I wanna be Gok'ed. no scratch that...I need to be Gok'ed, can anyone help?

[dandycandyjellybean]

Following chronic self esteem probs in teens and anorexia and then bulimia, in my late 20's/early 30's I really got to grips with myself, got off the whole diet/binge bandwagon, and allowed myself to eat and live without condemnation. I became about a size 22/24 but, I can honestly say that I had loads and loads of confidence and felt good about myself.

Following a tragic and early family death, i decided to take up regular exercise, and without that being the goal, I lost several dress sizes and became about a size 18. Cue loads more confidence, feeling sexy, wearing really gorgeous figure hugging clothes and feeling reallly good about myself.

Get pg, after 17 yrs of marriage, don't put on loads of weigh, in fact am slightly smaller post pg than before ~ 16+ size.

However, have terrible pnd, my hair starts to fall out bigstylie when ds is 4 months, and have to have it all cut short, (my hair was long, straight, glossy and pantene worthy). You all know about lack of sleep, overwork, stress etc, and despite the fact that I still exercise religiously and am still size 16/18, i feel old, haggard, fat, ugly and generally horrible.

Watched a Gok revisited last week, the big, butch blonde who discovered gorgeous sexy woman, and went on to be a plus size model, act and be a comedienne. And she said that she had always longed to be in a skinny body for just one day and that she could honestly say that she didn't feel like that any more........well that's how I used to feel. I used to feel sorry for my skinny friends who hated their body's and were constantly dieting, because I had accepted and come to love my curvaceous bod and wouldn't change it for the world.... how can I get that back? I want to have confidence and love myself for who I am now, not how I looked 20 years ago (this is probably an issue coz it's our 20th anniversary this year, folks used to say I was a bit of a stunna back then, sorry if I sound up myself ~ will put a pic on my profile and you can let me know!)

Please help. What can I do? We have a party on 18th October and a family meal 1st November, and I want to radiate joy and sex appeal, but more than that, I really, really want to get back to feeling confident in my own (flawed) skin, so that I can be a good role model for my son.

This article re various stylists might be of interest (yes its pricey but sounds like it would be worth it if its affordable for the OP)

www.hestherking.com/downloads/easyliving.pdf

If not then the Trinny and Susannah site (and their books) plus Gok Wan's book have info on how to work out body type and some other tips too.

www.trinnyandsusannah.com/

So, step one done, like the name change? Now, what I get rid of my 17 year old self, and put a current pic in my bra and knicks for public profile, get all you mnetters to give you honest opinions? Not quite like a 40ft photo on the town hall, but almost as good?

should be 'what about' oh, and thanks everyone for posting last night. Love the personal shopper info pannacotta, but a bit out ofthe question financially at the mo! But totally love the idea....sigh....

Agree with the advice re undergarments, from your pic it looks like you have good norkage, and a decent uplifting bra will help. So fab 'hold me in' knickers as well and you'll have a great base.

Do department stores still do make up for you? Think my local debenhams you pay £10 to have it done at one of the counters. Clinique is good as they give you skin care advice as well and usually money off if you have your make-up done and then buy a product from them.

Growing your hair can be a bit of a nightmare (I also had a lot of hairloss after dd). Maybe invest in some pretty clips and get a good colour and regular trim to keep healthy?

If you've got a bit of dosh, maybe go on a shopping spree with a couple of friends but get them to pick out things that they think would suit you. Bet you would end up trying things on you would never normally look at.

Did anybody say this already but Gok was recruiting in Heat magazine for people for some new style/beauty programme?

I wouldn't do it meself though would love the whole makeover thang (just not the telly thang)

Nicer name now.
If stylist out of the question then maybe consider personal shopper at House of Fraser/John Lewis as well as the Gok Wan and Trinny & Susannah books, one of theirs is the Body Shape book which is prob the best/most helpful.

thanks all....notice a distinct lack of replies to my idea of the pic in my bra and knicks... a step too far? Just kinda thought it was a 'tough love' way forward.

I'll just get me coat.......

Sexbomb, I've looked on your profile and there's no pic of you in bra and knickers! Get going!

After general lack of m'netter enthusiasm I decided against. If I can get 10 more 'get going' posts i'll do it! Really I will!

oh no, lost my profile when I changed my name....can I swap it, get it back? Anyone know?

I haven't read every post, but I just want to say that you have to be really honest with yourself over your weight and size- are you saying you want to be confident at a size 16? or are you saying you want to be confident at size 16 because you can't be bothered/have given up being any thinner?

If it is the former, then I think reading some of the many "raise your self-esteem " books around might help- or even working with a professional coach if you can afford that.

If you are really unhappy with your size still, then age is no excuse- you can slim down and get a amke over at any gae- just don't give up on it.

sorry if this is out of place but I haven't read all the posts.

gnd, thanks for posting, and agree with what you say; but I think in the main it's better for me not to get back on the whole diet bandwagon, coz of the eating disorder history. Was truly confident and felt good about self at higher weight than now; just want to try and get it back.

And just for the record, I have been giving it loads of thought over the last few days and thing that a lot of it is to do with accepting that I will never be like I was 20 yrs ago, but I can look as good as I can at 38, iyswim. Anymore takers for the bra and knicks pic?

I think the fact that you actually have the confidence to post a pic of yourself in your undercrackers in the t'interweb is brill!

I for one wouldn't have the nerve.

Yes- send your bra and knicks pics- but really- I am in my 50s and my figure is pretty much what it was at 21- I weigh the same but my waist is a bit after after 2 dcs.

I am not saying this to boast-really-believe me- just to prove that age is no barrier to being trim. People think I am mid 40s.

You CAN turn back the clock- honestly. If you had an eating disorder I do agree that focusing on food is maybe not the answer- but maybe if you can fit in some more exercise it would help? That way you would get fitter and slimmer without thinking about dieting.

2 down 8 to go.....
(starts to panic and thinks desperately about need to purchase undercrackers that aren't grey, baggy and look like something that Hyacinth Bucket's brother's been wearing for some years!!!)

So am off to hairdressers tomorrow to hopefully have my hideous nothingy inbetweeny growing out hair crafted into something that will see me through the final stages of growing out a very short crop. Will post piccy's when done (and when I've figured out how to get my profile back!!!) Any help welcome, with either situation!

So, have added a 'before' haircut picture (we were still in our jammies!) Will add an after later, and as you can see I figured out how to shift my profile. Oh, and have ordered some new bras and some major structural sucky in my middle region underwear this morning.

Gwan, let's see you in your pants!

3

Sexbomb - am watching this thread with interest (and still awaiting the underwear shots)

I actually liked your hair - I thought it looked very chic! My hair looks like the fairy from Crystal Tips and Alastair, having been dragged through hedge sideways. So sleek, chic, compliant hair is but a dream to me..

Love your hair in the first pic
You honestly look gorgeous already, shouldn't be hard to get them swooning over you in a new outfit!

So is that a 4 and a 5? Am just downloading 'after' pics of hair. It's a bit difficult to see, coz they're self taken dh not so good today. But, it is a really nice bob shape which will grow in nicely as things progress.....I hope....let me know what you think...I'll go back to spiky short and blonde in a heartbeat, but somehow, I think I might be disappointed if I don't give it my best shot.

just another 5 to go and it's the underwear nasty..........................................................or is that the problem?

Think your hair looks really chic, wish my hair looked as sleek as that...

thanks hun, so i'm feelin brave should I do it ya reckon?

why not, you dont seem short of bottle!