Have hormones changed my fashion choices?

[outdamnhot]

I am early 50s. In this hot weather I am wearing loose, cool, floaty dresses that cover my shoulders and upper arms. Its great, love it.

When I pass younger women in tight little tops and shorts, I think, ' that looks hot.' But then I remember that is how I used to dress.

Its not embarrassment about my body. I am pleased with how my body is and would be happy to wear a tight strappy top aesthetically, I just don't want to.

Its made me think that my hormones were probably influencing my clothing choices as a young woman more than I realised - to attract men.

Now I'm menopausal, I don't have such a drive and I'm happy to cover to protect myself from the sun, and wear loose clothing to keep air circulation to keep me cooler.

Just a thought.

In my 20s, I was all for showing my bum, legs, my arms, etc, because a) it was a bit the done deal in summer for people my age, and b) somewhat I guess I wanted to look "attractive"

Do you think women who don't show bums and legs are unattractive?

Personally think "showing your bum" is the sign of a simple lass and not in the good way

Agree, particularly about the use of the word "modest" in this context. To me it leaves a nasty taste in the mouth.

Absolutely not, I don't even get how you can get to that conclusion.

I should have said "appealing to the male gaze" maybe but I'm sure you're going to manage to be offended anyway.

Is dressing that way designed to appeal to the male gaze? Posters often get offended at the suggestion they dress for the male gaze.

I think young women like to look good to other people in general, including to potential mates, it's not exactly breaking news.

And I don't know what you mean by "dress that way".
Personally I was just wearing shorts or mini-skirts and tank tops, nothing very original there.

Only reason at 51 I choose loose stuff is because I can’t stop sweating, and if I put on a sexy tight vests within seconds there will be big underboob patches and back patches! My termostat is totally broken.

Not sure why you don't know what I meant by "dress that way" I was referring back to what you said yourself as how you dressed,

In my 20s, I was all for showing my bum, legs, my arms, etc

Are you saying if "young women like to look good to other people in general, including to potential mates" that it means dressing the way you did?

Is it controversial now to say some people flash the flesh to attract the opposite sex? One of my friends got a boob job in her early 20s and those bad boys were out all the time. So what?

Is it just experience of overheating and sunburn? Knowledge of the skin cancer risks become realer as we age. Personally as a very pale person Ive always gone to floaty loose route, as I need coverage.

When I was younger I wore short skirts. Now I’m older I wear short skirts. I just prefer them. I never really wore shorts before, but having young children I find them easier as I’m more active. They’re still very short though!!

Yes! This is also true! When I take my dress off, in this heat, it’s wet at the back, all my upper back is sweating into the dress! If I wasn’t wearing patterned fabric, I’d look as if I’m at the gym! Urgh. Thermostat up the creek.

The way I dressed was like a lot of 20yo in Paris in the 2000s, really I don't get what you want me to say. And yes I was young and lovely and wanted a bit of attention so a strategy was to show a bit of skin, call the police

Why are you going in so hard on PP? There's nothing wrong with what she said. She even put "attractive" in inverted commas, it's clear what she means and it's absolutely on topic (unlike your posts). Back off.

No not really, it just seems like your current preference.

Floaty fabrics sometimes irritate me in the heat more than shorts and a vest top.

Nothing hormonal or age related about it.

I think for me there's is something about hormones at play. Towards the end of my 40s, I hit a wall at some point. All the fitted stuff made me feel trapped. It still fitted. I still liked the way it looked, but it felt so constraining. That shift was sudden. I can't ever imagine a time when I go back to that.

Are you saying if "young women like to look good to other people in general, including to potential mates" that it means dressing the way you did?

I think its fairly obvious that young women showing off the shape of their arse, breasts, hips and waist is clearly going to be attractive to men.

In fact I have just remembered that as a young woman I suddenly started to attract men when I ditched the oversized clothes, and changed to clothes that showed off my body (and got a haircut).

I really want to look nice/appealing to my dh/generally attractive. But when that conflicts with being comfortable, I find I'm choosing comfort every time!
Im 52 and I find that I cannot stand the sensation of anything touching my skin too tightly - seams and labels are so scratchy and I can't tolerate high heels or anything other than butter soft shoes. When I was younger, I didn't care if my feet bled, so long as my shoes were beautiful!

Why wouldn’t someone in their 50s wear that!?

I replied to the OP when the thread was started- I had been wondering exactly the same thing re hormones.
its not about not needing to look attractive anymore- it’s almost, for me anyway. A want to look almost unattractive .
it’s really hard to explain- I feel that as the oestrogen lessens, so does my drive to nurture, to please others, to attract…I do want to feel strong, but not much else.
its a weird old time of life.

I think that's a load of crap, I have to say. Why would anyone actively choose to look unattractive which, by definition, means unpleasant to look at. If you just mean you want to dress as you choose or for comfort rather than as fashion dictates etc then I think that's a pretty accepted stance from older women, it's not uncommon. And before anyone jumps down my throat, it's not all older women, and it's not only older women.

I just don't think oestrogen has as much to do with it as this thread is suggesting. You've got young women in early menopause for medical reasons who still want to dress and act like young women regardless of their oestrogen levels. You've got older women on HRT who perhaps are more on the wavelength of dressing for comfort, or they've gained the confidence of life experience and dress as they please. And then you've got the Iris Apfels of the world who, oestrogen or not, will look amazing.

I'm not sure I agree OP. When I was younger I dressed differently than I do now because my body was younger, firmer and more pert and I was younger with a younger person's taste.

Now I'm in my 50s i'm still tall and slim but my body is not as firm or young as it was so I no longer wear the same clothes because they wouldn't look great and I can afford and I like something a bit more classy.

Eg. I still wear shorts shorts, but they are now more tailored rather than denim hot pants.

How i feel about men doesn't come into it.

Tbf that's probably because you're no longer young enough to carry off something like hotpants.

How ageist.

Yes, I think budget is part of it. Some younger people don't have the budget for separate dresses for hot days and just use clothes they already have.