Teen ideas

[myladyjane]

I have a 16 year old dd off to college in September. She has limited interest in clothes and is really anxious about a lot of things (possibly ND).

shes quite excited about a new start and wants a bit of a glow up post gcses. Hopefully her braces are coming off after about 3 years of treatment, she’s having her waist length hair cut to above her shoulders, she’s joined the gym (excellent for her anxiety).

clothes have always been tough. She feels very body conscious, over whelmed by choice and conflicted between looking nice in stuff that suits her that gets her compliments and hiding away in huge baggy stuff that then makes her feel worse about herself iyswim.

her natural style is pretty plain, subdued colours, quite kind of gamine (she’s very slim) but not androgynous. Her prom dress is a very plain navy body con type thing that she loves and looks amazing in. High neck but very fitted and she looks very elegant for a 16 year old!

what I would really like is to point her at some ideas/shops so she can get an idea of what she likes and would like to try. Then when we go shopping it doesn’t turn into her getting more and more overwhelmed and withdrawn and me getting cross because she can’t go to college in her pants (flashback of our last trip).

any ideas where to start pointing her? I worry places like Uniqlo and H&M are where I shop and Berksha and pull and bear where her very stereotypical teen twin sister shops and we need to find her a middle ground

Why would you both need to ‘go shopping’ when there is so much more choice online?

Given several months to choose, it would seem more sensible to browse widely (with a tape measure), order things, try them on at her leisure at home, and gradually build a wardrobe that satisfies her.

Oddly enough I would have suggested Uniqlo first. It’s highly unlikely the two of you will look identical just because you both shop there.

Alternatively - if the budget is a little more flexible, Community Clothing makes very plain, high quality clothes that make no strong fashion statement.

And she could look at the new Topshop collections for more frivolous items.

thanks. Ironically she wants to ‘go shopping’ rather than online partially because she quite likes the idea of me and her having a day out, getting some food etc. it’s part of the fresh start/glow up thing she wants.

uniqlo probably is a good place to start isn’t it so I’ll get her to start browsing. Community clothing may be a bit adult looking for her but also she can look. She typically costs me half the amount her sister does so I can stretch to something she likes if there is anything.

I would start with jeans. Try on a few different styles & find what is flattering on her & she feels good in. Then, I would look for a few nice, fairly plain tops & jumpers.
Shoes & a nice bag are key though x

Ps you sound like a lovely mum!

My teen loves urban outfitters, brands like Represent and Ed Hardy, etc.

Her style at the moment seems to be massively baggy joggers/jeans and then a vest top - it seems to be what all the teenagers are wearing around here. Shoes are mostly adidas, bag is a longchamp tote, coat is northface only worn in the grimest of weather

Hollister
Abercrombie
Zara
Mango teen
New Look
H&M
Brandy Melville
Subdued
Urban Outfitters/iets frans

Hollister, Abercrombie, Brandy Melville,
Subdued all do the American girl next door look which might work for her, basically quite plain t shirts and vests either oversized or cropped, lots of different jeans and joggers, hoodies and a few fairly plain knitted jumpers. Lots in navy/white/pink/grey.

H&M has a big range, especially good for basics. New look also good for basics. Zara can be a bit “try hard” but has a few good things. Mango has a small teen range, quite good for slightly more special but still subtle things.

& Other Stories, Arket, COS and Zara, budget permitting.

These are nice but some have more grown up styles. The young woman I know (22?) likes vintage shops and goes to vintage fairs. I saw her in an outfit with pale yellow/lemon almost chiffon trousers. Would she wear a crop top? Saw another slim teen in a black and white piano print skirt, very nice.

I think some plain tops but also a going out/special top.

Would it be a bad idea if her sister tagged along with you?

Thank you - she won’t wear cropped but will wear fitted. Most of these her sister likes (she rocks the crop top jogger thing) but haven’t heard of subdued and that sounds good.

I agree re bag/trainers/accessories in general so have made a section on her list to consider.

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain I am undecided re her sister. They both adore each other and clash dreadfully in true twin sister fashion. So it will either be amazing or awful. Irony is her sister is excellent at picking things out that will work

Urban outfitters and Hollister. I should really bypass my daughter and get my salary sent straight to those two retailers.

My 16 year old (very into clothes but def not Bershka, H&M etc which her 14 year old sister is into) currently loves:

Minka dink
free people
Urban Outfitters (hit and miss)
tom’s trunks
subdued
hollister

Not sure all are bricks and mortar but hope that helps!

Would she wear a fitted top and baggy jeans, thus avoiding the all over baggy look? Check shirts seem to be popular too. There are brighter colours too if she likes!

Try and go to a subdued store. Their delivery and returns are expensive.

My daughter’s new obsession is Edikted. They now have a shop on Carnaby St and a UK warehouse, so we don’t have to wait days for delivery from the US.

lol. Having just done another order for both Hollister and UO yesterday, I feel this way too.

I’d recommend setting her up on Pinterest and getting her to make a board of outfits she likes. Low pressure because it’s not actually shopping but she’s just picking styles/colours etc she likes. You might even find certain brands or people she likes.

Then I’d note anything that’s repeating through them all and start there

Once you have an idea of what she likes & maybe tried a few things on, I highly recommend using Vinted. Especially for brands like Subdued where delivery & returns are expensive as pp says (and IMO they are overpriced to start with).

There are loads of the popular teen brands on there, teens and young adults seem to have embraced Vinted hugely both buying and selling. Very sensible!

OP says she’d rather go shopping than online.

Eg near where I live, in Bromley, there’s a big retro store there called Beyond Retro. Shopping centres near where OP lives must have similar.

Yes that’s why I said once she has some ideas & has tried some things on. Vinted is the next stage.

Can you to an Oxford street shopping day? With stops for that expensive disgusting matcha crap they like? 😂 (ask me how I know. And mine loves to make me try it, just so she can laugh at the face I pull 😂).
Stradivarius is a good one, Free People, intimissimi for underwear and layers, Anthropology, Urban Outfitters.

Having done it for so many years, the ‘can we go to Oxford street for the day, mum’ suggestion makes me want to run for the hills, but she loves it, so we’re doing it.
Last year I booked us a cheap hotel with parking, she drove, which meant we went twice to Oxford street, we were already there and she went back for some stuff.

She couldn’t cope with Oxford Street to be fair - she’d freak out at how busy it gets. She can tolerate crowds to a reasonable degree but that combined with the pressure of shopping would be a bit too far.

i did suggest heavily that she made a Pinterest board and she has committed to try then we had a laugh about how she totally won’t. She did ask if this was a cunning ploy to avoid me spending a heap of cash on something she says she likes to get me off her back and then never wears and I said yes, it was 100%. God love her, I adore how she knows she has to do this, wants to do this but does realise she’s hard work when actually doing it….

thanks so much for all the suggestions - list has been shared so let’s see if anything lands or else she really will be going to 6th for in the Harry Potter t shirt she got when she was 8 (and she doesn’t even like Harry Potter)

@myladyjaneUniqlo is like a uniform shop! It’s utterly boring but great for plain separates. My DDs liked Zara and Mango. They do smell sizes and the big stores have lots of choice. Then look on line because unless you are near a big store (eg Westfield in Shepherds Bush), you won’t find a huge choice and you will be back to square one!