I'm a disaster area. Please help me!

[EsmeWeatherwax]

Ok, I'm looking to all you stylishly gifted mumsnetters for advice. I am, basically, a cowp. I'm 36, a faded rock chick with dull dry flaky skin, unplucked brows. Long-ish curly hair, currently with an inch or two of gray roots, as I can't afford the hairdresser. I'm six foot tall, and roughly a size 18, pretty much in proportion top and bottom half size wise. Big tummy though. Well, am very pregnant at the minute, but had big tummy before too. I have major problems getting trousers to fit, since am not only long-legged, but very long torso-ed, so am extremely prone to gaping midriffs, and trousers that fall down a lot. Although I do try to buy longer tops!

I want to change my image a bit, well, completely! I suppose you could call it growing up a bit, since I have been dressing like your average heavy metal fan since I was 16! Think I'm a bit long in the tooth, not to mention wide in the arse for such shenanigans now. So how does one get stylish. How do you wear colours that are not black, purple or red? How does one get glowing skin, and emerge from the house perfectly, or even semi-perfectly made up in the mornings? I figure if I can at least get the skin and hair thing right before baba no.2 comes along, I can work on the body and clothes afterwards...

Well if you find out please let me know. I suspect I am now following the teachings of the compost heap school of grooming .

Do you have any sort of skincare "regime" at the moment ? Is the budget as little as possible ? Have you considered dyeing your hair at home ? Some of the kits are quite good now and easy to use.

I've been to that school...honours graduate in fact!

Only skincare regime at the moment is to moisturise morning and evening, otherwise when I smiled my whole face would crack like an eggshell.

I used to dye my hair at home, but it was getting very overprocessed. At the minute the problem is bending over the bath to rinse it for the requisite four hours, as I have good old SPD and a bad back. I should really make the effort though, I guess!

Sorry - realise that was just a stream of questions and not actually any advice/help !

My skin glows a bit... sometimes.... I use an exfoliating wash and then moisturise day and night. The creams from Aldi are £1.99 each and are actually pretty good. In terms of facial wash, I tend to use whatever is on offer in the supermarket.

Drinking lots of water and getting a decent diet also helps lots

Definitely recommend Tweezerman tweezers for eyebrows. if they're an absolute disaster area. it might be worth getting them done professional first and then just keeping on top of them with tweezers once they're done. A couple of minutes once a week after a shower works for me.

Hair - dye at home and get a trim at hairdresser once every couple of months

Clothes - consider a personal shopping session at somewhere like Debenhams or John Lewis. You don't have to buy anything and the ones I have had have been really good and they're not at all pushy. It just gives you chance to have someone pick things out for you that you wouldn't chose yourself (whilst you sit there with a magazine and a cup of coffee whilst they run around for you ).

Agree that now is the time for grooming rather than investing in clothes.

First of all, you need to have a bath and hairwash every single morning. And while you are in the bath, you need to exfoliate all over with a friction mitt and a little moisturising bath gel (Dove or Johnson & Johnson are both fine).

Wash your face with a clean flannel and some Dove soap, scrubbing gently to exfoliate. Rub your feet with a synthetic pumice stone. Scrub at your nails with some soap and a nailbrush. Do everything, in fact, to get rid of old, dead skin and dirt.

After the bath you need to moisturise all over^. Vaseline Intensive Care is fine for the body, though you should use a specialist hand and foot cream (Flexitol is much beloved for MNetters feet).

As far as hair (both wanted and unwanted) is concerned, invest in a proper waxing treatment at a salon - whole leg, underarms and bikini line as a an absolute minimum - and a eyebrow shape if you think you really need it.

Sorry - forgot to say that you should use a make-up remover every night and a good moisturiser. And buy an electric toothbrush and some Elgydium toothpaste, which is the best whitening treatment for teeth that I know.

Sorry x posted ! I always found the Nice and Easy dye the "gentlest" (and hair dresser agrees). I just shower it off standing in the shower - it buggers up any bathmat you might have left down, but it doesn't stain your body or anything

Tbh - my skin was awful when pg though . Getting a flannel wet with really hot water and putting it on your face and then applying the moisturiser whilst you skin is still damp seems to help with dryness a bit

Bath and hair wash every morning, BA?

