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Original poster

FAMILY WEDDING...IS NEW FROCK COMPULSORY??

14 replies

noonar · 07/04/2009 09:57

i have a beautiful oufit from monsoon that i really love and suits me better than anything i could buy new. i have worn it 3 times. my sil is getting married next month, and i'm debating whether i should get a new outfit or not. i really dont want to as the one i have is more than adequate and we are totally broke at the moment (quite serious financial diffs, tbh).

trouble is, i wore the dress to a wedding anniversary party last summer, and sil and family were there.

if i dont get a new frock, will i look like i havent made an effort/ am a cheapskate?

should i say that i've searched for a new outfit and couldnt find anything i like, and tell her in advance that i'm going to wear a dress she's seen before?

or should i put myself further into debt and buy a new dress?

OP posts:
Original poster
noonar · 07/04/2009 09:59

i just dont want sil think that the occasion isnt important enough to me to warrant a new dress. is that silly?

OP posts:
HeadFairy · 07/04/2009 10:00

I always think of it like this... can you remember what everyone else was wearing at the wedding anniversary party you went to last summer? If not, then I reckon no one will remember what you were wearing.

However, how about buying a nice new pashmina or something to throw over it if it's that kind of dress, or perhaps a lovely silk flower corsage you can pin to it?

HeadFairy · 07/04/2009 10:02

I know it's a bit SATC but they are very pretty

bleh · 07/04/2009 10:02

Change the accessories. It's the simplest thing, and TBH, I don't think people will necessarily remember what you wore, unless it was particularly memorable.

Original poster
noonar · 07/04/2009 10:07

i def think sil and mil will remember it but not anyone else.

OP posts:
Original poster
noonar · 07/04/2009 10:08

the shrug/ cardi that goes with it is really bright pink, and so is kind of memorable..

OP posts:
HeadFairy · 07/04/2009 10:12

A fabulous hat to change the look of the outfit?

Are you sure your SIL will notice? On my wedding day my guests could have turned up naked and I wouldn't have noticed because I was a) so stressed out about things going right and then subsequently b) so pissed after too many glasses of champers

tartetatin · 07/04/2009 10:16

Don't put yourself further into debt just because you are worried what the relies might think. If you have a lovely outfit that you are happy with and comfortable in, then stick with that. So what if they do notice? I'm sure they wouldn't be so rude as to mention it.

spiralqueen · 07/04/2009 10:48

Far better to wear something that you know suits you than spending money on something new. Very few people will remember what you wore to previous events and as Headfairy says you SIL will have too much else on plate on the day.

It may not be entirely helpful but in the 50s/60s there was a wedding hat that did the rounds in our family. It's become a bit of a where's wally thing in the family to look at the old photos and see which person's wearing the hat at which wedding.

samsonara · 08/04/2009 00:23

definately don't put yourself into debt, wear the dress and do something different with your hair, with a diferent parting and different eye make up, then atleast nobody can complain you will same in the family photos.

PortAndLemon · 08/04/2009 00:28

Wear the outfit. It suits you, you like it, it doesn't cost money. And don't bother telling her in advance.

ILovePudding · 08/04/2009 01:01

My Mum wore the same outfit to my sister and my wedding, because she loved it and finds it hard to find clothes that she feels good in (low self esteem). Obviously dad, sister and I knew, but didn't care in the least bit and just wanted Mum to feel confident. And I'm pretty sure no other relatives noticed.

I don't think you should buy another dress if you don't want to. Only someone very shallow would be bothered by you wearing the same outfit.

Wear what makes you feel good and enjoy the day!

Original poster
noonar · 08/04/2009 09:23

oh dear, i wish i'd checked back in on this thread BEFORE caving in and buying a new dress .you are all very kind.

i have spent £80 that i havent got, but at least i've bought a dress in a colour that goes with shoes and handbag from my other outfit (although the dress is a very different colour, the shoes and bag are tan so very versatile). i also got a little cardi that i wil be able to get a lot of use out of.

am still not entirely sure waht to wear but i have a receipt, and 14 days to decide!

OP posts:
OhBling · 08/04/2009 09:36

Take the dress back and feel good about the money you're saving.

everyone on here is right - wearing the same dress is absolutely fine. You're not part of the wedding party, walking down the aisle in a threadbare number you've had ten years - you're wearing a lovely, attractive, appropriate dress.

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