Outfit for new partner's 50th

[eewwdavid]

I am having a panic attack just typing this....i jest..but I am crapping myself.
Big meal booked for significant other's birthday...first time meeting a lot of his friends. I am slightly older than him, and therefore than them. Especially so the "wives" who are a bit younger than his friends. They are quite stylish, i am not. DP is lovely and thinks I look lovely...i am in a state of abject fear.
What can I wear?!
Early 50s, slim 8/10ish zero cleavage. Not as toned as I used to be so would like to keep arms under wraps. Meal is in city restaurant will be hipster rather than formal i fear. I am clueless and would appreciate any suggestions.

@SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePleasei really don't unfortunately...that's the type of thing I'd love to have but a quality item always seems out of budget.
@Greenfingered1i love that dress and it's exactly the colour and shape I'd go for! Just a bit gulp at the price!
I'm also wondering about the weather- it's been so variable, last week I was able to crack out summer dress and sandals, today I'm back in my winter coat

I say this with utter kindness… are you perhaps confusing quality with price point?
I have a varied wardrobe with some pieces being from Max Mara/Anthro/Me+Em/Rixo etc but my favourite dark jeans that can be dressed up and last well are under £25 from F&F Tesco who currently have 25% off!

I wore them last week with Esska block heel sandals, a silk tee and this cropped jacket from phase eight that is now on sale. I had statement earrings, took my time to blow dry my hair and ensure my make up was elevated but simple.

Our friendship group ranges from 40-60 and I could only tell you everyone looked fab and had a good time but in no great detail.

Gosh, you give up easily,@eewwdavid! I told you the Outnet link was only to the new in stuff - but you ignored the rest of the site? Pages and pages of things below £100 - and that stock doesn’t start getting interesting until around page 19 or 20 if you order by ascending price.

I too have a limited amount of money to spend on clothes (and am about a hundred years older than you!) but I love every single thing in my wardrobe. It takes time and effort and knowing where to look and having the patience to sift, and to keep returning to potential sources week after week, even if you don’t have a particular event to shop for.

Regarding T K Maxx - it may be that they no longer have the ‘Gold something’ section - it was completely brilliant for a few years.

@Sesquipedahliatime is even shorter than money here! But i didn't appreciate the rest of the site would be cheaper sorry, I thought you'd directed me to the cheap bit! I will go back and look.

@SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePleaseyes I quite probably am! I just don't have a large wardrobe, and I'm not that fond of what's in it, it's mainly work clothes which I tend to get from vinted or charity shops. I do online shopping for food so don't ever really see what's in the supermarkets, altho I used to love Tu stuff when I was a bit more flush

There’s just more generally. I can’t guarantee you’ll find anything you like - but I’ve often been lucky and found something perfect, massively reduced. (I look and feel better in more expensive cuts and fabrics, so rarely bother with the High St. It’s always possible to find great clothes, whatever one’s budget. Vinted isn’t my thing but I’ve found things on Vestiaire. And in the sales.)

I saw this on another thread and think it would be perfect

Lovely hair and makeup and nice subtle jewellery

Oops (obviously ignore the shoes 🙈)

Is that a toilet brush?

Seriously. Lovely dress.

Not an obscure secret - I just find them utterly weird to wear, & did even when I was also devoid of much bust or cleavage ...! That horribly plastic semi-sticky stuff under the bra band, like rug underlay tape ...!!!

OP, if there's really nothing in your wardrobe that you can wear to this event, does the £100 budget cover everything?

Dress or top & bottom, plus shoes/bag/jewellery? And jacket??? If it covers footwear, what size are you?

Which begs the question - what have you been wearing for all your dates with your new partner so far - bearing in mind that "DP is lovely and thinks I look lovely" ...? (The most important bit of your post, btw - that's delightful!).

Also, you say you're very fair - as in soft muted colouring, or brighter (blonde/red?) hair & eyes? Do you tan/freckle or turn pink? As you said you don't mind bright colours but then said you like greens/blues/khakis? What suits you better - more intense or softer colours? As the two outfits you've liked so far - a bright scarlet dress, & a white/black/khaki combination - are very different?

