Has anyone had a complete change of image?

[Crocusgarden]

Just interested in hearing about others experience of this - I'm now in my mid 40's and thinking of a complete change. After a lifetime of sensible conservative styles, worrying what people think (style wise and general people pleasing!) I am thinking of a complete change of style, perhaps getting a change of hair colour, tattoos and generally dressing for myself and caring less about what others think! Has anyone had a complete image change? If yes did you change gradually or just change your wardrobe/hair/make up etc overnight? And what was the reaction from those around you?

Honestly, I think many people would assume that you're going through a mid-life crisis…

I’d caution you against doing permanent things like tattoos for the time being. If you’re wanting to have a bit of a style reinvention you could go ahead and dye your hair and pick more wacky clothes, jewellery and accessories but still allow yourself a pathway back if you decide to retreat a bit later on.

Hiya - I think your idea sounds great and yes I did it too.

When I was young, we were battered kids but from an affluent background; think straight A's, square at school, terrible haircuts, not allowed to choose own clothes. Fashion and 'look' was at the bottom of the pile of problems, but it did make me feel sad.

In early adulthood I was confused, had all sorts of different clothes and no real idea of how to make the best of what I'd got.

Then got into self help and therapy, and took on board the ideas - changed job to charity, met all these charity women workers who helped people who had been abused, and part of what we had to demonstrate was 'being a healthy woman' with her own sense of self. I saw all sorts of 'looks' at work - punky, Lagenlook, purple and red, big hair, tattoos, makeup looks at work, painted nails etc.

And also, you know when you find a good item somewhere random, and then the finds add up over the years? That happened.

And I did 'one in, one out' - taking the shittest thing that I didn't really like or made me feel frumpy or whatever, and out it went to the second hand shop, meaning my clothes slowly got better, with only good stuff to choose from.

The best thing tho was finding a haircut that worked. I have thick curly hair and I found this hairdresser who cut the back layers shorter and the front long, with the overall length being mid back, and all of a sudden I rocked a look. I learned how to take care of curly hair.

I remember being on the train in London wearing my best new trousers, a top and jacket, with hair looking good and bracelets, rings etc and these girls were checking it out and at last, I began to feel good about my clothes and look. But like you say, I felt weird being looked at, being 'that woman.' It took a while to get used to. But clothes and presenting yourself to the world as you are is important I think. I like to think that people can generally tell what sort of person I am, how I think, what political side I'll be on etc, from the way I look.

At 40, the world does need you to give of yourself, your true self, and show who you are. I think women really need to step up these days, more than ever. You don't need to factor everyone else into how you present yourself - ten people, ten different opinions right?

So what are you thinking of?
Will you immediately give away anything that no longer represents you?
And what will you do with your hair?

I have recently had a side shave! Can cover it up with masses of hair flicked on that side if needed, but love it!

I've been going through the same over the last year or so. I put it down to perimenopausal changes and realisations I've come to through therapy.

No longer do I not only not dress for the male gaze, I no longer change/mask my personality for societal acceptance.

I no longer pluck my brows. I shave when I feel like it. I sometimes wear a bit of make up, sometimes I don't. I'm going grey and I don't have any plans to dye my hair.

I wear cute clothing I feel comfortable in. No more figure hugging clothes unless it's for convenience to slip on quickly. I wear dresses because and when it's hot, because I like the design. I always have anyhow.

I am an attractive woman, independent and at peace with myself and my own little world. It pisses off some people, but that only confirms that I'm being true to myself.

Thanks, so many interesting points! Yes I know what you mean @CaffeinatedSeagull about midlife crisis, I never had a teenage rebellion (too sensible!) so I think I'm just behind the curve ..

Not me personally… though could do with a change but I immediately thought of a school mum I know. She was clearly not looking after herself , unwashed hair, tracksuits, stained T-shirts. All of that it changed. She became a devotee of the World War Two glam look. Curled hair, dramatic makeup, those shirt dresses with belts. She had an hourglass figure and could show it off brilliantly! She looked absolutely incredible and rocked it. I said how much I admired her look and she said she had finally decided to live tge look she lived. I have since experimented with a bit of cottage core and dark academia, but none of it is really me. At 53 I hope I find me soon!!!

