Can never have casual hair - always has to be 'done'. What to do?

[Doyoulikedebt]

Hard one to explain but I've always had really thin hair that's see through & breaks easy so rarely grows to a decent length. It means I tie it up every day but by doing so it makes me look quite 'done' if that makes sense.
For example, at work I wear quite smart trendy outfits (least I'd say so!) but a scraggly loose ponytail doesn't match so I end up doing a bun - instantly creating a smart vibe that I don't particularly want. When at the kids football, I end up having to scrap the hair back all slick as the broken fly aways look awful in the wind but then it looks too much for a hoodie & muddy trainers.

It was always like this when I went out clubbing, friends would have curly or straight hair worn down whereas I'd have mine pinned back. My friend would wear big puffy dresses with her curly hair & all would be in proportion but whatever I wore would have to go with my pea head!

I'm just finding it's either aging me or requiring far more work, like having to put make up on to balance it all out. And more recently I've realised that certain outfits can't be worn as I look too much or too dressed up. Not doing my hair at all means the opposite.

I'm not sure what I'm getting at, just wondering if others understand? Do you find the hair makes an outfit or look?

Can you wear a hat, no good for work obvs, but for kids football/ out and about a baseball cap / cute beanie in winter hides all kinds of hair issues!

I’ve never looked at someone and thought that their hair looks too “done” for their outfit in any circumstances 🤔 also; so what? if you really want to look casual go out in a bonnet 🤷🏽‍♀️ someone has suggested sleeping in one anyway so just leave it on 🤷🏽‍♀️

@Doyoulikedebt sounds like you have similar hair to me. Fine & thin. If you’ve lost hair at the temples it could be from wearing it up / pulling it tight.
I used to have longer hair & wore it up all the time, because it was too thin & straggly to wear down. So I know exactly what you mean. About a year ago I chopped it off, to a jaw length bob. It looks so much better.
I never air dry it, it looks shit. I always use thickening mousse. And voluminising powder. And then volume dry shampoo is also good too, for good measure!

this is a photo from summer & I can't really go shorter. I also would struggle with half up half down due to how little hair there is!
This is freshly washed & brushed but once left for a while would go straggly. Wanted to wear heels & a dress this night but the hair didn't get the memo & gave 'child dressing up in mums shoes' vibes!

I can’t see the photo

Hair loss around the temples, as well as breakage, is typically caused by pulling hair back tightly.

Traction Alopecia: Constant pulling from tight hairstyles—such as high ponytails, tight buns, braids, weaves, or heavy hair extensions—puts severe mechanical tension on the delicate follicles around the temples and front hairline.

I'd recommend a 6-12 month break from tight hairstyles with hair bands.

I've got fine, thick, curly hair. Had a hairdresser tell me it would never grow past my shoulders as it would break due to the fineness. Once I discovered hair oil, it's grown a lot - past mid back. I avoid tight ties and hair ties with seams or metal in them. If you need to tie hair back use bobby pins to do a french roll. You won't have the tightness or cutting from hair bands. Find a quality hair oil - not coconut oil, a proper hair oil. It can take a little to find the best one. Use sparingly. A little goes a long way.

Not sure the photo has uploaded yet but I have fine hair as well, even more so now I’m in peri. What seems to be really helping mine at the moment is Biotin tablets (I’m taking the nutrageeks one), I wash it less, less heat styling (still have to use it a bit as mine looks awful air dried) and I’ve started using a keratin treatment (££ but it has made it less frizzy and more shiny).

I would look for a stylist who is interested in making the most of thin hair and ask for a fabulous short cut.

I suspect youre actually causing the issue by scraping your hair back - thatcwikl definitely cause breakage

I personally think youre massively overthinking. Wear what you want, wear your hair how you want, I promise you no one else is thinking about it.

I like the scraped back hair in a short ponytail or bun look. I wouldn’t have thought it was ‘done’, more just neat and tidy and practical. I see plenty of younger women with it going to the gym or on the school run. I suppose it depends on what you are wearing too.

I can’t wear the style as I don’t have the hairline and you can see my roots!

I think you need a really good cut so you can wear your hair down rather than scraping it back as that will definitely be worsening the problem. It would be worth researching hairdressers to find one that can help you find a style that works

I totally get you. I have always had fine hair and it's a nightmare to work with. Looks straggly left down even if it's just been washed. Looks like rats tails as soon as I go outside so I end up putting it in a ponytail. Dry shampoo seems to thicken the top with a little bit of back combing. I'm not a fan of the half up/half down look because it just highlights how thin it is and with the messy bun you have to have hair to work with! It's so frustrating. Honestly I've resorted to extensions a lot of the time because hair boosts my confidence but I feel high maintenance when I really don't want to be 😂

Yeah scraping it back might be contributing.
Are you air drying currently?

What do headmistresses look like? I don't understand.
The vitamin supplement, like Floradix is a good idea.