John Lewis bikini bottom shock horror - with added bonus for pedants!

[Bluestocking]

Check this out!

I'm trying not to think what the back looks like!

Not a thong back, one would hope? (would seperate the buttocks nicely. )

fuckery fuck. that's shocking. how can you get a muffin top and still be skinny.

Separate is a rat to spell, is it not?.

Is this the grammar issue, the spelling of separates? Or is Seafolly Matt, master buttock seperator (sic), the problem?

I have ordered a pair btw.

I'm wondering if the size 16 may be OK on a size 12? They are far too tight across the hips, WHY oh why would you do that to yourself? AND where is the top half - do you go topless with them?

And..... who is this Ursula Lake, of Bond fame apparently, mentioned in the description. Don't they mean Ursula Andress?

Having googled, it would seem she is a fashion stylist, am now more confused

Was she a stylist for the Bond films?
They are truly awful, in any case.

Looks like she mostly does styling for The Telegraph...hmm am now wondering at the story behind the product description - this Ursual woman was obviously on their mind

Hahahahahahaha

Just showed DP (real JL company man) and he said "It's a spoof! It's not real! They WOULDN'T put that out!!"

He whipped my laptop away and got straight onto customer services who agreed it was a disaster and said they would do something about it tomorrow.

So we can keep sniggering until then

DP mortified that HIS company is the laughing stock of MN

Wheresthehamster, is that for real?! V funny. I'll be devestated if they withdraw them from the website.

I keep clicking back on the link for a laugh...'inspired in parts...' ROFL

There aren't many left though girls, get yer orders in!

and what is the symbolism of the dangly bits which bisect her bits.

I'm finding this quite upsetting actually [gran]

I read this thread this morning and then found myself in JL swimwear this afternoon (legitimately - I wanted to buy something!). I SAW these, there were several of them on the rack and I SNIGGERED at them!
He he

The swimwear was all completely RANK though, truly awful. Tell that to the JL husband... SACK THE SWIMWEAR BUYER!

Have passed the message on

JEEEZUS H FUCKING KERRRIST!

they are making the model look deformed and fat!

WHO PASSED THIS FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION!

HURRAH FOR WHERESTHEHAMSTER'S DH! JL have changed the product information and the "these one's" has been corrected. (But SEPERATES is still there ).

Message withdrawn

Let's hope a picture change is in the pipeline. How could they still leave 'seperates' in twice though?

Hi WheresTheHamster! I must say, I was quite upset to find this horror on darling JonnyLooLoo's website. The new text isn't a great improvement - "looking a little Bond girl"?
I envisage Seafolly Matt looking like mid-career Tom Selleck - luxuriant body hair and moustache, and likes to relax in a very short silk dressing gown with a dragon embroidered on the back. RRRrroowwwWWW!

I really am ashamed of myself for paying enough attention to make the connection ...

but don't you think that those quite quite vile short-things are actually the alternative-bottom version of the bikini ...

that everyone lathered over on Helen Mirren?

Dp still upset. He specifically mentioned all the errors, the horror picture and told them to get rid of 'ones' altogether. He's a real stickler for correct grammar and finding this really offensive

Something is really rotten in the state of JonnyLoLoo's; This is not how you spell culottes.
Plus whoever styled the underwear doesn't seem to be aware that you wear your knickers over your suspender belt, or you have to take the whole lot off to have a wee.

And as if those were even culottes - taxonomic heresy TOO.

Culottes actually being swishy divided skirt-o-things, which look glamorous on French women accessorised with tortoiseshell bracelets OR a bit misguided (in navy) on hefty home counties gardeners.

And not pants. Honestly. Really.

You're right, Bink! Plus it occurs to me that the main reason that HM the Bikini Queen still looks so fab in a bikiki is because .... she hasn't wrecked her figure being pregnant and breastfeeding! Will this kick off now?