-live the look she loved I mean

So what it is is a midlife crisis or others think that! Nothing you are talking about hurts others and most is temporary.

Pick a tattoo you love (it doesn’t have to have meaning you can just pick it for the look) and go for somewhere you are ion control of people seeing it or not. I have one across my back shoulders - it peaks out of some dresses but is only really visible if I wear a halter top or similar low back.

Enjoy yourself.

Love this

Sounds fabulous. I have always dressed very casually and ‘whatever’ but I really want to be the sort of person who dresses impeccably at all times. It feels sort of embarrassing though! I think people at work will be like ‘what are you playing at?’

I used to dress in very casual, dark/plain clothing, jeans & a T-shirt/jumper. I now wear dresses in the summer, having eventually found a style which suits me, and brighter, more colourful clothes in general. I could definitely improve my style if I put more effort into it but I’m enjoying wearing more colourful and interesting clothes now. I think the change correlated with doing therapy and cheering up a bit.

Im not sure if its exactly what you meant as in a deliberate style change, but after I hit my mid forties I did have a mindful change int he way I dressed and presented myself. I had a fairly strong 90s based style that just wasnt working anymore and I suddenly realised how dated and cliched I was looking. So i gradually transitioned to a more timeless look....OK OK an older look if you like!!!

For example, I completely changed my make up. From quite heavy to very soft and natural. I put my focus on skincare so the underlying skin was moisturised and glowy, rather that fully made up to imitate good skin. I tamed my rather wild hair to be smoother and more chic. I changed my mum clothes from skinny jeans and cheap fashion to more expensive better fabrics and more flowing / looser design. I felt like a different person. I still focused on being glamorous and i still love clothes makeup and frgarance / accessories etc, but the aesthetic is definately different. I think its natural and good to change things up as you go through life - the first time for me was probably in my teens when I discovered black lol!!!! And then again in my 30s when I was in a very corporate phase of my life.... then the mum stage and now I guess im aiming for the indefinable age but still lovely look.

Yes I did it!

And I'm still working my way through the changes to my style - growing up I never really felt able to express myself.
When I hit my 40s i permananetly chnaged my hair colour to the shade I alawys wanted it to be , I also had multiple piercings in my ears instaed of the single lobes. And I bought extremely expensive earrings to wear.
I also had a small tattoo on my ankle. I spent a long term researching the design and the artist's work.
more recently I've spent time researching style and fashion after losing a lot of weight. I already know what colours suit me so, with the help of Vined, I've been uplevelling my wardrobe significantly.
I decided i really liked the architectural look and now wear quite a structured style in a small, largely plain colour palette. Everything works together and I am never short of things to wear.
I also now wear a "uniform" which again simplifies everything.
i use a wardrobe app on my phone to record what I have to wear.

To be honest doing this has become a hobby thats has brought me a lot of fun.
I've used pinterest, instagram, blogs and AI to get a feel for ideas. I have my exact measurements and proportions so i know roughly how things will fit - and I sourced a good tailor.

After spending decades not being able to wear fashonable clothes or feeling unable to express myself, its been wonderful to discover my own style - and I've done it on a budget!

I did the opposite haha - I went from having tattoos, bright pink hair, wearing very colourful clothing and make up and quite “out there” shoes and jewellery to having a baby in my late 30s, getting diagnosed with cancer very soon after, losing a boob and all my hair, and reacting to that series of events by selling literally everything in my wardrobe on Vinted, throwing away all my makeup, and starting again. Now I look very understated and a bit boring in comparison, barely any make up, tiny earrings, plain clothes in neutral colours etc. Obviously the tattoos are still there 😂 but I didn’t get any until my 30s anyway and they are fine line floral ones that I still love.

A few people commented on why I’d changed my look (mainly asking “don’t you miss your cool hair”) but the vast majority said nothing at all. It is hard to describe, but I just don’t feel like that person any more and I would have been wearing a costume had I continued to dress that way. So I guess what I’m saying is, if you don’t feel like your image/style reflects who you are as a person right now, you absolutely can and should change it! Have fun 🙂

I started changing my look in my late 40s, just been diagnosed with life-changing illness, unhappily married, 2 ND kids - I felt like I needed to reclaim myself. I gradually replaced my wardrobe, got my nose pierced, got a tattoo, dyed my hair - the works!

