Being forty SUCKS big time. Contemplating drastic overhaul. HAIR and SKIN help needed

[Oovavu]

I wasn't worried about hitting 40 at all but now I'm it and have been for 6 months I am sooooooooo pissed off with what looks back at me in the mirror.

I've always had a very positive body and self-image, always been happy and healthy. But for the past week I've had a flu-ey type bug and I have absolutely no energy and I look like a bag-o-shite.

I'm not one of the people who says that all the time, btw... I just feel really baggish, wrinkly and frumpy .

Dh is lovely and always compliments me, but I can't shake off this horrible grey cloud of feeling old.

My hair is the starting point I think - I want something trendy but manageable. Suggest some good cuts for someone with an oblongish face (god I sound like Spongebob) - maybe a cross between Fern Britton and Caroline Quentin if you need to visualise, so I need to be careful round the chin, which can look a bit jowly. My hair's in a longish layered bob at the moment tbut I think it's weighing my features down. I need ideas to take to the salon next week.

and I need tips on skin and feeling better. haven't been able to exercise since I've been ill but I do a bit of running and badminton. I use No7 protect and perfect at the moment, although dh bought me the night cream and eye cream for xmas and i've got a dry patch under one eye now and I actually got 2 proper yellowheaded spots this week! could that be the cream or because I've been ill?

Are you thinking major overhaul?

Laser treatment works for some people...

Other than that, a massage, good facial, lots of water, day at a spa?

you sound ok!
have just hit 40 too. but i feel ok with that. how about some hair colour? any grey yet? (sorry to ask!)

skin....i don't "take care" of mine!! never really have,but looks ok now. should start,but prob too late.

my hands are starting to look older now!! anyone know a good handcream?

I use DD's Doublebase

Yeah, hitting 40 is a bit of a shock. And the deeper you get into so-called middle age, the more shocking it is (I'm 46). In my mind, I'm still in my 20s but much wiser, which is a huge benefit. But seeing & feeling physical signs of aging is the absolute pits. Having to ask dd to read the small print on a package, for example (I'm too vain to wear specs except when reading). Seeing wrinkles around my eyes even when I'm not smiling. Feeling absolutely shattered once the dc are in bed. Grey hairs in my eyebrows. Almost the worst of all is running into people I used to go to school with & thinking, OMG, what happened!

Apart from all that depressing crap, it's totally normal to feel ancient & bag-o-shiteish in the winter & when you've been ill. Go & get your hair cut (but beware of anything to radical - been there, done that, big mistake!), maybe get some highlights put in, drink tons of water & go outside for short walks until you feel stronger.

It sounds as if you're doing all the right things- nice haircut, looking after your skin, exercising. The only other things I'd suggest is hair colour to make sure it looks glossy. eat healthily 90% of the time and no late nights. Recovering from flu or other bugs can make you feel unattractive when you're in your 20's and 30's. 40 is still young(ish) when you consider that you're probably going to live to be in your late 80's.

[groan] at the thought of being 80 at the moment: in my mind = as frumpy, wrinkled and baggish as now but X 2

cariboo - oh no I was hoping it was 'phase' I was going through and simehow I'll snap out of it in a few months' time and positively relish 'all' the advantages

I'm having the time of my life - I've never been happier. Being 40 is great, except if you identify too much with the BYTs.

If you like your hair cut, just get a trim and rather than a drastic change in colour, go for low/ high lights.

Book yourself a makeover with Bobbi Brown - they're fab and very natural looking.

Look at your existing wardrobe and chuck anything you don't wear. If you don't have the basics. I always admire women that wear statement jewellery, so I wear rather conservative clothing, but wear a statement piece such as a red coat/ chunky necklace/ large brooch.

You don't have to change that much to make a difference.

If you don't have the basics, BUY THEM (forgot to write that bit!)

I'm actually ok with my clothes, have found a "style" i am happy with. It's just my hair and face really. My face really does not need any excuse to be dragged any further south but my hair has other ideas