62 and need help what do I wear now?

[Whaatthe]

Help! I’ve completely lost me. Years of confidence killing stuff and now My wardrobe consists of my friends oxfam cast offs and my sons old jackets. I need me a glow up quick - for every day but also for a posh wedding.
I have at least discovered I like simple shapes and trousers ( and boho vibes like the Olsen twins, but I’m a bit old to be showing much skin) - too many varicose veins) I’m 62, 5.8, bulges where my waist was and 12 stone, with the discovery that I’ve now got dinner lady arms and skinny legs under a bulgy body. So not a great shape alas. Colours are autumn, or were- I’m going grey.
i optimistically went shopping last week and realise I need help and lots of it!
I think simple tops and fitted trousers or a suit? In my dreams I’d look like cate blanchett in oceans 11.
if anyone has ANY idea, how to start please help!

What’s your budget?

for a wedding/special occasion Cate Blanchett vibes, it’s hard to beat The Fold https://thefoldlondon.com/tailoring/suiting/?_gl=1%2Ag92muv%2A_up%2AMQ..%2A_gs%2AMQ..&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIwaSWsKzlkwMVr6RQBh0wIRZlEAAYAiAAEgJyvfD_BwE&gbraid=0AAAAADvgiGq1QgbBDICPgH-ObzN4R2Ee7&page=2

If you don’t mind our robot overlords I uploaded a selfie to Chat GPT to ask what colour clothes, makeup and jewellery most suited me and that helped me revive my style.

I’m the same age as you and for day wear lots of Zara shackets or blazers over scoop neck or v neck t shirts, v neck camis with wide leg trousers or straight leg jeans (various colours including leopard print denim) - then I have lots of coloured trainers. My outfit yesterday was this…with M & S boyfriend jeans, gold earrings, gold bracelet and stone coloured Apatchy bag- would you wear something similar in your colours?

For the posh wedding could you buy a matching skirt and top to create your own dress? You’d get more wear from the two pieces but I also think it is hard to get a dress to fit if you’re not a standard size, whereas you can buy different size top to bottoms. Rixo do this well, Boho too, but this snake print two piece from Tesco was great for the price…for trouser suits I’d look at Me & Em but Zara have some gems sometimes

You don’t give a budget, but no matter. Start with some inspiration and then you can adapt what you like to your preferred budget.

I’m a similar age and clothing size (though shorter) and the places I look to for shopping, or browsing, include:

Acne Studios
Auralee
Co Collections
Cos
La Fetiche
Loulou de Saison
Margaret Howell
Petar Petrov
Rachel Comey
Raey @ Matches (vintage)
Rohe
Sofie D’Hoore
Studio Nicholson
The Frankie Shop
Zara

I have things in my everyday wardrobe from most but not all of the above - and between them I could definitely clothe myself for a wedding / party / pub / conference / theatre / cocktails / christening / funeral. To look ‘dressed up’ I would generally focus on grooming, jewellery and fabulous footwear. The important thing is that if you buy really well cut and properly designed clothes you genuinely never need to think about your own body - the clothes do the work.

(I shop online. Love a bargain and sometime stalk items for months, or find them pre-owned. I don’t pay more than something is worth to me. I don’t find High St shops worth my time or money and would never waste my energy traipsing around local shops if I actually needed to buy anything.)

Sorry! Obviously see if:

Community Clothing
Uniqlo

or similar have things you want, as well. They may or may not take you to a wedding but they’re brilliant for hard wearing everyday stuff.

(Edit for earlier post - I’m around a size 12, not 12 stone!)

I am mid 50s, size 12/14 & 5ft 8" & i shop in:

BA&SH
ME+EM
COS
Sezane
M&S (very selectively)
Sandro
Maje
Essentiel Antwerp
Stella Nova
Damson Madder
Jigsaw
Whistles (used to love but really gone off it now)
Claudie Pierlot

Gosh! Well that’s nailed it, defiantly41 their stuff is gorgeous! Unfortunately I can afford it - as in buy it,- but not justify it - my daily life is mostly very casual.
sparkletastic that’s is an amazing idea!
minnowonthesay yes, exactly this! your style sounds like a more stylish version of my daily wear.thank you for the dress idea, I think I’m a trousers girl really.
acopolticiansapprentice great name! Thank you for this amazing list! I’ll spend the evening googling.
my budgets pretty free - I figure years of wearing the stuff my mate bought from oxfam and sons shirts mean I darn well deserve to have some nice things. I am conditioned not to spend but agree on well cut quality it’s just hard to find! I treated myself to hush trousers and jumper and the quality was apalling, , , ,, they looked tatty after 1 wash. I’m guessing you put a look together on line then buy it online? ( it really has been years since I shopped!) thanks for the grooming tip. I’ll splurge in a hair do. ( another ‘how much !’ Moment. I’m so tight.sigh.
2026is myyear ( I hope it is!)
thank you for the list. I am going to enjoy a google!
I did find an ok suit in h and m, obviously not in my size. And a dress in Zara that I think I bought for 20 year old me! So that needs to go back. It’s SO TIRING trudging round shops and there is never anything you like / fits/ HOW do people look stylish?!
cuppa and a google. Thank you kind people you have given me hope!

