Anyone else still feel rubbish 8 months after giving birth?

[pinkcorsage]

I feel so frumpy all the time - I am very clean and hygienic, but my ds suffers with reflux so always have a bit of sick down me somewhere. I refuse to buy or wear nice clothes as I know they will get ruined. I still weigh the same as I did the week after giving birth - I desperately want to lose weight as getting married in August. I know how to lose weight, but I think being a SAHM, I just don't have that much of an incentive. I used to be a bit of a party girl when I was younger - always out after work, clubs, bars, parties and dates. So I think I always wanted to look good. Now I am lucky if I get to go out to the supermarket on my own of an evening. I see all these celebrities with their kids floating around in skinny jeans with tans and blow dried hair and I feel so inadequate. It is a rare occasion that my dh and I have sex, as I am always so tired and feel so shit about myself.
I also find it very difficult to get any proper exercise which I really think would help. People always say to go out for a walk with the pram, but I never feel like I am getting a proper burn - feel like I need to get running on the treadmill for 20 minutes. Can't afford a gym membership and no-one to look after ds, and the weather is always so crap to go out in. Anyway, put the violins away! Has anyone got any suggestions? Any tips to give me a kick up the arse and restore my self esteem? Be nice please!

Oh in the nicest of ways you have SO many excuses for not being able to do stuff (I know cos I'm the same )

What is your diet like?

My diet is terrible - just being honest! I KNOW I am doing wrong but it's almost like a food addiction. When I am stuck at home I stuff my face and most of the time I am not hungry, just doing it cos I'm bored or for comfort. I feel like I need to break this cycle in some way but not sure how. Every day I am disgusted with myself for what I have eaten, and vow that I will "start the diet tomorrow". I used to have the most fantastic willpower but now I just don't. Like I said I feel like I need an incentive - you would think my wedding would be enough but it's just not happening!

Maybe make an appointment with your GP. Get you iron levels and thyroid checked out. My thyroid packed in after having DS2, apparently it effects up to 10% of new mums. It made me tired and fat, but with medication I felt sooooo mcuh better. It eventually corrected itself after 18 months. Worth looking into.

Thanks crackfox will ask the docs - I actually know someone who had an underactive thyroid after having her dd, and it affected her in all manner of ways. Mind you I think the two packets of crisps I just ate may have more to do with it!!!

Hehe, I just had my iron levels and thyroid checked but they were fine.

Just fat then

I know how you feel, my DD is nearly 8 months and I've only just started losing weight.

The wedding would be a good weight loss goal to aim for though.

okay, not quite the same but 4 months after giving birth to ds2 I was feeling pretty shit. Carrying about a stone more than I wanted to, no time to exercise, low energy, generally blah.

A friend who had been in the same boat after the birth of her dc2 recommended Carol Vorderman's 28 day detox. was sceptical but friend and Carol V both level headed women so thought worth a shot.

I am not saying it is easy - it's not - BUT it is only 28 days and there is no restriction on portion sizes (important for me as am a guts)

Lost over a stone in 28 days and crucially it stayed off (creeping back on now, but am pg, so no drama)
Skin fantastic
Energy through the roof
Confidence back.

give it a go.

ps - lots of chopping and prep involved which sounds a faff but of you are as bored as you say you are then should not be a problem!! Plus, I quite liked the fact that it was pretty much the only thing I did in the course of a day which was for me

good luck

Thanks Letthemeatcake - I might look into that. It sounds really stupid, as I class myself as quite intelligent, but I need to have rules to follow. For example, if there is a diet that promises you will lose 1 stone and tells you exactly what to eat each day, then I will follow it and succeed, but if someone just says, eat healthily and exercise..well I just end up falling off the wagon.
PS It's not so much that I am bored, but so tired all the time that I end up sitting around, on net, watching TV drinking tea and eating! And obviously looking after my ds!! If I had more energy I would be cleaning house from top to bottom, out for a walk etc. Vicious circle as I know doing these things would actually make me feel better, but like I said before just can't seem to get going.

By the way is the Carol V diet a book?

I know what you mean. You need to break the cycle somehow. I promised myself for about a year before my wedding that I was gonna be a gym bunny, get all tanned and slim. It never happened and guess what - I had the fabbest day so don't let that worry you at all.

Think about life changing habits, not just for one day or one occasion. I try to eat proper during the week and splash out at weekends, it's my present to myself for managing to stay away from the biscuit tin

I also got a juicer a couple of weeks ago and a whole load of fruit. It's really good but it's maybe not for everyone. Making so much effort to have the juices everyday has made me really not want to spoil the good effect by having crap. I lost 5lb in my 1st 4 days and notice a great difference in my skin. Now I have juices during the day, a light dinner then a blow out on a Friday

I also started the oil cleansing method mentioned on here, it's fab too. There are so many things you can do that will make you feel better, little steps at a time. If you do too much at once and fail, it will feel worse and you'll guilt yourself into depression so just do a bit at a time.

