OK need help finding myself again

[lovesmenot]

I need help, my relationship is very rocky, DH wants "me" back, but I have kind of lost track who that is..

I used to wear surfy style clothes, trainers etc
But now tend to wear mum clothes and have begun to wear a lot of Boden and Next clothes.

This has happened over a period of 4 years since I had DD, lost my style during PG and never really found it again.

I am 35+ ,size 10,32C , 5'6'', pear shaped.

I have small features and short/long pixie style blond hair.

Where can I find stuff that is the real me, but doesn't look like I am mutton, trying too hard.

BTW I do agree with DH that I have chosen to change to my look passively but because I want to blend in IYSWIM

I have a budget of £200

personally, I love New Look, not too young and trendy (mutton/lamb!) and not too old (Gran lookaklike) and they are cheap. And do fab accessories, as do Primark.

How about White Stuff and Fat Face - a bit more like the stuff you used to wear, by the sounds of it.

Also joe browns although I haven't been impressed with the knitwear the dresses/tunic tops are fab

Nothing wrong with selected Boden IMHO. But I think Next can be a bit 'nothingy' (sorry)

It's all down to taste and what you feel happy in though.

Can you organise a day without DD to go shopping and browsing and just 'soak in' all that's in the shops at the moment? Take plenty of coffee breaks and reflect on what you saw and liked.

Go and try on and treat yourself to a few key looks that caught your eye?

Don't feel you have to dress exactly as you did when you were younger. You sound as if you have a 'young and fun' style, what with your hair style though, maybe some 'funky' accessories from the surf type places, over a plainer top for instance, would be good, while adapting your former look? HTH.

Thanks for the links, and suggestions

I think you are Mrsseanbean, I loved what I used to wear, but feels it needs a little twist to make it more grown up.

Great Plains also good (though not much in the sale), bit like White Stuff but perhaps bit more sophisticated.
www.greatplains.co.uk/
Can you start by adding some fun accessories such as necklaces and scarves to what you are wearing now, to make you feel more glam/funky?
SOme pretty hair accessories might be nice too, try Accessorize...

Do you like Bench?

You sound like you have a good figure so I don't think you sound like you need to age your old look too much. Would this sort of outfit be you?

Skirt - longer than it looks btw!

T Shirt

Bright colour on top will balance your pear shape.

Cardi - horizontal stripes again good for balance

With black opaque tights and uggs! Obviously you may hate those colours etc but I think that is a good look providing you don't go for skirts that are too short and it is still feminine and sexy.

Oh Lovesmenot, I so know where you are coming from on this. I have spent the last few years dithering around with clothes, not knowing what suits, what I like, feeling like I am really choosing to fit in rather than be myself, constantly shopping and yet still feeling like I've nothing to wear. This year, I resolved to say "sod it" and buy what I like - which is a mixture of classic a la Audrey Hepburn/50's chic for most days, and wearing either surfer-girl look or funky Topshop Mama (skinny jeans, funky top & scarf) for my dress down days. I basically started again and am never stuck in front of the closet now with "nothing to wear".

I would say Fat Face, H&M and Topshop are all good places to start.

Agree with Mrs SB about plain tops with more funky accessories.

I also layer up shorter dresses with a long-sleeved t-shirt beneath and a pair of jeans. Means you get more wear out of your summer wear .

You could try a t-shirt with a neat little cardigan and boyfriend jeans and converse. Put on a few bracelets and a necklace to dress it up a bit.

Really love White stuff and Fat Face but £200 won't get you that much in those stores - a couple of pairs of trousers/skirts and two or three tops if that. Might be worth getting a couple of key bits there and going to Top Shop, M&S etc for cheaper basics to go with them. Just bought a couple of Marmie Fat Face cardigans for £29.50 each as basics to go with jeans, tshirts and boots which isn't too bad for Fat Face.

I also love Great Plains and Kew by Jigsaw. M&S limited collection and autograph can be really nice too but I don't go near Per Una! Also Debenhams do personal shopping - could you maybe go to one of their bigger stores and let them dress you on that budget?

One thought from me, although not about particular shops. In the last five years I've done a lot of work overseas, in countries where the trendiness factor is a lot different to here.

I like to think of myself as fashionable - even that dreaded phrase 'fashion forward'. But each time I arrived back here after a several month stint abroad I found if I bought any new clothes immediately I somehow got the look wrong and didn't feel cool. So I got into the habit of waiting a month or so, plus soaking up a lot of copies of Grazia magazine, Vogue etc in the meantime, to get me back on track.

So my suggestion is to have a look in Grazia, or if you are more surfy some online indie fashion site or shop to see what they are showing in their catalogues eg Howies. I'm not suggesting you have to buy the £2K handbags Grazia or other mags are so fond of BTW - just that the mags or online can give you some ideas for a contemporary 'look'.

HTH, MrsB

Why don't you book a personal shopper appointment at Top Shop? That budget will go a LONG way there, although you're under no obligation to buy anything. Their personal shoppers are very good and helpful.

Blacks have started doing a lot of nice surfy brands now, sounds like I wear similar stuff to what you used to and I have found some nice things there; prices vary, some is quite expensive but other things reasonable. I generally wear surfy t-shirts and fleeces from places like that, with jeans from Topshop, Miss Selfridge etc. which are not too expensive.
Now if only I could find a work look that I'm comfortable in and that doesn't need too much thinking about in the morning!

What do you want "you" to look like. You mention you used to wear surf stuff, but is that what you want to wear now? Or is this what your DH wants you to wear? Worth considering, I think.