City break help for clueless 30 something!

[LumpySpaceCow]

Hello,

Would appreciate any advice as I am a bit lost!

Have a city break coming up with DH (big deal as we don't get away much without the kids).

I have put on quite a bit of weight (now a generous size 14 with a saggy tum after multiple pregnancies) and have seemed to have lost my sense of style and just don't know where to start to look and feel good. When I was slimmer, my usual goto would be a quirky dress and docs or jeans and a t-shirt.

City is in the North - smart/casual vibe - plan to have a few nice meals, sight see etc. No specific events planned.

Where do I start!? I am late 30s, 5ft 5, size 14-16 - high street budget (but also love a vintage hunt!). Need everything down to shoes!

Thanks for your assistance!!

So, somewhere like Manchester? City of 57 trillion students and an equal number of mothers battling buggies down the M&S escalators. It’s mostly pretty scruffy, unless deliberately dressed up for a night out. Anyhow … Take a look at:

https://aligne.co/collections/shop-all (Waist enhancing.)

https://damsonmadder.com/ (Quirky.)

https://communityclothing.co.uk/ (Particularly knitwear!)

As for footwear - if you are going to Manchester, you can drop in to the Lanx shop in the city centre!

https://lanxshoes.com/pages/visit (Scroll down.)

Otherwise, DMs will be perfectly fine for pretty much everything.

Thanks!
I'm not concerned about not fitting in or looking scruffy/over dressed, I think I just want some advice on what I can wear to look good on a date weekend when I've put on so much weight and generally wear huge Monki tunic/dresses.

Maybe the title of the thread was misleading....I think I just need support with a complete style overhaul- I have no idea what looks good, how to style myself and have pretty much lost all sense of direction with what to wear or looks good (maybe I actually need professional stylist help!).

I used to be able to go to the shops and pick anything and look good, but now I can even seem to find an item of clothing I even like never mind look good in! Due to lack of time I rely on Internet shopping but just can't seem to find anything that I think might look good on me.

I’m a big 14 at the moment and I felt the same as you after having a baby, so last week I ran to New Look (as I had a free hour between looking after baby and older DC) and tried on loads of different items to see what fit, what looked good, and what suited my current lifestyle (mum of baby and older DC).

I decided on ankle length / cropped cargos with loose fitting shirts - either chambray, denim or linen. The Hannah jeans from New Look are good for me as they are stretchy, straight leg and ankle length. I’ve got them in grey. Could this look work for you during the day on your weekend? You can dress up with lots of jewellery and colourful trainers? I have some Nikes with a leopard print tick that I love.

This dress was really flattering on - https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/dresses/back-polka-dot-long-sleeve-mini-dress/p/947278909

https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/trousers/dark-brown-cotton-tapered-cargo-trousers/p/948758627 - these looked really funky on, felt like a street dancer in these 😁

How exciting! It sounds like a lovely break.

I’m a similar age to you. In case it helps, one evening at the theatre last week I wore a red, boxy t shirt with elbow length sleeves, with the front of it tucked into wide leg, slightly cropped camel trousers. I then tied the outfit together with a brown belt with a gold buckle and brown, good condition trainers (Adidas Sleek, which are often on offer). I wore a gold T bar necklace and small gold earrings and a couple of gold bracelets. My little bit of pizazz was a pair of cream socks with tomatoes on them (nicer than they sound!), which tied into the red t shirt. I carried a light, boxy cream jacket from Uniqlo (it was Wednesday, so was hot!). I used a plain, dark tan leather crossbody handbag.

To dress up this look, I’d have swapped out the trainers for a pair of brown or tan low slingback shoes, and swapped the t shirt for a boxy, crisply ironed shirt - in red or cream.

I hope that helps a bit to give you some ideas. Do you know what colours and necklines tend to suit you? I have quite warm colouring, so tend to wear cream, camel, coral / red, turquoise and cobalt blue. I mix in a bit of animal print. As I’ve got older I’ve moved away from prints on clothes, as I do find on me that they can be a bit aging. Instead I try to pick up interest in jewellery, and socks as mentioned above!

Lastly, I’d recommend the Sloggi control knickers - they’re usually on offer on Amazon. They make me feel a bit more pulled in without giving me that “can’t breathe” feeling.

I bet you look fine @LumpySpaceCow, your dh will just be looking forward to getting you to himself for the weekend. Enjoy yourself and dont be hung up on looking how uou look. And change ur username!!

Thank you so much!

@MJFEB2026 that really helps! I'm going to pop into New Look over the weekend and love the sound of the leopard print trainers.