Surely that doesn't do your skin/hair much good? OTT in my opinion (but then I am also from the cowpat school of grooming)

Think I have a friction mitt somewhere... I really can't do soap, my skin isn't particularly sensitive, but soap makes it feel as if its been attacked with acid. (Am allergic to dove and Olay everything, unfortunately, but nothing else.) Is flexitol that good? My feet are really unmentionable, actually makes me feel ill to look at them, very very dry and cracked.

Ooh - and in terms of really "strong' hair conditioner, I have recently discovered that Boots sell tubes of the conditioners that come with home hair colours. They're really great for a once a week deep conditioning treatment

Then you need to buy a good dermatological product - try Trixéra bath products and body moisturiser by Avène - they are truly excellent for very dry skin.

If your feet are really dry, soak them for a good half hour before grating off the hard skin and rubbing them smoothe, and then soak them in Flexitol, put socks on and leave overnight. Repeat until they are baby soft.

Contary to popular belief, daily baths hydrate and don't dehydrate (providing you use products adapted to your skin type).

how about trying oatmeal in your bath?

Bonsoiranna is right, just don't have the bath too hot. Very hot water dehydrates skin...

oatmeal is great. Rock salt mixed with olive oil is a brilliant home made exfoliator as well

Aveeno do an oatmeal body lotion and shower oil which is amazing. It's not cheap but it lasts for ages.
If you have problems with allergies to high street brands then talk to your GP. They may prescribe you Aveeno, or some E45 which is also good if you are very very dry. Oilatum in your bath is something else to try.

Flexitol is amazing, once you've sorted your feet out then using it every other day is enough to keep them looking fab.

Other than that - a tube of handcream at each sink is a must, as is all the scrubbing etc as described by BA.

How do you do oatmeal in the bath? Is it a case of tying it up in a muslin and letting the water run through it?

Alibaba, I'm not allergic to most high street brands, actually mostly use Garnier moisturisers, just Dove and Olay. Will go get some flexitol this week. I have used Aveeno face cream before and I really liked it actually, had forgotten about it. Maybe will try their body stuff too. Have also pinched dd's Oilatum occasionally for use in the bath but tbh hate the feeling of being coated in oil when you come out, would rather use a good moisturiser.

Tillyscoutmum, how often would you recommend olive oil/rock salt scrub?

Do you think body brushing would help with exfoliating skin? I bought one a year or so ago and have never used it...

body brushing is more for circulation but it can't do any harm to dry skin brush before you have your oatmeal bath etc (putting in a muslin is less messy than just putting it in loose - but you can do either). I do rock salt scrub about once a week. I have a "pamper" day and do dry brush, salt scrub, deep condition, body moisturise, face pack, foot scrub, eyebrows, hair removal, mini manicure/pedicure etc. It seems like a PITA but I actually look forward to it now

Body brushing does not have the same purpose as using a friction mitt in the bath - that is about exfoliation, which, as we all know , is the removal of dead skins cells and build up of dry skin.

Once you have removed dead skin (and dirt and sebum), moisturiser works far better.

First I would say, scrape together the money for highlights and have your hair cut into a style that needs virtually no attention at all. Getting hair right is half the job. Roots undo any good work you do anywhere else.

My budget glow tip is Vaseline and lots of it. Hands, eyes, night time, mascara remover, lips all day repeatedly.

And what everyone says about skin, except I would invest in a really good SPF foundation too.

If you've got the hair and skin as right as poss then all you need is mascara and Vaseline on the lips to look fresh.

Obviously that's not a glamour look! am not stylish in the least btw but it's MANAGEABLE for your transition period before you become Liz Hurley.

Simple clothes but make sure they fit. Go out and buy a lot of white stuff. And then buy those linen flannels for the shoulders and baby wipes all the time in your bag for your clothes not the baby.

I hate the thing of dressing in vomit coloured clothes in case a baby vomits on you.

except baby vomit is white but I know what I mean anyway