My post weightloss clothes don't fit - and I have forgotten how to shop

[JFDIYOLO]

I need advice 🤗 I lost three stone over the last year or so, the eat less/eat better/move more way.

I'm 63, way past meno and the weight gain crept up over 16 years or so when redundancy, unemployment, peri and the uncertainty of freelancing became my reality.

I finally faced the truth, took control and lost it after several gynae operations under general anaesthetic, plus sensible thinking about my history of back, shoulder and varicose vein problems, plus difficulty hauling myself out of the bath ... And several photos and videos including me that friends posted online ... I decided NOPE and did it.

Anyway ... The problem is, none of my clothes fit. Everything is floppy, saggy, baggy and pinned. I went down a jeans size and a bra band size and so bought a few new bits, but for a long time there has been precious little money for new clothes.

Last time I bought a flurry of new clothes was 2010 when the redundancy money landed. Before that was just before leaving uni, so this has never been in my world.

I'm 5'8, 12 stone / size 16 (aiming for 14), 36D top, still quite big bum, and defined waist. I have a business and busy activities, tho not currently a full time job. I prefer natural fibres, longer skirts, upper arms covered, V necks. Summer is long dress / skirt and light top and sandals, winter jeans or thick skirt and tights, boots, fitted jersey tops & jumpers & coats.

I do like a charity shop, currently wearing my beautiful charry Jaeger ankle length grey fine wool skirt ... With an enormous safety pin to stop it falling down...

So could I ask - what you would advise? How to build a new budget capsule wardrobe from scratch that can build and grow and serve the person I am now?

Congratulation on your weight loss! What a happy problem.
I'm 58 5'8 & have lost a lot too - I'm now sz 12/14 (down from 22) - I had some old too small clothing I still liked and I got back into on the way down. But many/most items are too big.

My wardrobe is a hot mess of differnt sizes & styles, though I'm really enjoying playing with it more as I put together wearbale outfits. I still wear a size 22 dress,but I belt it. I have broad shoulders so even though I'm 50 kilos lighter some old bits are ok if they still fit well in the shoulders. I'm a sewist and I've altered a few pieces & I'm making new pieces slowly.

I have some nice dresses from This Is Unfolded, and Tallulah & Hope (now on a sabbatical but check out Vinted).

Yesterday I got a pair of cream Zara slightly elevated jeans/pants combo from a charity shop & I'm totally in love. They are cream - until recenlty I had NEVER worn cream of many light colours. DD gave me a pair of cream jeans & I loved those but they are too big, so these are the replacement. So I would recommend trying out new colours & styles and see how they feel on your body.

For inspiration on building a capsuel wardrobe I'm sure someone will be able to recommend online inspiration - lots on Insta etc to follow if you like their style, & you start to get new ideas. Take your time, buy only what you love.

Congratulations on your weight loss.

I have dropped from nearly 17st to 10st and a size 12/14 (maybe a 10 if it stretchy) I’m 5ft9 (ish) I am in the same position.

I have literally no idea what suit me anymore my entire body shape has changed, my legs at stick thin, my boobs have shrunk from a D/E to a B/C my bra size now hovers between a 32/34 - I still have a belly but it’s shrunk.

I have no idea how to dress myself so I’m going to follow

Congrats, you have done brilliantly. I am also 5'8'', and today, lots of clothes are designed for taller women, so that's a bonus.
Just a thought, but if you have some great clothes you love, like your Jaegar skirt, rather than pinning it, could you not have them altered by a reliable seamstress?
When shopping, be a bit daring, you are tall, much slimmer than you were, and an age where you don't give a toss, go for it.

Like someone else said, it's a great problem to have. 😄

When I lost weight, I went on Vinted and replaced my favourite items of clothing with the same thing in a different size. This wasn't expensive and didn't require too much decision making.
Bras are a whole other kettle of fish, especially if you are continuing to lose weight.

longer skirts, upper arms covered, V necks. Summer is long dress / skirt and light top and sandals, winter jeans or thick skirt and tights, boots, fitted jersey tops & jumpers & coats.

Congratulations on your weight loss! But surely the point is that you can now experiment with wearing a wider range of clothes?

Can’t really suggest where you might shop without a more specific budget. I can say that I’m in my mid-sixties and prioritise excellent construction in the best and most interesting fabrics I can find. I actively avoid thin High St poplins, and satin, and don’t shop in the sort of places that offer timid, dated prints in drab colours and droopy shapes.

