Need some advice please! Have slowly but surly ended up looking crap.

[Pregapuss]

Hi. I need some help! 4 years ago when I met DH I was a size 10-12 (which is my ideal weight really), girly, dressed nice, would straighten my hair etc to make it look nice, wear make up when I went out etc.

Now, I am at least a size 16 although I am 21 weeks pregnant but put on loads when pregnant with DD too. I don't ever wear make up, even if we go out for a special occasion, my hair looks awful, have had it cut once since DD was born a year ago and tie it up everyday. Don't have it coloured anymore - I used to have blonde highlights. So it is now a browy colour, but dull and lifeless. I don't even know where my hair dryer or straighteners are.

I have been looking at photos recently and recent ones i just look awful. I look so butch, mainly and plain. And tatty actually.

I need to chage something!!!

Was thinking about having my hair cut short, so it wasn't so much to handle and I couldn't tie it up? But I have a kink thing at the front at the top so I am always worried about getting new hairstyles in case it goes wrong with that.

I don't have any money to spare really but just need some ways of getting some womaness back into me!! I am only 21 too!!

Unless you have elfin features I wouldn't go for a short haircut - maybe some highlights though (you can do them yourself with a kit) and putting it up can look really good - use a nice clip or one of those 'puffy ponies' from Claire's accessories so it looks like it has volume.

I just got my hair cut short. It made the world of difference, I feel younger, fresher and just generally more energised.

Also, I started using clinique barely make-up, its like tinted moisturiser, just slap a bit of that on in the morning, it is less hassle than having to make yourself up which is time consuming with a lo and another one on the way. That and a bit of lipgloss, seriously you will feel soooooo much better.

Rather than a big change like short hair why don't you try, just doing what you used to do. I always make a big hair change when pregnant and then hate it.
You could find a hairdressers that trains sudents and get cheaper highlights. Have a look on ebay for maternity clothes, topshop ones are great if your young. A good pair of ghd will straighten hair your hair in mins so no excuse.

Make-up can be so easy too - those mineral powders are fab for your skin - search lilly lolo - a swirl of powder, a swirl of blush and you will look great - 30 seconds

add a lip gloss that you always carry with you and you are back to being a hot chick.

And spray a lovely perfume on - really lifts your spirits

agree with pavlov, tis small things you need to do and slowly but surely make yourself happy with yourself again.
have a bath and scrub and moisturise all over after. E45 emolient bath is v moisturising, so i scrub while bathing in that and the skip the moisturising.
find the straigtners - are they ghd's? they really are immensely easier to use than any others ive tried. takes a couple of secs to make yourself feel so much better.
get a pot and mix 50:50 of whatever foundation you like with a moisturiser (buy tinted moisturiser next time you are buying anyway, this way is cheaper till then) then MAKE time in the morning to slap on, bit of lip balm and a quick swish of mascara (not one of those mad volumising OTT affairs, just a bit of definition)
look at benefit's benetint and theres a highlighter one too (high beam?) good for quick sort outs.
get or use a concealer for any spots.
if you can sort hair and basic make up for a bit, i'll bet you feel more in the mood for thinking any further about appearance. in the meantime, STOP berating yourself for your size, youve been making human beings; most important job in the world.

My hair is quite hard to control too, but was hoping if shorter then I could just blow dry straight after a shower and it would then be quite easy? Just very aware of the fact of doing it and having no way back!

Want to start wearing make up, but don't want it to be sudden and everybody make a big fuss as I hate that.

You are pregnant right now - definitely don't berate yourself for putting on weight - I mean it's not like your going to get thinner over the next 20 weeks

pregapus - I know what you mean by people making a fuss. I decided for drastic change as I was fed up of feeling old (and have been ill for a bit).

That is why I use the tinted foundation and lip gloss. Just enough to make me look fresh-faced, people think I look well, rather than covered in make-up, the difference is subtle but feels good.

Then, every now and then I get really really dressed up, just for the hell of it - the other day, I wore a great new short dress with black trousers, high heeled boots, lots of make-up, hair done great, perfume, earrings the works, then I went and did the weekly shopping. I felt great about myself strutting around Sainsburys on a Sunday

I wouldn't get hair cut off when preggo - that way lies the whale with a pin head look, which is never good. You know, yer one from Dilbert with the pointy head.