@mixingplaydoh thanks so much. Really good tips. I am quite pale with brown/red hair so tend to suit greens and blues. I am going to order those knickers now!!

@JacknDiane what a lovely post (I am always nervous on hear that i will get negatively so I honestly really appreciate your comment!). You are completely right! Don't know what we will talk about without the kids!!

@LumpySpaceCow your weekend sounds so lovely. I understand where you're coming from. I'm a lot older than you & i have always been v slim but menopause has caused weight gain & it def knocked my confidence

Dh & i went on a city break (not abroad) earlier in the year & i decided that i was not going to worry about what anyone else thought i was going to take the 3 days / 2 nights to really wear all my nicest things - i have a v bad habit of hoarding anything nice & not wearing it

So i did just that & i felt a million dollars all weekend & was complimented a few timea by strangers!

So my advice would be to get some lovely trousers / jeans & 2 x tops that make you feel fab. And a dress for at least one of the evenings.

I think COS & M&S are well worth a look.

Once you have a few things that fit well then you can build on that over the coming months

Make dinner reservations in a cool spot, research a fab cocktail / jazz / whatever you love type bar, get a litle merry & have FUN with your dh!

Let us know what you buy!

I like M&S too for the odd item. If you have time, try on in store and order on Vinted!

We went on a mini city break last month - the main thing was a gig so possibly a bit different as I didn’t need a “dressy” outfit, and it was only one night. It was colder than now, and in Scotland which is always colder still, but my outfits were:

Black Hush barrel leg trousers with a camel mohair Cos cardi, and white crew neck t-shirt. Leopard print Adidas Samba trainers

Yellow stripy Damson Madder jeans, Ganni cowboy t-shirt (the gig was CMAT, and I love a theme!), brown and yellow Adidas SL72 trainers

Indigo Cos barrel leg jeans, dark brown Cos cardigan, white Uniqlo crew neck t-shirt, the leopard Sambas again although the dark brown trainers would have also worked

I had my Whistles black leather jacket, and a brown Cos sling style crossbody bag which has a black strap. Ideally I’d have had a different bag but I didn’t want to bring two and needed something that would pass the gig size regs.

I usually wear plain white socks but actually picked up some cute red ones in Anthro on that trip which I am wearing now with stripy jeans (Next), a grey sweatshirt and black and white Sambas - agree with pp that a jazzy sock can add a leetle somethin’-somethin’ to an outfit!

Some great suggestions! Thanks everyone. Shopping this weekend!

Something I find myself going to all the time are bias cut satin skirts. You can dress them up or down and dress to them for any weather. I'm bigger than you but a similar age. I'm a size 18/20 and an apple shape and a bias cut satin skirts hides my tummy. In the winter I wore boots and currently funky trainers. In the summer I will wear sandals.

Something I often do for inspiration is search on social media sites for outfit ideas on similar size/shaped women.

Find something you love and you will feel a million bucks. I love shoes so aslomg as I have an awesome pair of shoes on I will rock that outfit. My friend loves a handbag and I can always tell if she is feeling a little unsure because she will use the biggest bag she has and almost uses it as a shield. It gives her confidence and that is what makes the difference.

Thanks! I've never even tried on a skirt like this as assumed you would need to be a size zero to wear one! Definitely going to try one and look for inspo on insta.
I'm just so busy with the kids and work, I feel like I have lost myself in the last few years and need to get my mojo back. I've been several stone heavier than I am now but even then, I had so much confidence in my style and looked and felt good so I know it isn't just my weight which is affecting how I feel.
Genuinely appreciate all the help!

Hello!
Thought I'd share a couple of my buys today!

I got a pair of blue Hannah Jeans (thanks @MJFEB2026 absolutely love them and going to order in grey too!). Also got a couple of tops from New Look and some cool socks - thanks guys!).

Got a few lovely things from M and S including these chocolate wide leg trousers and a 'boxy' tshirt.

Still need some trainers....absolutely love these so might treat myself!

Thanks for the inspiration and advice everyone!

What top do you wear with your satin skirts?

Great picks!

Do you have time to get the jeans from Vinted now you know your size?

Those are my trainers, great choice! Love the wide leg trousers too.

Trousers and a blouse or a dress perhaps? Wear what you feel comfortable in. Depending on which city they have different styles especially at night, Newcastle and Liverpool are definitely more dress up than York or Manchester in my experience. You can’t be overdressed in Liverpool but I felt underdressed!

Didn't even think of that! I'm going to look now!

They look great! Think I will treat myself!

Thanks for the tip! Think I might need something sightly more dressy for the night then!