Other stuff I do to feel good is dye my eyelashes (looks like you're wearing mascara when you're not and doesn't run or need washed off). I went and bought new lipstick colours and mineral powder instead of foundation and that alone feels like a whole new look.

Can you get a sitter for a day, or even a few hours and go out to the shops with a friend and get some inspiration?

How about taking your ds swimming? Even if you are not actually "swimming" being in the water is exercise in itself and its great for your kids too.

Do you take vitamins? Just starting multivitamins can make a lot of difference

I was like this after the birth of my first child. Didn't lose any weight for a long time, felt like shit, ate all the time and all the wrong stuff, couldn't be arsed with exercise and felt overwhelmed by the effort I thought it would taker to look/feel better.

Only thing for it is to take the bull by the horns and make a plan, lady!

Exercise is your first step. Start caring about your body - not just what it looks like, but your health. I am the laziest cow in the world but force myself to do two exercise classes a week and a good long walk every week day - at least 45 mins and a proper walk up hills, marching across park, speed walking down the high street etc, not just meandering round the shops ). Get a pedometer if it will help.

Once you've made exercise part of your routine - say, for one month - you can start to think about clothes/make up/diet/treats to make you feel good.

"that I end up sitting around, on net, watching TV drinking tea and eating"

If you have got time for that you have got time to do an exercise DVD. Being tired is no excuse, go to bed earlier and as you have already acknowledged being fitter will help with the tiredness.

We can sit here and type suggestions but there is no magic miracle cure and the only one who can get yourself out of the rut you are in is you. And as for having no incentive, well that's rubbish - how about your husband or your wedding or just YOU feeling better about yourself.

I found that the best way to stop eating junk is not to buy it. Simple I know but if it ain't there, you can't munch on it.
Also, I walked miles with the buggy and it DOES make a difference. Can you get a pedometer and wear it? Aim to do 10,000 steps a day - that'll help.

My boy was a year at the end of January and I've only just got myself into it. I joined Slimming World and have lost a stone now just through eating better. I still eat chocolate just not every day.

You can do it!!

Thanks all. Great suggestions. Have just started taking multivitamins but obviously takes a bit of time to get into your system.
LibrasJustice - I know I've got time to do it - but like I said I feel tired so can't muster the energy. Plus would never get through a whole DVD as got to stop whatever I am doing (sitting about) to see to ds every few minutes. I go to bed really early already - most nights at 9.30, but the other night at 8.30! DS only goes to bed at 7, so by the time I've made dinner, eaten it, washed the dishes, cleaned up, it's bedtime.
Part of me thinks I am so tired due to extra weight I am carrying, but think I will make appt with GP just to rule anything else out.
I know I'm the only one to get myself out of this, but was just posting to see if anyone else was in the same boat or if anyone has been and how they snapped out of it.
Don't actually intend to go and buy junk food but sometimes I'm in supermarket and feeling sorry for myself and think, oh one kitkat won't hurt!
But it's going to stop now!!

hey pinkcorsage

I bought my copy off amazon marketplace, didn't want to spend ££ on something that I may not end up doing.

Bunch of used options for sale here

It is very prescriptive in terms of telling exactly what to have each meal/ snack so could work well for you if you respond well to this sort of thing as you say

And sensibly, says that if you want to maintain, stick to detox principles 75%-80% of the time after the 28 days and do what you want the rest of the time. I have done this and as I say, the weight has stayed off. I've continued to not eat meat and wheat however and feel 100% better for it (I should mention - the detox is vegan. But sooooo filling, honestly - unless you are an avid carnivore, not sure you would miss the meat. Even my dh liked all the food and didn't miss the meat etc)

Hi there,
My DD is 10 months and was feeling like you 9 weeks ago but started running doing couch potato to 5k. Am now running - yes running! 30 minutes 3 times a week and have got the bug. Not sure about weight loss but am sure as hell feeling better for it. here Loads of suppport on this thread.

If anyone had told me 9 weeks ago that I would be able to run 30 minutes I would have laughed at them but it such an easy programme to follow. Plus the weather is getting better so is easier to get out. What time does your DP get home? I started to go out for run when he got home so that he had DC for half an hour while I got out.

Hope you don't mind me saying but reading between the lines it sounds like you are not valuing yourself and do everything for Ds? I have suffered badly with depression/PND for years and am just getting out the other side.
Exercise for me has been a godsend.

I recommend Weight Loss Resources...its £10 a month. got me from 11 to 9 stone at 2lb a week. had another baby since, still not fat. its brill. it will motivate you to exercise. i was a gym skyver all my life and ended up a runner! you can have a free trial, give it a go.

Pinkcorsage, re the junk food - it's difficult, isn't it? Wwhen you're stuck in with a baby all the time, you get into planning little treats for yourself in the day, and for me it was always a kitkat with a cuppa when DS had his lunchtime nap. I can understand that wanting to reward yourself feeling. I used to feel it more so when I was very tired when my two were babies.