I’m happy to say I now feel my clothes reflect me - lots of colour and pattern, no plain black in sight! I’m mid 50s now and have clothes I feel comfortable in, never feel the dreaded “nothing to wear” and have never felt better about my look.( I’m also separated, which removed huge amounts of stress and so my health is better managed now!)

As others have said, you don’t have to do it overnight, just start buying clothes you absolutely love (pretty much everything in my wardrobe is eBayed!) and you can gradually establish your ‘new’ style. Good luck and have fun!

I got a style and colour analysis done a few years ago and it’s changed what I wear. Not quite as radically as you suggest but it made me embrace who I am more. Part of the analysis was identifying your personality - classic, boho, retro, sporty etc and I realised I fitted into two categories, depending on my mood.

By buying and wearing clothes that suit me, I’ve definantly experimented more, and feel more confident in doing so.

…and the reaction? Compliments on what I’m wearing, which never happened before (and I’m no skinny minny either).

And don’t save your clothes for best! Wear your nice top, pretty dress, etc. If you’ve never been that person who wears a dress everyday, or always wear jeans, it can take a bit of getting used to, but be that person other people admire, not the admirer.

I think its not uncommon at all to reach mid life and suddenly realiese other peoples expectations really dont matter when it comes to style!
For some people that might be going casual after a lifetime of dressing up or maybe discovering your inner goth or full make and up and posh frock to go to Tescos coz if not now then when!!?😎

I def wear stuff now that I wouldnt of dared to when I was younger. Sometimes its goth or cottagecore or retro. Sometimes its just a brightly patterned frock and make up for no reason or floral dungarees despite the toddler vibes.
These days I worry more about how clothes make me feel rather then how other people might feel about them!

Haha! TBH I’m of a similar age and have been consistently thinking about getting my first tattoo done recently, I think something does hit us at this age which makes us want to make changes.

Go for it, have fun and don’t worry about what others think.

I'm attempting to go through a style change as well - but it sounds more the opposite to you. I had always been one for more tight figure hugging clothing and like a previous poster mentioned, I'm a bit done with male attention! And more here for comfort and class - looser garments draping over me, maybe selecting higher quality fabrics etc. Even years of getting my nails done, I can't wait to go into the salon and tell them I want them short! It's nice to have a refresh, just start with one thing at a time and see how you feel. Sometimes that can be just the shift you need.

I went all out grunge/ glam/ goth in my teens.

Changed in my early 20s because dickhead man didn't like it.

Got all boring and professional in my 20s. But also embraced mad men vibe.
Got v boring in early 30s mum period. Didn't know where I was, style wise.

My late 30s and 40s I dress for the decade I fancy at the time. Mainly 30s-70s with a bit of 90s grunge again (still got my army shirt and jeans). But I never know what I fancy until the day.

I wouldn’t do anything to extreme I’ve recently had my long hair cut and I regret it already… x

Yes maybe one change at a time?

Mine was a slow evolution, learning to notice and prioritise my needs in regard to fit, texture, comfort, decision fatigue. I had to understand how and why I wanted to be perceived, at different times, and value those things more than the vagaries of fashion.

But it was gradual for me because the awareness built slowly. If you know what you want, I don’t think you should let what other people think k stand in the way of your self expression, You only get one ride on this weird rollercoaster we call life.

Yes, but for different reasons, I lost 6 and a half stone, on purpose, went from an 18 to an 8, and stopped wearing all the stretchy black stuff.

my style is now much softer, wide leg trousers and jeans, midi skirts or dresses , slim fitting tops, slouchy jumpers, fitted jackets, colours are often pale, tan, beige, cream etc with pale sea greens , navy, never black. Stuff In styles I’ve never worn before.

i look very very different to what i did two years ago. Not just physically but my dress sense has changed enormously as I’ve worked out whay suits me and what’s current,