What do you do when you get too old for your 'look'?

[Mij]

So, I'm 38, currently pg with DC2, due July (so this isn't an immediate problem but I'm planning ahead!), usually hover around a size 12 to 14, and am 5'6. I'll probably be back to a 12 by the time DC2 is 6 months as I seem to turn the little baby weight I gain directly into breastmilk.

I am a slightly tomboyish dresser by nature - I like the sloppy skater-chic stuff that 30-somethings can get away with: Howies, Fat Face etc. But then, I used to look a good 5 years younger than I was, probably more, so I could get away with it.

Now, my grey is showing through and 3 years of broken nights is finally making my face catch up with my age. I'm just not comfortable in slogan t-shirts any more. But I can see no other looks that I like, that I know would suit me. I don't have good legs (used to be muscly, now just thick and cellulitey) and I'm not comfortable in skirts anyway, I have wide hips, a decent waist but a small bosom. I love vintage but have neither the time, patience or the figure to find/wear it. Where are my role models?! What shops will help me rediscover myself?

I'm terrified I'm going to turn into my Mum - she lost all sense of style after she had me (and photos prove she was very stylish pre-baby) and all confidence in her ability to put an outfit together.

How do I escape this fate? Oh - and on a budget too...

to anyone who has suggestions!

My suggestion for the transition is

stay casual but quality jeans, quality t shirts and shirts and i think you are still allowed converse but not tatty ones

up the ante significantly on hair, skin care, understated make up and jewellery

and make sure your clothes are not scruffy with trailing cotton and the like ..make things match a bit more

if you have purple converse wear some amethyst (i'm not joking)

that sort of thing

if you try anything really different you'll feel funny and give up very quickly

stuffit - upping the ante on any kind of body maintenance should be easy, as I do almost none at the moment. I've just thrown away all my make up because a) it's so old and b) I've forgotten how to apply it anyway. I think I've been lucky up to now - I've got relatively good genes for bone structure and skin, so all I've done is moisturise a couple of times a week for years.

That's a good start, thanks for the tips!

Ooh am going to watch this one as you sound like me. Except that I'm not currently pg (but thinking about it )

Ooh this is a good one! Sounds a bit like me really, I've lost my mojo stylewise too.
One thing I've done which seems to have worked for me is to give up wearing black and navy because they remind me of school/crap jobs I've had and try to go for some colour - does that sound good to you? I'm quite fair and can look really washed out so I try to go for gentle colours that will compliment my poor old knackered face and greying hair rather than fight them.
For make-up it's worth going somewhere like Bobby Brown, Laura Mercier, Mac, etc for a few bits like cream blush/eyeshadow. All those multi-use products are perfect for us tired mums.
May I suggest that you have a look online at Margaret Howell, Nicole Farhi(expensive but good for ideas), Saltwater, Comptoir des Cottoniers (still expensive, but they have good sales), Jigsaw, Kew etc. All nice clothes for women in their thirties. You might think it's all horrid, but hopefully it will start you off figuring how you want to dress in the future.

Am 31, but feel I'm slipping waaaaaay too close to mumsy.
Always had slightly eccentric dress sense which works fine when teen/early 20s, but now doesn't work (especially not with the jelly belly I seem to picked up somewhere).

Now I look in the mirror, whatever I'm wearing, and think..oh look...a mum...

I have always been into slightly different things but i think one of the main isseus of becoming a Mum is you totaly loise a snes of your own identity - who you are/waht suits you etc.

My DD is 2yrs 9 months and DS is 10 months, I am 37 next month and now I think feck it - life is just too short. Wear what makes YOU feel good and sod everone else - your only here once and for a very short time. So I choose to wear slightly eccentric things some days and dress down and comfy in jeans and things other days. x

womma will check out your suggestions. Although worried about the price - I inadvertently have expensive taste. DP tests me sometimes with a magazine page - asks what I like the most (clothes, furniture, anything) and I invariably like the insanely expensive.

I really, really do have to relearn make-up application, though. Honestly, can't put on anything without it looking like I did it while pissed (chance would be a fine thing...). But I'll def check out the brands you mention

rumpel i thought I'd missed the 'losing your identity thing', cos other mates who had kids seemed to really suffer and I just felt, well, like me still, just getting less sleep and with more washing to do. Plus I never had a complete break from work as, while I stayed off for 13 months officially, I work with DP and was always on-call for a bit of consultancy. But maybe this is how it's expressing itself - in wardrobe crisis!

I think I've just suddenly hit some kind of 'acceptability' barrier, the slogan t-shirts being the most obvious. For the first time I really do feel 'too old' to be wearing certain things. And I look at the high street and can't see anything between Topshop and Principles, and I'm just not ready to start wearing beige blouses. And I still need to be able to climb the biggest climbing frames in the park!

Mij very interesting thread. When I was reading your posts, I immediatly thought of French Connection. These have some really ok stuff, and not too pricey. Also, All Saints maybe for somerhing like a great leather jacket that will give the rest of the outfit an edgier look (and take away any mumsiness)

www.allsaints.com/product/?page=1&category_id=25&&prod_desc_id=5051214452494&position=1 I know this is expensive but price per wear, think it would end up being a good buy. (well for me anyhow!)

Oooh - d'you know, I've had a bit of a thing for French Connection since I was a teenager, but it's been an on-off relationship, depending on a complicated formula based around the size of my arse and the size of my bank balance!

And only the other day I was admiring a mate's top, and it was from FC. Great reminder!

I'm afraid my lentil-weaving ways won't let me 'do' leather jackets, but I get the principle! It's a lovely shape...