Style at 40

[ToadRage]

Did you change the way you dressed at 40? My Mum was a young Mum so I remember her at 40 but she always seemed older to me than I feel now at nearly 40. She would often talk about the fashion rules for over 40's and stopped wearing certain things, like vests, cap sleeves, shorts, skirts and dresses that were above the knee. This encompasses most of my clothes and I don't feel the need to change them but should i ve heavily modifying my wardrobe for 40? My Mum is very judgemental and will often comment on what I am wearing if she dislikes or disapproves.

I’ve not passed the 40 mark yet, but am fast approaching it! I don’t have any intention of changing the way I dress due to my age. I suppose I feel like I’ve lost my way in my own wardrobe a bit after having three children, as the requirements for the clothes are a bit different than before they came along (even though body is luckily the same). So, I’m kind of getting used to the new lifestyle and what works with that, which is an adjustment.

I’ve actually found that makeup and skincare have needed a much bigger change in recent years, as none of my mainstays seem to work for me anymore. I look older, yet I need less makeup somehow as I can’t seem to carry off much. It’s odd.

And where did I say that not wearing a body con dress made you a frump?! But it’s not something a 50 year old woman would have worn when my mum was 50. And yes, the clothes that many 50 year old women wore back in the 80’s and 90’s did make them look frumpy. My mum wore mini skirts in the 60’s, she would never have worn them in the 80’s. I wore them in 80’s, 90’s ( well apart from the grunge stage which was definitely frumpy), the 00’s, the 10’s…and I am still wearing them now. Life has moved on, thank goodness. I will be keeping my hair long until I die and will never ever be getting a grey bubble perm!

The rules were silly, but I don’t think it’s silly to reach a milestone age and pause to reflect on your lifestyle - and for some (not all) of us, that might include how we dress and present ourselves to the world.

I’ll wager that a lot of women who kept their bubble perm into old age were just sticking with the style that was fashionable in their youth.

So I would give the old rules a bit of a twist: Is there anything you’ve always wanted to wear or a hairstyle you’ve always hankered after? If yes then a big birthday can be a spur to making the change while you still can. We don’t live forever.

I think I have a bit, but not in a super intentional way. More that I’ve found shapes / styles I enjoy wearing. Also I have more money and do different things to say my 20s. So have better quality things / try to avoid fast fashion even if it’s buying more bits on Vinted etc. I also gravitate to comfort more and more because I work from home a lot - the days of tottering round in heels and tight pencil skirts are happily gone.

That said I certainly and wholeheartedly object to any age fashion rules. Please feel encouraged to wear what makes you happy! Ignore unkind comments from anyone else xxx

Hahahaha blast from the past

Love to see people dress for joy x

I'm 49 and in the last year lost 3 stones and shaped up. My legs which were always my nemesis, even when a lot lighter than I am now have become a part I like! So much so over the winter my going out outfit featured a leather mini, opaque tights and chunky heeled boots. I turned up to a party dressed almost the same as women 15 to 20 years younger! I felt great though.
My fear is becoming frumpy.

I’m nearly 40 and don’t plan on changing my style.

I’m actually slimmer than I was in my early to mid thirties (found I put on weight during the sleep deprived baby and toddler years!) so I have more confidence to wear sleeveless dresses / crop tops / cap sleeves etc.

I’m 43 and the only way I have changed my style is not giving a shit what people think. So now lots of colour, Lucy & Yak and Run & Fly!

Body shape normally changes, so it would be advisable to adapt. I know women who managed to get a great body at 50 and now they were shorts, mini skirts, tops and they look phenomenal. On the other hand if your body shape is not the same as before you need to dress for it. I personally try not to follow trends and buy few pieces that are expensive but fit me perfectly. I am done with the cheap crap I used to buy in my 20-30s. Especially for swim ware, it makes all the difference!

I’m 46. My style has changed as I’ve gotten older but there wasn’t a drastic jump at 40.

I buy more expensive clothes now and unlikely to shop much in places like Zara, H&M etc. I care a lot more about quality, well-made clothes that fit perfectly. That’s much more important now I don’t have a taught, perfect 20 something body and skin!

wear what you are comfortable in, why you think you look good in and what makes you happy.
don’t worry about age it what anyone else thinks.
I am in my 50s now and I wear what I want.
I have never been a follower of fashion, I have my own style and I don’t care if anyone thinks I should dress for my age. I get plenty of compliments on what I wear though 😺

Wear what YOU as an individual feel comfortable in. The best thing about dressing ourselves as we age is that we know ourselves enough to know what we feel our best in rather than just following trends.