I don’t mind spending a lot on great things, but it’s perfectly possible never to pay full shop prices - sales, outlets, pre-owned are all excellent sources.

What have you done about hair, jewellery, and accessories since your weight loss?

Well it sounds like you don't want to buy too much if you are going to continue to lose weight. You could sell your big clothes on Vinted. Personally I wouldn't get old things tailored - wave goodbye to those old memories and buy new with the proceeds. Again I wouldn't recommend buying on Vinted as sizing is so difficult and it's my personal thing but why not go to a large store eg m and s and try some things on . Try all styles of jeans. There's a whole new world of things out there for you.

Go try some stuff on, even (especially) things you think you would never wear. Your body is different now, you are different now, and it will suit different shapes to what you think.

Next is quite a good shop to try, as they have tons of different sizes and shape in things like jeans and trousers. You could go in, pick a range of 10 to start with, and try wide leg, tapered, cropped, barrel, capris, linens, skinny, straight jeans. If you wear a classic t-shirt or vest when you do it, so you can actually see the style.

Somewhere like John Lewis is great, as they've got different brands, but soon adds up.

Once you've got an idea of a shape and size, maybe start somewhere like H&M online and do a large order it's easy to return. Once you have tried a few shapes and know your sizes in certain brands/ shapes, it's a lot easier to use Vinted.

I lost 3 stone too; the Mounjaro way. Good luck finding a new wardrobe.

I've just picked up a few bits in the Damson Madder sale - they mainly use natural fibers & the pieces I've bought from there previously I love wearing.

I got 2 paid of jeans, 4 tops/shirts (I'm desperate for tops to wear with jeans & skirts), and a dress.

https://damsonmadder.com/products/malinda-ls-smocked-midi-dressred

https://damsonmadder.com/products/fliss-jeans-indigo

https://damsonmadder.com/products/peggy-smocked-cardi-blue-stripe

For years I mainly wore dresses but seem to be in more of a seperates phase now. But still, rocking a good dress is always a good feeling.

Congratulations @JFDIYOLO on the weight loss!

Can i check though - are you certain you're a size 16 at 5ft 8" & 12 stone? Are you used to wearing baggy stuff?

I ask because i am mid 50s & 5ft 9" 12 stone exactly & i'm a 12 (14 in some fabrics / labels) & often a 10 on top if its brand with 'generous' sizing

I also had a health scare & decided to have a proper look at my diet & lifestyle & i've lost over 2 stone this way & am aiming to lose 10lbs more

I have always loved clothes & am delighted i can fit back into lots of my lovely stuff again

To build a wardrobe i'd have a think about what your life looks like & start building for that. So for instance, ask yourself ideally what would you love to wear for the following activities:

day to day
working from home
work meetings with clients
Office if it applies
Trip to town for coffee with friends
Casual lunch
Supermarket / bank / dentist etc

slightly more elevated
nice lunch or brunch
Visit a gallery / museum / city exploring
Any day time event that"s a bit out of the norm
Conferences

sports / walking / outdoors
the right well fitting stuff for activities

evening
Drinks with friends
Fancier dinner
Date
Gigs / concerts / theatre
Cinema / bowling / choir (any hobby )

full on fancy
wedding
Formal event (work related awards etc)
Life events - christenings, graduations, family anniversaries

occassional
funerals
Holidays

Once you start thinking about the sorts of life you lead or would like to lead it allows you to consider if you can get dressed no matter what you need to do

Also fuguring out what sort of look you feel good in & suits your lifestyle is a great help

I tend to compartmentalise my clothes especially for work. I keep a section of stuff purely for days in the office & never wear my nicer more special stuff there

So in my case i have all of the categories covered but my weakest area is day to day & summer day to day especially as i am not so drawn to this.

I'm working now towards filling in this gap as it's been a while since i refershed my summer more casual wardrobe

Good places for basics for me are:

Me+em (sales)
COS
Zara (selectively)
M&S (v selectively)

I have bought jeans, trousers, dresses & tops mostly. Then i add lovely blouses & shirts from brands i love like

Good websites for browsing styles & 'looks' are
Ba&sh
Maje
Sandro
Essentiel antwerp
Stella Nova
Me+em

Vinted
Vinted
Vinted

Have a scooch around and see if you can find anything you like - I often have fire sales just to get rid of stuff for £1-2 for decent stuff. Find someone who’s also just gone up / down a size and it’s likely they’ll have a whole bunch up and you can pick the bits you like and offer for a bundle.

