Buried my head in the sand and I don’t even own heels! Help!

[Member346563]

My Step daughter is getting married in 2 months time and I’m at a loss of what to wear. I’m 60, been retired for 6 years 5’3’’ size 16 and spend my life in joggers and trainers. I’m pear shaped with a belly.

i can’t remember when I last wore a skirt let alone a dress ( at least 10 years ago) and I feel hugely Unconfident. I don’t even own a pair of heels.

whilst money isn’t an object I know I’ll probably never wear the outfit again so dont want to spend loads. I just don’t even know where to start.

its not going to be a huge fancy wedding ( thank god) but a small reception and an evening do in a barn by a river.

should I go into a shop and try some dresses on. Anyone any suggestions where I should look. I’ve been perusing the NEXT website and there’s some very nice dresses on there but not even sure if there would suit me.

It gets mentioned on here a lot, but a John Lewis personal shopper session might be perfect for you.

The thing is why do you even need a dress or heels? I would wear a nicer version of something you feel comfortable in. So if you like trousers have a look for some really lovely drapey trousers in a nice fabric. Get some fancy flats and a nice jacket and you’re good to go. Vinted or charity shops might be worth a look if you have time. TU at Sainsbury’s have some nice palazzo trousers as do M&S and next. Hope you find something nice xx

I'd also go for a JL stylist session. Mid-heels you might wear again will be fine. I usually get cheap shoes if they're only going to be used once or twice. Supermarket or Primark.

Do you live near any shops? Which ones?

Why can’t you buy something you like and that you’ll wear again?

(Am older than you, still with career goals, and intent on wearing fabulous clothes every possible day.)

As suggested above, if you prefer trousers, buy some reasonably smart trousers and wear them with a shirt or blouse and some beautiful flat shoes.

Tbh, when someone says ‘money no object’ it’s a bit disappointing to read that they’re browsing Next. 😄

Try:

https://www.net-a-porter.com/en-gb/

(Prices rise from upper High St levels, not everything is Gucci level.)

BTW I’m the same height, size 12, and find there are very few things I cannot wear (of the things I like).

Assume that you will have things altered to fit perfectly. Don’t dismiss something lovely for spurious reasons.

Kemi Telford is my go to for dresses

kemitelford.com/collections/dresses

https://kemitelford.com/products/funke-maxi-dress-elegant-black-white
I think this is fantastic

There are so many nice wide leg trousers co-ords about at the moment! Look on Karen Millen xx

If I were you, I might consider something like this shirt and trousers + a chain or embossed leather belt, all my best jewels and an embellished to the max bag and shoes. An outfit you could wear for the next decade with no effort at all.

https://www.mackintosh.com/products/womens-halls-drawstring-trousers-beige

It’s difficult when you’ve grown up poor, then spent most of your working life living paycheck to paycheck to not appreciate the value of things. It’s only been in the last few years that we’ve become very comfortably off and I still can’t get used to having money to spend hence looking at Next.

Also, we rarely go out now as my DH has medical issues and I just couldn’t justify spending an enormous amount of money on an outfit that won’t see the light of day again.

thanks for the link though, I’ll take a look

Not far from a large city. The main ladies shops are JL, Marks and Next. There are probably more high end ones but Ive they’ve never been on my radar 😂😂

If I were you, I might consider something like this shirt and trousers

That looks like pyjamas to me.

OP, what about trousers with a long tunic style top? The trousers could be quite plain, something you could wear again anywhere. Then really splash out on the tunic - something in a heavy silk? Shoes could be flat. (No-one would get me in heels whatever the occasion.)

Okay - so maybe Cos level dressy? Just look at this:

https://www.cos.com/en-gb/women/womenswear/trousers/straight-fit/product/draped-pleated-silk-straight-leg-trousers-navy-1341147002

Plus top, or not, as you prefer.

What colours do you like? Is there anyone whose style you admire?

You think you won't have occasion to wear it again but you never know what's round the corner.

I would go for something classic that won't date, then it can hang quietly in your wardrobe waiting for the next fancy occasion, even if it's years away. And you'll then always have a go-to outfit. It's worth spending money on quality that will last. Every time you wear it in the future, your cost-per-wear will reduce.

Don't wear heels to a wedding in a barn! I wouldn't (and don't) wear heels ever, even to very fancy events, but wearing them when you aren't use to them and are possibly going to be walking on earth floors or through grass is a recipe for a sprained ankle... Posh ballet-style pumps or Mary-Janes would be far more sensible.

I second the recommendation for Kemi Telford, or look at One Hundred Stars if you would like something more flowing to cover up a more rounded middle?

onehundredstars.co.uk/collections/dresses/products/giant-willow-green-obi-dress?

whilst money isn’t an object I know I’ll probably never wear the outfit again so dont want to spend loads.

I really don't understand this. It gets said so often on here. I'd never buy one off wear. If you (general you) avoid the "mother of the bride" stuff there's loads of dresses, skirts, trouser suits which can be dressed down after the event and worn, well just because you have to put on clothes when you leave the house.

I'm 5'3" and a 14, occasionally a 16. I have no difficulty finding stuff to wear.

Or if you do buy a one-off dress and are absolutely certain you will never wear it again, if it is a popular brand or designer, you can resell it on Ebay or Vinted immediately and get a good price if it is a worn-once, current style.

Yes! Have a look online and decide on a few styles you like then try them on. Take some suitable shoes into the changing room too. They can transform an outfit. Good luck!

For your shape I would look for something with a defined but high waist.

Something like this maybe?

This is very dressy without being expensive:

https://www.cos.com/en-gb/women/womenswear/tops/product/gathered-short-sleeved-cotton-top-pink-1330364001

You could pair it with a weighty pair of summer wool or linen trousers (that you probably would want to wear again).

Absolutely and a perfect example of a dress that can easily be dressed down and worn the hell out of.

I love these

https://kemitelford.com/products/commot-for-road-golden-red-dress

Probably not for a wedding but this is fabulous

https://kemitelford.com/products/the-amina-dress-heavy-dobby-edition-in-forest

Are there any dress agencies near you? You can wear something simple, get dry cleaned and resell again?
Im like you and my lifestyle and inclination mean that I rate comfort the highest but I do have flatish shoes from Gabor (they are just slightly wider than Clarks etc).
Maybe vinted is worth a look too?

Good luck 😀🤞

EDIT ps Im the same height as you but only recently identified that petite or short dresses are more flattering. Who knew! In my previous life I was swamped by floaty dresses. I learnt that shift type styles skimmed my apple shape and fitted me better.

Love the Kemi telford options although suspect some of them may be a bit much for the OP. However this is a great option which looks smart but also comfy.