My day to day dressing is similar to when I was a teen, just a more expensive version with some things, eg hoodies, t shirts, band t shirts, docs, ( although I wear Lanx boots but Doc sandals)

My evening stuff tends to be a long straight silk skirts with camisole, t shirts or very fine knit short sleeved tops
Im 60.

My mum was the exact same! She’s in her 60s now and really regrets it! She often tells me not to do what she did and become “frumpy”. At the time she felt like she could only shop at M&S (which was very much an older ladies shop then) but now she will happily pick things up from all over the high street.

I'm 47 and 9st lighter than I was in my 20's .....I've got an 8 & 4yr old and I wear what I want, short, fitted, over knee boots, ....I do have a lot more expensive clothes now and find they fit and flatter so much more

Ive never dressed for my age.
When I was young I was very shy and dressed to disappear, most of my adult life I was very obese and dressed in horrible frumpy clothes coz I just didn't care.
Now I'm over 50 and normal weight I wear much more colourful fun clothes.
Not a single decision was based on my age, it was all about how confident I felt at the time.

I have definitely changed how I dress and do my hair and make up over the years. For me, sticking with the same thing forever can end up looking worse! Everyone knows someone who still wears what they wore in their youth and it doesn't always look great, depending on what it is. That isn't because they are "too old" for their clothes though. More that the clothes and style look a bit dated.

I wouldn't automatically change just because of my age though and don't think anyone else should either. With really revealing clothes, like underboob and low risers with crop tops etc, I'm not keen on them on anyone, even if they are young and fit etc.

age is just number. do not change your style due to age

I am 50, and go to the gym 4 times a week, do weights, size 10, toned legs, hourglass figure, so I wear what looks good/flatters my figure and what I like of course. Quite happy to wear short skirts/shorts. I have to wear slim fit clothes/tops else I look enormous because of my boobs, and baggy t shirts just flap around like a tent. Age doesn't really come into my clothing choices, just what works for my figure. Context matters of course and I will dress professionally for work, and wear leggings/walking gear a lot at weekends (very outdoorsy/active)

I have always had my own kind of style though and don't really follow fashion.

Same with my hair, it's very long, bra strap length. Some women get to 40s and chop it all off. I love my long hair and not planning on cutting it short.

As long as you still suit the clothes you’re wearing, they make you feel comfortable and happy, age has got nothing to do with it! You may suit and outfit that a 20yr old wouldn’t! As for cutting your hair off and getting fat HELL NOOOO now my kids are older im hoping for more time and money to work on myself! Id like to go to the gym more and get a boob uplift! Times have changed I recon from when ur mum was 40. Politely tell her if she has nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all

But isn’t that a lot to do with how your body changes? I was slinky size 10 in my 20s but now have huge matronly breasts and a massive belly. I would look ridiculous in mini skirts and crop tops. Equally my budget and lifestyle limits me to frumpy offerings from seasalt and fat face, possibly M&S.

Please don’t heap another layer of judgement on women just getting through just because we dress for a less than ideal figure.

It's only on S&B that I come across this idea that women shouldn't wear their hair long past age 40.

In real life, I do know quite a few women who had their hair cut shorter in their 40s/50s. This was because:
Their hair changed - as it can with the menopause - and became thinner, frizzier and just didn't look the same worn long.
And / or they decided they'd had pretty much the same hairstyle their entire life and that they felt ready for a change.

You're not even 40 yet, op and either of those things could happen to you. By all means resist pressure from your mum, but I recommend not digging your heels in so hard that you leave yourself with no room to manoeuvre.

I'm 41 and had a haircut over the weekend. I had been going twice a year, chopping from armpit length curls to just below shoulders, but I've gone for just above shoulders this time and plan to keep it this length. Nothing to do with being older but everyone who has seen me today says I look younger and it's in much better condition this way!

As for changing my clothes - not at all. I'm fitter than I have ever been as I've been running for a year. I've adopted barrel leg trousers and jeans in winter and this summer I'll probably just wear the same type of harem-shaped trousers I've been wearing since my 20s.

I did donate a frilly floral dress this weekend but again, not an age thing. It just looked off when I tried it on. I also feel the same about midi-dresses at the moment. They felt very on-trend for a few years but my brain doesn't like them on me any more.

Good for you. I don’t really get why there’s this narrative that younger women all look amazing and older women automatically look frumpy. I look around me and I know quite a few women around 50 who are slim and toned with lovely hair annd clothes and they look gorgeous.

I also know plenty of women in their 20s who don’t prioritise exercise and style/beauty. Absolutely no problem at all of course, there’s no reason that they should and it’s their choice, but it’s not a given that younger women all look amazing.