Need simple make-up and hair advice for my daughter's First Communion

[Bake]

My daughter is making her First Communion in 4 weeks and I've just realised all the other mums will be getting professional hair and make up done. I stopped wearing make up years ago and have never been able to do it properly, when I did wear it, it was foundation, mainly to cover my bad skin, and a bit of mascara and eyeshadow, neither of which I think I applied properly. I might wear a different colour eyeshadow in the evening, but otherwise it was same make up for work and a night out. I'm clueless.

I'd like to make an effort on the day. I will see if I can find anyone local who could do my make up, but how does that work? I'm guessing I'd need a trial session before the day to check I'm getting something I like?

If I end up needing to do my own make up, where do I even start with tutorials and buying products etc? It feels like it could get expensive, and I work and look after my kids and elderly parents so I'm time poor too 😥

Is it worth attempting something with my hair myself too? Again I'm useless at that. I have wavy hair and probably look like I've been dragged through a hedge most days.

I'd just like to look half presentable on the day and not let my daughter down.

This is OP’s decision to make, not yours.
It’s ironic that you say women shouldn’t be swayed by the expectations of others while more or less telling her what she should and shouldn’t do 🤔

Don't be silly. So you are talking about a little girl. This is a religious ceremony not a beauty pageant. Your little girl just needs to be showered and her hair neatly styled and tied commensurate with her age.

Why are so many people getting outraged because OP wants to make more of an effort than they would themselves! Just because you chose not to do something doesn’t make another woman’s choice less valid.

Professional hair and makeup certainly wouldn’t make you an outlier at DS school, it’s an incredibly common thing for younger women especially to get their makeup done for occasions. There are at least a dozen places that offer it in our small town and they are all busy.

It’s really common to have nice family photos taken after the service and it’s fine to want to make an effort, it doesn’t make the sacrament any less valid.

It is the mother not the child getting hair and make up done. In general getting professional make up is more of a thing.

Definitely book a blow dry (not a cut and colour) for the morning.

You will not be letting your child down by wearing normal everyday clothing perhaps the same as you would if you worked in an office. You will actually look like someone for whom what first communion is about is important, not some performative show by parents, many of whom will suddenly cease attending church once their children's place at a secondary school is obtained.

Op I do hope you notified that most of the unhelpful sanctimonious replies either:
think you are talking about your dd hair and makeup
or failed to read your opening post where you are asking for guidance not permission to do your hair and makeup There is definitely a tone to these reply’s and it so so typical now of MN to judge the simplest posts

Thank you! This is really helpful and exactly the sort of thing I was hoping for! I LOL'd at the "a modern mascara…not your favorite from 20’yrsa ago" as I do have some old bits in a make up bag that have been around for years and I'm pretty sure there's some mascara in there. If I'm doing it myself I'll make sure I get a new one.

My daughter’s dress is already ironed and ready - she is due to have some photos taken in her dress soon, prior to the Communion. I'll get all the accessories together and keep them with the dress. I have a 3 year old who will also need to get ready in the morning, so will check his outfit all fits this weekend so it's one less thing to worry about.

Part of the reason I'm considering it, is for the price I'll need to pay for the products, I could probably pay someone else to do a much better job. The ceremony is at midday, so there is a bit if time in the morning, but I'll also need to get my DD8 and DS3 ready too.

Apologies again for posting and then going AWOL, but I was working and then getting the kids fed and to bed.

I appreciate the helpful replies. I have very little confidence at the best of times, so while I know I don't have to follow the other mums and attempt to keep up with them, I'd love to enjoy the day and be there for my daughter without feeling self conscious about my looks. Feel a bit less panicky than I did this morning.

Why do you think you’d be letting your daughter down? Would she even care?

Is she going for a full blown style and is she particularly fussed , or is she not that bothered? Take your cues from her, not the all (5!?) other mums.

Unless you actually want to do this for yourself… don’t bother. A nice outfit that you feel happy and comfortable in , clean, brushed hair and just your normal makeup/natural will be more than fine.

Is this a fashion runway show? Am I missing something? Does religion come into it? I thought it was all about dressing in white and looking demure! I cannot get on board with ostentation at all.

Some of the girls DD did her FC with wore actual (modified) wedding dresses! 😬

This thread isn’t about the child.
The mothers don’t wear white 😁

Not sure if you have a DP or DH but if you do OP assign DS to him for dressing that day. Often Its easier for a man to dress a son and DS can enjoy the attention while you get dd and yourself ready.

MN won’t like it but when helping my cousins dc get ready for first communion I stood them on chairs in the kitchen while I got each one fully ready and made sure tights were pulled up snugly/ shoes on/ veils on. The height helped and then they stood there until we were ready to load them into the car. They are teens and twenties now and do recall me getting them ready while up on a chair

Don't iron the dress in the morning in case you scorch it!!

