What would you wear for a 'send off' (not funeral) in a pub?

[theQuarterly]

A friend of mine recently died (suicide unfortunately). He was 30 years older than me (in his 70s) but we got on very well, met several times a week, he knew my family and did work for them (was a very good, very skilled 'handyman'). Known him over ten years.

He didn't want a funeral, but there's a 'send off' in the local pub for him soon, planned by his family who I have never met, who'll all be there.

Given he didn't want any sort of funeral, I doubt he'd want people in black/formal attire but I don't want to wear my usual, casual 'few drinks in the pub' clothes either. He would always comment if we met and I was wearing black, saying how I looked a lot better in brighter colours (probably true) so I feel I should honour that somehow. I am also mindful that as he was very popular the pub will likely be very busy and I won't get to sit down, so high heels might not be a good idea either.

I'd either wear my smartest few drinks in the pub clothes or one of my (office) work outfits. Like you'd I'd start with the one with the comfiest shoes.

In the nicest possible way, unless you do something completely outlandish, no one's even going to notice what you're wearing.

I hear you.

I think it is the nervousness around meeting his family if I am totally honest.

I know he would have mentioned me to them, we were very close. I saw him more than she did but his daughter is the same age as me, doesn't know me, and he was very well-off. I am gay, had no romantic interest or 'gold digger' interests, but she may not know that. She may also feel I should have been able to tell how down he was, he did confide in me but I didn't see this coming.

I don't want to wear something that could be perceived as inappropriate, nor do I want to appear too formal and stuffy. I hope this makes sense.

Poor man. I think a nice pair of trousers, jacket and top and flat shoes. As @Condbottle says, office type wear/smart casual really. You're hardly likely to offend or stand out in that.

When I’m unsure of clothing for a funeral I opt for a navy dress, plain or subtle pattern, as it’s not black (in case it’s a not black affair) but acceptable if many are wearing black