11 week baby, Mum fat, in despair and don't know how to dress - please help...

[LadyThompson]

I have spent my adult life being a size 10 - occasionally a 12 if I go off the rails a bit. I have always loved clothes and been interested in looking stylish and so on. I had a babe end of November, stacked on the weight a bit (um, I have over 20kg to shed) and though I am now trying to lose it, realistically this is going to take me a long time - perhaps until the end of the year. I am now a size 16, or a 14 at a pinch (my thighs are fat in comparison to my waist, though I do have a baby belly in front) and realise I am slobbing around in pyjama bottoms, jogging bottoms and the odd pair of rather unflattering maternity jeans. Everything seems to look horrid on me. What on earth can I do? I would go the skirts and dresses routes except the weight has gone mainly on my bottom half and my legs look fat. I have NO IDEA how to 'dress fat'. Are long shirts/t shirts/jumpers over jeans ok? Any bright ideas welcome

Firstly I find being aware of being overweight is the first step...get rid of your track suits etc, very bad as they are comfortable and don't help you to regain you 'holding in' stomach muscles!
Get out and get a decent pair of jeans, not loose but well fitted that will make a difference, don't get upset in the changing room, you are making the first step to looking nice which will in turn get you subconciously caring about your body again!!
I used lots of floaty tops over tighter jeans(no-one notices the 'muffin', but you are aware which I found helped me!).
Cheer up

Oh and remember 9 months on...9 months off (and a bit longer for me!).

You need fitted stuff, rather than hiding away. Also, by many peoples definition size 14/16 isn't fat, although I accept it is a real change from the norm for you. Are you bf, as this may help it go quickly?

If you have a look at the Littlewoods website they have a 'suggestions' section (TRinny and Susannah - I know; don't run a mile!). You find your body shape and then they suggest a whole load of clothes to suit it. Littlewood now have loads of fab clothes (honestly!) and do free returns that you don't have to be in the house for.

Also, perhaps doing some exercise (you may be already) will make you feel more positive and in control of your shape.

You sound similar to me. I was 10/12, put on 2 1/2 stone, so went up to 14 after dd was born...but it DID come off. Exercise is key. I walked everywhere pushing the buggy and did DVDs whilst she slept. Also went to the gym when she was happy taking ebm from DH.

Thank you. I will try Littlewoods. I am prepared to give anything a whirl. I think I am going to try M&S for jeans. I'm not breastfeeding but I spend most of the time in the country so a gym is not an option for me - I am doing a little on the rowing machine and an hour long walk every day. The fact is, nothing is going to look that good on me until I lose some weight. There's no hiding giant thighs, fat arms and legs and a jelly belly - I know that really

Get a Pilates DVD...great for the tummy. They have loads from about £3.99 on Amazon. I have heard good things about the Davina DVD as well, although don't have it myself.

Don't be sad....very few people look the same as they were 2/3 months after the baby is born, apart from a few slebs who are paid to look good....and have a nutritionist and trainer to starve and sweat them back to a size 6.

spanx spanx and again spanx

just like you i always was a size 10 and now im a 16. can't get used to dressing for my new size but spanx make the world of difference. no more baby belly bulging over waist bands.

look on the magic knicker website and figleaves.

PS: if it's any consolation (and i really don't mean this in a smug way, honestly), I am now generally slightly slimmer and lighter than I was before I had dd. It takes a while, but a combination of exercise, and then later running around after a toddler, and fitting cleaning and shopping around work have all contributed!

I am sure you will get there.

Thank you Doesn't sound smug at all. Something to aim for, really.

Good for you - realising that its not going to drop off overnight!

I'm a size 14/16 and happy with it! (I used to be a 20/22) I find, like notyummy says, that fitted clothes are much more flattering than 'fat clothes' that try and hide my shape. I always make sure that my jeans / trousers are 'generous' to avoid the mummy-tummy-hanging-over-the-waistband-thing! Low waist jeans seem best (avoids bulk under tops) and flat front trousers (ditto).Once the trouser situ is sorted the fitted tops seem to look better!!

So don't be sad. Try not to think of dressing as 'hiding' things - instead think of making the most of the way you are at the moment.......That way the pressure to loose the weight won't be quite so bad and hopefully you'll find it easier to do. Good luck

Lady Thompson - you sound exactly like me about 12 months ago - and I still haven't lost the weight but I find that the most flattering things are:

Slightly above-the knee, a line or box pleated or other slightly flared skirt.

Long-sleeved tops - by which I mean the sleeve come right to your hads - for some reason it looks a lot better!

V-necks and wrap tops.

Wide-leg trousers if any.

Slight heel on a longish boot.

And there's a great top in M+S which is quite plain but I always feel fab in it. I'll just go and try and find it. ... here in black

Oh and boysarelikedogs rates these. She started a thread on them saying that they make your bum look tiny and loads of people thought they were great and help the tummy too. I've left the country so haven't bought them.

Do not 'dress fat' by trying to disguise it in big floaty long things. It'll look worse, you'll feel rubbish. A tried and tested outfit round these parts is:

A-line dark denim skirt
Boots (if your legs are bigger)
Bright/ patterned/ whatever tights
Scoop necked T-shirts under colourful cardigans
No Beige or Grey allowed

I used to look at my daughter, always dressed in gorgeous things, and think- why has she got nice bright colours and I am lolling around in hideous sacks.

Re. losing weight, you only had a baby in November! It sounds like it is making you really miserable but I wonder if you shouldn't give yourself a break? There are worse things to worry about honestly; your body is doing what comes naturally, I think. It will drop off anyway, or at least it did for me, when I just stopped eating rubbish and got more active spending less time on the sofa feeding a LO, TBH. Normal service now resumed!