I'd go to Trinny London or Bobbie Brown in a department store for natural looking makeup. Certainly Trinny's style is to put it all on very quickly just to give you a glow and make one's eyes a bit brighter...ie no skill necessarily required
Hope the sun shines for your daughter's FHC

When my mother married in the 60s, back then (& into the 70s, or maybe even later I believe), it was traditionally expected in Ireland that you would donate your wedding gown to the local convent, where the nuns would remake them into priests' vestments ...!!!

So that's what happened to her beautiful (& for then very modern) silk shift dress & coat. She didn't want to give them away, but my granny (who was very devout) had the last word ... the photographs remain though.

OP - do you have a friend or relative, or even a work colleague, whose make-up you admire & looks natural & low-key? As they may be quite flattered to be asked for advice?

Booking an appointment at somewhere known for natural-looking make-up, such as Bobbi Brown, is a good idea. You will quite probably be persuaded into buying some products afterwards though?

Whereas, if you've got a friend who's really good with make-up, she might be very happy to spend a couple of hours in Boots looking at the cheaper ranges with you & helping you test & select a few basics? And maybe showing you how to apply things in advance, or even that morning?

The quality of cheaper brands can be really good - I'm not a make-up snob & use a mix of expensive & cheaper products, based on performance (though I'm a complete fool when it comes to beautiful packaging, especially lipsticks!). I would suggest e.l.f & NYX as good counters to look at for decent-quality but affordable products.

These kinds of thing - getting make up done - are much more common now than they used to be. There was someone dressing up a goth dress on here the other day for the same event so why not a bit of makeup ? 😂

I've just searched for "best low budget make up ranges uk" & this might be a start.

Is your skin ok now, OP? As, if so, I think you will need very little. You just want to feel like you but spruced up - not worrying about lipstick on your teeth, or false eyelashes dropping off mid-communion ...

I'd suggest:

SKIN:

• a tinted moisturiser/really lightweight foundation (only if your skin needs the coverage though);
• concealer for under eyes/blemishes (again - only if you think so);
• pressed powder (applied lightly - if your skin is good, this may be all you need & you can skip any foundation/concealer). I really like Maybelline's Fit Me Matte & Poreless Oil Control Setting Powder (a long name for a very good face powder!).

EYES:

• mascara - I use a Max Factor waterproof one, but there'll be loads of others:
• eyeshadow - keep it really simple & foolproof (mascara may be enough). For daytime, I've swapped to one product - e.l.f. No Budge Shadow Stick in Magnetic Pull. It's a slightly satiny taupe crayon that is child's play to apply, doesn't smudge & adds some definition without looking obvious. It's better than the Bobbi Brown equivalent!
• tinted brow gel - if your brows are naturally well-shaped & even, don't bother. If they're a bit pale/thin/patchy, this will help even them out really easily - more so than using a pencil if you're not used to it. I use Benefit but NYX/e.l.f./Essence/L'Oreal all do cheaper ones. Get the lightest cool taupe shade (even if you're dark, so that you can't make mistakes!).

CHEEKS:

• blusher - if you're not used to applying this, go for a powder. Soft peachy-pinks are generally flattering for most people.

LIPS:

• lipstick - use a tinted lip balm or sheer lip tint. Maybe something like Burt's Bees, in a natural shade (not too pink or orange or brown).

I'm aware that looks like a long list - but if your skin & brows are fine, then you only need to bother with what I've highlighted in bold - face powder, blusher, lip balm, mascara. The rest is optional, IMO.

Hope some of that helps!!!

If you do decide to buy some new make-up I find Elf products almost universally good.....and cheap. Their Xtender tubing mascara is excellent for example.

A tinted moisturiser, mascara, blusher and a tinted lip balm or a lipstick may be all you need for a light tough that still makes you feel put together.

OP I recently got a no 7 makeover done in Boots. In my case it was because I've had hair loss due to chemo and I wanted advice on filling in my eyebrows.

I don't wear much make up and made it clear I wanted a natural look. The woman who did it listened to me and some of her suggestions for eyes and eyebrows weren't things I'd have thought of.

I didn't spend much money as I already had some similar products ie tinted moisturiser but I did buy three new eye products which weren't expensive and I've used since.

You are absolutely not letting your daughter down, she’s going to remember that you were there and excited for her.

If you do book someone, yes usually you’d do a quick trial first just to make sure you like the look.

If you end up doing it yourself, keep it really simple like
-lightweight base/tinted coverage
-cream blush
-mascara
-softly defined brows
-lip color close to your natural tone

Wavy hair often looks nicest when you work with the texture. Even a soft blow-dry, loose waves, or a simple half-up style can look lovely.

I don’t think God will judge you for not paying to get your hair and make up ‘done’. Im afraid I would judge the mothers that think it’s important to be so vain though.

Whatever happened to “Judge not, lest ye be judged”?