Instead how's about using a tinted mosituriser and then a bit of lippy / mascara. Put in highlights and put up your hair with a nice clip. try out a few things - ask a girl at the counter in Clinique to give you a few samples so you can try out a few things and have some fun with it.

Wear dark glasses - always adds a dash of glamour!

Get a few lovely scarves and stand up as tall as you can, looking straight ahead, not down - this really makes a difference.

it is difficult to keep it all together, but take it easy on yourself, as nappies said, your job has been very important and we all know those early years are a bit of a nightmare stylistically.

You'd be surprised at how little a fuss people will make if you don't actually make a fuss either - I mostly go through my day in a sleep deprived haze - other peoples' make up status is the least thing on my mind!!!

good luck

Is it safe to use those home gye kits when pregnant? Could get my sister to do it for me. Not sure if I would be better to go with a brown or a blonde?

I am not too worried about the fact I have put on weight as I know I am pregnant but it is everything else that has gone with it. There is just no girly left in my at all. Think I just need some little things to me me look a bit less scruffy!

I am 21 and feel like I am about 50!

Yes, I'm sure you can highlight your hair - don't go down to your scalp - keep the chemicals off your skin - just paint the highlights onto hair and you'll be fine.

It's very well known that everyone who has a baby has a bit of a style crisis, having two means that you've been out of the loop for a few years more again.

Be nice to yourself - of course you're a girly! having babies changes your body a lot though and it can take a few years to get back to your size and particularly shape you were before.

A lot of it has to do with hormones settling down again - and it doesn't matter how much you exercise, it takes 9 plus 1 month to grow a baby and 10 months to get back to anything like where you were before. More if you're breastfeeding.

it took my at least two years, if I'm honest before I felt in any way normal after having my DD. I wore stretchy clothes for ages and didn't bother with make up etc.

Once I walked off some of the weight and started to wear make up I felt more normal even though I was covered in Pureé, and was still wrecked from being up at night!

It takes time - so enjoy your pregnancy - try not to eat for two - research shows a chicken salad sandwich extra a day (400 calories) is all you need, and in about a year you should feel something like your old self.

hth

My DD is only 11 months too! I got pregnant when she was 6 months . And I have only just stopped BF

Well you are carrying a precious life and all those hormones are not great at making you feel good so can quite understand. I would go for a nice haircut, get a few nice maternity tops and some accessories and enjoy the pregnancy, then as zazen says the time will come when you are post baby and then you can start thinking about it, no really isn't the time to worry and a few simple inexpensive things will make all the difference.

One word of advice. DO NOT cut your hair while pregnant! You will regret it.

Most mortals look crap when pregnant. Don't try to diet now.

Another vote for highlights. Also sort through your make-up, chuck out anything manky, and have a 'me-time' evening'.

PS - you probably don't lok half as bad as you think you do x

My hair changed completely when I was pregnant, and didn't take colour well so beware. Have you got a decent size dept store near you that you could go to - try one of their make up counters where they do it for you - which might make you feel better. Go shopping and ask the assistants for their help, even if you don't buy anything it'll cheer you up. Do you have a nice bunch of people in your antenatal class (if you're going to one) - maybe an evening spent doing girly things would help - difficult I know with another small one, but not impossible. It's so easy to let go of looking after yourself, but you're the numero uno here so you've got to be feeling good. Good luck.

You are still young. 21 is a great age to be pregnant as your body will have the potential to "bounce back" much more convincingly than an old duffer like me (30s).
Please be careful dying hair when pregnant. I did mine with the same kit I always do it and total disaster. It reacted funny and only half dyed it. I had to get my hairdressing friend round late one night to sort me out. Going hot and cold just thinking about that mini crisis!!

If make up feels a little strange, what about doing your nails really nicely, or straightening your hair, new clip, maybe a nice new bright scarf to wear on cold days out etc etc.
A girly evening, like frostyfingers suggested, sounds a great idea

Cutting your hair when pregnant especially towards the end makes alot of sense as when you have a new born its quite nice to have hair that can grow a bit without you having to dash to the hairdressers.