Perhaps go into a few high st shops first to work out exactly what size you are in each one to reduce the guesswork. Or I often ask people to measure the item then I use a tape measure against something similar I have that I know fits.

M&S are brilliant right now. No need to be very selective at all. They have nailed it in most areas. Cos is slightly more problematic at the moment and more expensive. Others to look at are Arket, &OtherStories (both H&M stable), Massimo Dutti (Zara) and a few Danish stores like Samsoe Samsoe and Ganni. They aren’t high street so a bit more special.

Thankyou everyone for brilliant suggestions! I have stubborn bum and it definitely wants a 16, tho my 16 jumpers would be better at a 14. I lost 3" off boobs, 5" off waist (hence the skirt problem) and 7" off hips. I wish I'd measured my legs too!

I don't have that many clothes to sell (my oh has lots more than me - he's also lost weight but still has smaller sizes in the wardrobe including most annoyingly lucky Hugo Boss / Calvin Klein charity shop finds. ..).

I try to keep my smartest stuff carefully for when I have business so I've good stuff I don't often wear. Maybe a seamstress for my nicest wool and silk skirts would be a good move.

I let quite a few bits of junk jewellery go because they didn't feel like me any more.

I belt things I didn't belt before, especially my coat which used to be fitted now moves about of its own accord but looks nice with a belt.

I'm good with skin and hair care, especially with sun protection and conditioner. Also perfume 🤗

I think I'll start from the inside out - I had a bra fitting last autumn and got a size smaller but I'm kind of thinking I may need to go down another cup size now. And the pants ... Defo need size down. So them first.

Then I think some tops that don't swim on me and aren't just t shirts.

And a definite budget ...

You could always search charity shops again if you have time! Around here you’d never find anything decent. You definitely need a budget and priorities.

Genuinely, if you have a large Sainsbury's nearby go and look in Tu. My best skirts have been from there. They use some of the same factories as high street brands such as Next.

I always think searching charity shops and Vinted must be so demoralising when you are not sure of what way you want to go.

@JFDIYOLO - I don’t think anyone need set a budget for their own shopping.

I suggested you give one here so posters would have an idea of which brands to suggest to you.

I have £500 budget to start me!!

Though I don't have a full time job my own business sees me standing up speaking in front of people in training and presentation environments. I need more of these, hence the low budget ...

I also host creative events to memberships groups, and go to theatre quite a bit.

Casual working from home / cafe quite a lot

Formal and posh events, restaurants, settings etc aren't really my world, and all the weddings are done!

Why don’t you pick out the items you currently love and get them altered? Usually a lot cheaper then buying new.

Have you ever looked at Plumo? Structural clothes in interesting fabrics - good for presenting and hosting in creative environments. They undoubtedly have a sale soon so

this dress

may well be reduced. (I’m a proponent of the ‘one good thing’ philosophy - your work from home clothes could be Uniqlo.) But look at the rest of the site (before and during the sale.)

One other thing - I would caution against keeping your ‘good things’ for too long, unworn. Unless they’re heritage grade YSL or Miyake they’ll gradually go out of fashion and you might not notice. Wear them as often as you can.

I’ve also lost some weight and it’s hard to decide whether to buy new clothes or wait as I’m not sure how much more weight I want to lose. For NHS healthy weight range could be anything between 2lb to 1 1/2 stones.

OP if you haven’t been shopping in a while be prepared to be many sizes even in the same shop - in M&S their own brand I’m 14, 12 and once 10 but also once 16. Check everything you buy as well. I bought two colours of the same trousers - 12 in one 14 the other?!

I have the odd 12 from last time I was this size (long time ago) and it’s much smaller than the same 12 now.

ETA congratulations on the weight loss

This is the last thing a person who has lost masses of weight would want to wear. 🤷‍♀️

@corblimeygvnr I agree. There’s much nicer and more flattering styles out there!

Congratulations! I’ve done similar and am now a bit addicted to Vinted. There are a couple of brands I particularly love such as AllSaints. I try stuff on in the shop and so know what size I am and what suits me in certain clothing. Although it has got to the point where I’m having to sneak my bargain purchases into the house.

Have a look at The Pin Theory online for a slightly more stylish method than safety pins so that you can continue to adjust your trousers as you go. I usually use a pair, rather than the one that their skinny models demonstrate.