I look horrific!!!

[JamSarniess]

I look horrific! My hair is frizzy, my face is spotty, I’m tired. I couldn’t afford the cost of my usual Botox due to financial constraints, so haven’t had that in at least a year. I am aging at a horrific rate and I’m only 37. I look 10 years older.

My teeth are a little stained and my skin is awful and dry. I have a fungal nail infection in one of my toenails, and I’ve also gained a stone in the last year.

I actually just feel disgusting, and would appreciate any advice to help pull myself out of this hole that I’m in.

I do need new clothes, but don’t really have much money to spare. I wish there was a magic money tree that could solve all my problems. I just want to feel like me again!

What's your diet like? That usually affects my skin. Start with plenty of water and make sure you get sleep.

Maybe try absolute collagen serum instead of Botox

I'm a woman in my mid 40s. These are things I've found helpful when I've felt like I'm rotting from
the inside and melting from the outside:

1. Consistent use of nice skin care. Not crazy expensive- No7/ Cerave/ Naturium type stuff. Gradually building up retinol use helped with my acne and dullness.
2. Dental hygienist every 6 months.
3. Not trying to restrict calories (I lack any motivation with that) but focusing on eating proper food and excluding total crap. Monitoring my weight with a focus on not gaining so I don't feel like I'm spiralling out of control.
4. Not having my favourite alcoholic drink in the house.
5. Taking vitamin d and zinc (I don't think I eat enough zinc rich food, but you may do).
6. I'm not consistent enough about this, but sleep hygiene when I feel really crap- basically no phone in bedroom and make sure I have a sufficiently engaging book by the bed.
7. Regular exercise of any type as long as it's fun and convenient enough to keep me somewhat motivated.

FWIW, I feel more positive and energetic than I did in my late 30s.

Agree with the above. My skin goes to shit if I drink a lot of alcohol and eat poorly (they also tend to reinforce each other). I also sleep worse.

Its boring but eating good whole foods, drinking lots of water, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep will get you 90% of the way to looking much better.

Decent skincare/haircare, careful makeup and dressing well in clothes that fit will do the rest.

The best I've looked involved the lowest expense. I swapped to a whole food vegan diet and walked fast everywhere I went, making sure to seek out hills. I bought cheap vit D and B supplements and cut out alcohol. I did 'fat busting' yoga ever day from You tube.
In 6 months i lost two stone and my skin and hair had improved hugely. As had my mental health.
After that everything fell into place. Cheap charity shop clothes looked good because I liked the body that was in them. I save money on my food shop and travel with my new diet and walking and I use that for things I can't do for free like decent haircuts and my teeth.
My skincare is from B&M and Aldi, because its not the cost of the product is regular use that counts.
I'm 20 years older than you and I turned myself around, so its not an age thing. It's not easy but diet and excercise is the key. Because no matter how much money you throw at yourself if you don't give your body plenty of what it needs and restrict what it doesn't, you'll just be papering over the cracks.

Do you have enough for a scale and polish at the hygienists at the dentist? I find this always helps my teeth. If not, invest in a good toothpaste and a water flosser for now.

A good, cheap hair masque and a trim at the hairdresser if you can afford it should help you feel better about your hair. I also get frizzy hair so I feel your pain! It can look a mess when it’s all over the place. It helps me to feel better if I can tame it with a masque and a quick straighten before I leave the house.

For your skin, a vitamin C serum, hylaronic acid serum, SPF everyday and retinol for night time will make the world of difference. A consistent skincare routine always helps me to feel better, even when I have no time to do any other maintenance of my looks. These don’t need to costs much. You can try The Ordinary, or Boots Ingredients products are great too and they’re inexpensive.

I’d get the nail infection checked by a pharmacist ASAP. They should be able to prescribe a treatment for you. Fungal infections can take a while to clear up, but certainly require treatment.

Get on Vinted for some new clothes. Maybe you could also sell any unwanted items you have so you can build up some money in your account to use for new items.

Drink plenty of water every day. This should help your energy levels too. Invest in a good multivitamin and make sure your diet is filled with fruits, vegetables, plenty of healthy fats.

And finally, make sure you’re looking after your mental wellbeing. This is most important of all. Are you getting enough sleep? Do you have any time to yourself?

Yes to drinking lots of water!
I think a trip to the shops can easily sort the other stuff, buy a hair serum for the frizz and blow dry it, take a multi vitamin, start a skin care routine and stick to it if you don’t already. Just generic boots or Superdrug ranges have lots of nice products and they will be fine. Things like serums and eye creams may help you.
You can also get whitening tooth pastes if you can’t afford dentist strength teeth whitening right now, they’re not as strong but you may see some improvement. There’s a Colgate one that’s reduced to £8 in Tesco & Boots regularly.
if it’s a stubborn nail fungus you may need prescription strength stuff from your GP, but they will sort it.

Diet overhaul, uptake fluids, time outside, exercise & thrifting are your friends!

Pop to Home bargains for beauty bits (face & hair masks).

No need to spend a fortune to feel better, OP.