Sorry for odd typing. My iPad doesn’t seem to type when it goes on mumsnet. Very odd.

I’m guessing you put a look together online then buy it online?

Not exactly, no - but I already have good things in my wardrobe so it would be rare for me to need to buy a whole outfit at once. What generally happens is that every so often in my almost continuous online browsing I fall in love with something that seems amazing. I then go through a fairly instantaneous series of questions

Is it the right price?
Is it the right fabric?
Is the provenance acceptable?
Will it work with key pieces I already own?
Will I feel utterly excellent swishing about in it?
Will it withstand a day of trains, Tube and escalators or demand a fortune in taxi fares?
Or could I wear it for my favourite walk into town?
Am I already longing for it to be old enough to wear for gardening?
Is it likely to need any alteration?
Is anywhere else selling it for less?

At that point I rely on instinct. Most things I find I definitely want are filed in an Evernote notebook. I’ve learned to quash the urgent rush of desire unless prompted by genuine scarcity, or an unmissable sale, to buy at once. I actually end up buying only a tiny fraction of things I thought I couldn’t live without. And I wear things for years, so outfits tend to evolve gradually.

But obviously your situation is different! I would lean towards one high quality but very simply cut item that can be dressed up for the wedding but then incorporated into your wardrobe. Don’t get something cheap on the basis that you won’t wear it again. Use event dressing to your advantage.

I disagree about going round the shops. I think maybe I don't have the imagination to look at clothes online and see how they'd fit and hang, so old school physical shopping is still important to me and I don't think I'm alone in that. However I hardly ever go into town now because it's too depressing, and the out-of-town mall isn't much better. Instead I go round a couple of affluent hipster neighbourhoods that are a good walk or bus ride away from where I live. I have a circuit that takes in an up-market dress agency where I buy a lot of my 'labels', several charity shops, two of which have good vintage rails and a boho boutique. Stop for coffee on the way home - top day out.

The other advantage is that, although I know roughly what I'm looking for, it leaves open the possibility of spotting something different, trying it on out of curiosity and being pleasantly surprised. I think sticking only to shopping online would make me very set in my dressing ways.

That's a long winded, rather me-me-me way of saying, don't rule out real shopping, op, especially if you're still 'getting your eye in'. I think it's more a case of finding a different way of doing it

It sounds from your posts that you're ideally after a more budget friendly, maybe slightly less corporate and more relaxed version of The Fold. Have I got that right?

More CB vibes from this suit from Next https://www.next.co.uk/style/su896343/g10460

I’m 62,too, and quite suddenly recently have noticed that my arms have gone just like my mother’s.
And she was actually for many years a dinner lady!

As you say you are starting from scratch, I'd consider am I dressing for myself or for others? Do I dress to feel in a specific way or to show a specific message? What three words would describe how I want my style to be?

You are all so wonderful thank you!
timiteigirl that’s good questions! I’d love to dress like care blanches and Sandra bullock in oceans 11. Alas I have no waist and spend my time being nice to elderly people, none of them diamond robbers, unfortunately., I assume!
cottinhlyfairy I know! sympathy! It’s amazing what happens when you’re not looking. Suddenly I need baggy blouses. I think I may be more kafkans ala Demi rossos rather than Demi Moore.
defiantly 41 oh that is a lovely jacket thank you very much. I’ll order it today.
My husband was actually helpful and took me to the Levi shop so I have jeans that actually fit and suit and a white linen shirt. I also found some John Lewis trousers that are linen so they scrunch a lot I booked into the John Lewis stylist thing and they were really helpful so I recommend that for anyone in a similar position else. Unfortunately, I had to take it most of it back the next day - when I realised the eye watering bill included £148 silk T-shirt from Reiss that was already starting to snag.
But I might be getting somewhere! So thank you for the encouragement and the long list of amazing shops that I didn’t know existed. It certainly opened my eyes to what is out there.
For what it’s worth I’ve also spent on a proper haircut rather than a granny salon! So I’m learning it’s okay to spend on myself. Watch this space!
Thank you very, very much, everybody.