Now, though, I just don't go down those aisles in the supermarket. If I have a week where I want a "treat" with my lunchtime cuppa, then I get off my arse, walk (at speed, for the exercise) to the shops, buy some ingredients and come home and make some fairy cakes or something. Doesn't happen very often, I think after a while your body just gets out of the habit of craving the junk. I do think it helps to look closely at the calorie content of individual foods that you eat too. I used to love a particular choclate dessert thing from one of the supermarkets and one day I looked at the calorie content and was horrified to see it was over 700 calories! The only time I've had one since is when I've been recovering from a virus and wanting to put weight back on after losing loads through not eating for a week etc.

BTW, I am lucky in that I''m not actually overweight, but my skin is terrible if I eat badly and I have zero energy if I don't watch my diet contains enough healthy things. Sounds like you're getting lots of sleep so unsure why you're feeling tired still. Are you drinking enough water through the day? It absolutely drains my energy levels if I'm in the slightest bit dehydrated.

BTW, 8 months after having a baby......I doubt there's many women on here who would say they felt great again at that stage of being a parent! Yes, the early horrible weeks are over, but at 8 months you are still woken at night by teething etc, and having broken sleep for nights on end does have a shitty effect on your energy levels and libido. 8 months - at that stage I was feeling like shite still, yes. Don't worry, it is normal, ignore all those celeb magazines with the unfeasibly skinny and healthy celeb mums. In fact, don't buy them. I don't. Don't forget they have nannies and spa trips to help them look good!

Did you watch Louise Redknapp on ITV this evening? All about superskinny pregnancies, v interesting. And I agree with the message the programme was trying to get across about real women -it is natural to look a bit wobbly.
There was this girl having a "Mummy Makeover" - a 9hr op - to get her pre pregnant body back just 5 months after baby was born. Bit mad IMHO. It also showed a website where real Mums post pics of what real post baby bellies look like - one of them even said she didn't know what it would look like cos all she'd seen was celeb's airbrushed / lypo'd tummies.
Wish I could find their website now.

It's an unfortunate fact of life that sitting on the sofa eating Flake bars and drinking coffee won't make you lose weight (and nor does breastfeeding, unlike the lying HV's say!) so just aim to do a teensy bit of excersise - like build it up by 5 mins a day?

Magazines are to blame anyway!! A magazine telling you how Jordan lost 6 stone by snorting ants isn't going to make you want to lose weight the same way is it????

pinkcorsage - I was just trying to give you a typed kick up the butt As that is what it sounds like you need, but I think a visit to the doctor is a good idea to rule anything else out.

It's very easy to say I'm tired, I don't have the energy, just one more kit-kat won't hurt but it's a mindset you just have to snap out of (I have an 8 month old as well btw who is not yet sleeping thru the month). You have to sit down with your DP and tell him how you are feeling, you need to explain how you need 30-45minutes a day to yourself (if that means he has to make supper and wash the dishes then so be it). In those 30-45 minutes a day (or even every other day) you need to do some exercise, exercise itself rarely will cause you to lose weight but what it does is make you feel like you want to eat healthily. Mithered posted a great link to the coach potato to 5K thread if you need a programe to follow, which I am doing myself. It got me out of exactly the same rut you were in 6 weeks ago. I have dropped 10lbs and am starting to feel like my pre-pregnancy self.

Sorry if my first post sounds harsh but you can do it you just have to talk sternly to yourself and get the support of your DP. (I am a firm believer in getting support from your other half if you want to make changes like these and any DP worth his weight will do what he can to help you.)

Thank you everyone - honestly some fantastic suggestions that I wouldn't have thought of. The couch potato-5k thing sounds great and I'm not saying I'll definitely stick to it, but I will give it a go. I think now that the evenings are lighter I will feel safer to go out - and 30 mins is not exactly a long time out of 24 hours. Plus it means I don't have to pack a bag for the gym and get there - I can just step out the door. When I get into something I am a bit competitive so if I get the bug, hopefully I will persevere.
I saw some of the Louise Redknapp thing - god she looks good. Must be awful having to do a LINGERIE shoot so soon after having ds2! Mind you - great incentive.
LibrasJustice - thank you, I did ASK for a kick up the arse didn't I! Maybe I'm just a bit sensitive because I know you are right!
I do need to speak to dh I think, as when he comes in from work, he tends to do his own thing, eat dinner and then veg in front of TV. He occasionally fills the dishwasher. He also has a go at me about losing weight which is quite unhelpful as it just makes me feel even more like shit. Makes me laugh as he's not exactly David Beckham himself...wish he was...
Anyway, am going to try the Carol V thing - not a massive fan of meat anyway - and get out in the evenings doing the couch to 5k thing. Great timing that the clocks go forward (or back?-always get so confused) this weekend.
Thank you all!

PS - Mithered, yes I do everything for DS, but am going to start doing more for myself from now on. Thank you for your good advice.

Come and join us on the 5K thread, we are all very nice and supportive! (honest )

Can someone send me a link to the 5k thread?