@EleanorMc67thank you for replying!
So I'm very "celtic" auburny hair, easy to burn white skin.
No, £100 probably doesn't cover it..but even that would be going on the cc and I'm loathe to load up more than that.
Dates have been much more casual and no other people involved obviously! So cinema, casual meals etc. Round each other's houses. Rarely into the city as this will be, and never such a big occasion. I want to look sharp and modern and not wtf is he doing with this old bag

Yes dp is always complimentary and notices what i wear..which makes it worse, I'd rather he was oblivious!

Ah, a fellow Celtic ginger! Though I've gone from mid-auburn to more strawberry blonde with age - & have realised that the bright scarlets & mustards I used to wear up top are a bit too strong next to my hair colour these days. Which is why I'd asked more about your colouring.

I still wear them - just more mixed up/diluted on top (eg scarlet with tan, or mustard with navy), or on my bottom half. Also wearing some sludgier greens as well the emeralds that I love (& which are still good). I also wear black very happily, although always with a great red-orange lipstick & lots of mascara!

Would you wear black with other colours, or do you prefer navy/other neutrals?

(Btw I asked about your foot size in case I saw something great on Vinted/eBay - not because I have some weird fetish about a stranger's feet ...!!)

Trust me, you don't! Seventeen years in & my lovely partner rarely notices a thing I wear!

I looked at that more closely & think it's lovely! Really like the sleeve & sash details. And the little button closure detail at the back. Depends on fabric in the flesh though - but viscose/linen with a lustre to it could be really nice. But yes, the shoes ... thong-toe flip-flops & kitten heels are everywhere right now, & I hate them!

Two things though - regarding the OP's requirements. One is that the sleeves could be a faff with a normal jacket (& she may need a jacket from that £100 too?). Two is that, as one or two PPs have suggested - maybe separates would be better in the long term - as she will probably be meeting his friends again, even if it is at the pub/more casually - so versatility would be good?

@eewwdavid I buy from eBay/Vinted/sales as I'm now freelance (= skint, compared to my previous roles!). Plus - sustainability & I LOVE getting high-quality clothes for much less! I really don't find it compromises me much in terms of buying lovely clothes that fit with my own style. Though I do spend more on really great pieces that I find online. If you do think that you may need more "dressy" clothes for dinner out etc, I'd recommend a few high-street trips to check out various brands, their style & sizing - as knowing what will fit & suit you really helps with buying from eBay/Vinted etc, I find. Mistakes are not entirely unavoidable, but can certainly be very much minimised that way, I find.

@eewwdavid - before I recommend anything sensible that you can wear again without it being immediately recognised, I'm just going to post this anyway (despite it being over budget AND printed!). Because a) it's beautiful, b) it's silk, c) it's an amazing green & would suit your colouring, d) his fashionable female friends would be green (!!) with envy, & e) most of all, I want it but I'm too fat these days!!

https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/8698494067-amazing-klements-studio-dusk-dress-size-s

(I think the headband & gold ballet bootees are very definitely optional!!!)

Where is this one from please?

that you can wear again without it being immediately recognised,

Not that that matters of course. Klements Dusk dresses are amazing in real life. I've had so many compliments about mine. The best was 3 American ladies in St Mark's Square in Venice who said they'd spotted me earlier from a distance and had to say what a beautiful dress it was.

I wouldnt rule out an off the shoulder I am a 34G (hate it) but I either use a strapless bra or just drop one strap. Everytime I wear an off the shoulder with a wide jean / trouser and a funky shoe I get endless compliments. I feel covered comfy and stylish!

Its from Nobody's Child and now we know OP is a rehead im even more convinced its the dress for her! 😁
https://www.nobodyschild.com/products/nicki-mini-dress-2614663001

I just think islf the vibe is "bunch of 40 somethings in a hipster restaurant" you want something you can literally just throw on and forget about.
Also who cares if his friends see you again in the same outfit?

Thanks @Grghf

I like this one too:

https://www.nobodyschild.com/products/pink-watercolour-floral-reese-mini-dress-2614013003

Anyone else the Ops age (I'm nearly there) who just struggles with "which shoes"? Back in the 90s, this would have been heels all the way.

Oh these dresses are gorgeous!!
But yes, which shoes? And more crucially what about legs? I couldn't go bare!!

Satin midi skirt, white boxy tshirt with a blazer, kitten heels

I wouldn't go so far out of your comfort zone that you're getting stressed about shoes and leg cover. I get why this is a big deal for you, but dressing in a way you're not comfortable because you want to 'fit in' to is a recipe for feeling awkward. Ask me how I know...