl ignore him. Then I won't have to worry again until my friends' 50ths start coming round. Then I will ask mnetters to make me look as unalluring as possible so this situation does not arise twice.

[FlorenceAndtheWashingMachine]

PS: I don't think he'll accept the family lunch invite but it makes your intentions very clear.

[FlorenceAndtheWashingMachine]

Oh dear, you have unwittingly snared him. Good thing the playsuit hadn't turned up or he might be proposing marriage.

Ask him round for lunch with your family, so that he can see you as something other than his former lover. DON'T meet him alone as he'll definitely think that you want to shag him.

Also, tell your DH everything as that way things with cube man cannot take on an exciting, secret gloss.

[DarrellRivers]

Ignore
Better not to enter into any dialogue at all

[mrsshackleton]

It's turning 40 Florence, you wait - it's a whole year of reunions and exes obviously resurface. Your turn will come m'dear.

On which note, have just received an email from the ex, pushing for lunch! Do I a) ignore it b) politely tell him to piss off. I think your style advice has been overly successful

[FlorenceAndtheWashingMachine]

My goodness, Mrs Shackleton, your life is absolutely littered with exes and opportunities to look glamorous.

Sorry to hear that you were less than thrilled with the other Anusha stuff.

[DarrellRivers]

Yes, I could have seen her doing that
How dare you have the audacity to state the quality of the fabric was not as luxurious in the flesh-oh, you are obviously a made up person pretending to order loads of clothes on-line for the fun of it!

[mrsshackleton]

I was a bit freaked too and relieved there was no record of my order, because I didn't fancy a phone call telling me off for not liking her stuff enough.

Next thing we'll have Johnnie Boden personally remonstrating mnetters for not finding his clothes "sassy" enough

Thanks for all the support Florence, I am now hoping he doesn't call me so I don't have to spell out why a drink is a really, really, really bad idea.

But I will report on playsuit I have another big 40th on Sat where the brother of an ex will be, so shall have to impress him as he'll report back It's neverending.

[DarrellRivers]

Well MrsS, Elizabeth from Anusha had no record of you buying all those things
She did sound a little bossy strict
Freaked me out a bit TBH, and hence the cancellation
Would be glad to hear the report on the playsuit nethertheless

[FlorenceAndtheWashingMachine]

Ooh, Mrs Shackleton that is a wonderful outcome. I am so glad that you were gorgeous in a casual way and that you found him utterly turn-down-able. Result!

I still want a report on how the playsuit looks when it arrives. I am impressed that Anusha Elizabeth sought you out on this thread.

[mrsshackleton]

Crikey, Darrell, that is a glamorous vision

Well, my playsuit is still en route so if it is transforming I'll alert you

Otherwise, Elizabeth will hunt us both down and beat us to death with a silk camisole

[DarrellRivers]

Cancelled the playsuit
just thought it best as your description of poorer quality fabric than imagined was probably worth bearing in mind.
Am frequently disappointed on this front when shopping on-line apart from net-a-porter
Am on the look out though for a suitable one when I go shopping, otherwise I have remembered rather lovely Armani dress in my wardrobe which doesn't get taken out much.

[mrsshackleton]

He is a screw up so I am sure he is back on the market and chasing up exes - as one does.

It could not have been more satisfactory if I'd scripted it.

Darrell let me know how the playsuit looks

[giantkatestacks]

Love the fact that he resembled a cube...

[DarrellRivers]

I love the fact you didn't recognise him until he came up to say 'hello'
All in all , a very satisfactory outcome
I bet he's regretting that he let you slip through his fingers

[mrsshackleton]

Just wanted to see if anyone was still interested before launching into it ...

He was there. He looked so fat, he resembled a cube. He'd sort of gelled his hair flat which looked most odd and oily and was wearing a Hawaiian shirt .

Most gratifyingly, I was looking right at him and didn't recognise him. He had to come right up to me and say hello before I twigged.

Anyway, I was surprisingly unnervous and we had a short chat, then later when I thought he'd left he sidled up to me and asked to take my "details" and said he'd love to see me one day [hmmm]

I'm not sure his wife was there, he appeared to be alone and he said he was living in his old flat which is a total bachelor pad, so I am wondering if he is now divorced and full of regrets.

Anyway, happily I was not remotely tempted. I said he could get my number from the hostess (was too embarrassed/surprised to refuse altogether) but when he calls I will say it was all a long time ago and I don't think it's worth reviving our "friendship" now.

And I wore .. skinny jeans over stiletto boots and a sort of silvery grey floaty top over it - much in the vein as discussed. Hair was done and for some reason (nerves) my skin was looking super glowy and radiant, I have to say I scrubbed up reasonably well.

The party was really fun anyway, saw loads of people I hadn't seen for ages. Came home reasonably merry (i remembered the don't get drunk warning) at about 1am and then was up at 6am when thunderstorm woke the dcs

Anyway, thanks everyone again for your input, I could not have had better closure if I'd tried [smile}

[Kitsilano]

Spill!

[DarrellRivers]

More than that please.....
Was he there?
Did he look fat?
What did you wear and did it look good?
[drums fingers expectantly]

[mrsshackleton]

Been to party

It went well

Thanks everyone

[DarrellRivers]