It’s truly awful to feel this way. I’ve been there 💐

Skin: (I suffer with adult hormonal acne due to endometriosis and being on contraception and what works for me is)

• Get some lotion/cream from the GP. I was prescribed Zineryt lotion and it was amazing!
• Avoid sugars and ultra processed foods.
• Drink PLENTY of water. I sometimes cut up cucumber slices and add it to my water.
• Use SPF 50 every day.
• The Medicube toning pads are really good for acne too, I use one every night.
• Make sure you are regularly washing your pillow cases.

Frizzy Hair: Are you in an area that has hard water? If so, get a shower head with a filter. There’s some affordable ones on Amazon.
Blow dry your hair after every wash, I always use the coolest setting. Never let it air dry.
Use a tiny amount of Argon or Moroccan oil on it (but never on the scalp)

Crest teeth whitening strips are really good but they can make your teeth a little sensitive.

Losing weight is hard- but it’s mostly down to diet.

For new clothes - Vinted, Vinted and Vinted!! So many sellers (including myself) sell items with tags still on at a fraction of the price because we want them gone.

I am also late 30s and this was me a year or two ago before I overhauled things.

Diet, water and exercise are key as other people have said. I cut out a lot of the crap, eat more whole foods and aim for 80% of my diet to be UPF free. Plus water and some exercise.....find what works for you, I like walking and yoga but yours might be running or swimming or golf or karate or weightlifting.

I found that once I started eating properly I felt better very quickly and my skin is also better than it was. I think it motivates you to do the rest and things start to fall into place.

Frizzy hair - mine is terrible too so I get a keratin straightening treatment every six months. Now it's smooth and much easier to handle.

Teeth - I go to the dental hygienist for a scale and polish every six months.

Skin - find a routine that is simple enough you will stick to it every day. Mine is vitamin c serum and SPF in the mornings, cleanse tone and moisturise at night.

Clothes look better on once you feel better, but initially I donated about 75% of my wardrobe to charity as I chucked anything that didn't make me feel nice or was frumpy like my previous leggings and fleeces. Call it a capsule wardrobe if you need to but don't put clothes on your body that make you feel shit as it affects your mood all day.

Do you drink alcohol? My skin always looks shit if I have a drink, and it’s empty calories.

Clothes: Vinted?

Basics first;
Make sure your diet is clean.
Make sure you're drinking plenty of water.
Are you getting enough restorative sleep?
Exercising?
After all these have been addressed then think about supplements, treatments, lotions and potions etc.

you Can get some nice products, face masks etc from b and m for a really good price. I had this and tried to do something nice to myself every day. For example a nice face mask from b and m, a swim, a hair deep condition.
once you get into the habit of doing something nice for yourself or self care you can start expanding it.

Just want to say op are you sure you toenail is fungal? I thought I had a fungal bug toenail, turns out it’s a damaged nail plate from ingrown toenails and too much gel polish ! I’m having it removed next month.

Gently buff the toe nail with a nail file and then put tea tree oil on it. That was recommended to me by a pharmacist when I went for something for my nail. You have to do it every day but it worked for me. I used disposable nail files for hygiene reasons. That was years ago though so over the counter treatments may be better now. It’s worth a conversation with a pharmacist so you know your options.

That’s incredibly inspiring.

All of the above. I'm 57 and had to improve myself after some difficult years during which I let myself go seriously to pot.
Good diet, lots of veg, nuts etc… I'm a dairy-free vegetarian. Drink lots of fluids. Restrict alcohol.
Exercise! I got a dog so walk a lot but also went to the gym and did Pilates. Lost 2 stone, using diet exercise and a bit of intermittent fasting.

Regular haircuts (doesn’t have to be posh salon), full fat Nivea plumped my skin up, a few “new”clothes from Vinted… and a big smile!

Regarding your clothes.

Something I do is to take the clothes I already have, carefully hand wash them one at a time using Soak. This is quite expensive because it smells nice but Stergene or Lux are just as good. For White things, I use a pack of Glow White Restore. I think it's called Restore-it's the one up from Normal Glow White,

I line dry them and when I take them in, I look over each one carefully and see if they need small repairs like a small hem stitch or a button replace-sometimes I will treat myself to a pack of new buttons to up grade a cardigan.

Then iron them very carefully , maybe spray them with something fresh smelling and hang them on a quality hanger.

You will be surprised how good a tired piece can look after giving it the Lady's Maid Treatment!

Ps. I'm sure you don't look horrific-just not looking the best that you can and all that can be rectified.

Don't try too many new habits at same time or it will be overwhelming and you won't stick at it. The list below looks a lot but I introduced them one at a time and now second nature.

What has worked for me..

Treat yourself to a nice new water bottle and take it everywhere you go.

Cut down on alcohol and tried to cut it out completely on weekdays.

Vitamin D supplement every day

Skin and me subscription

Binned the make up wipes to force myself to actually cleanse my skin properly

Sunscreen every day

Do something every day that is just for you, even if it's 5minutes outside sitting in peace

Strength training at the gym. My posture is loads better so look better in clothes I already own .

Went back to dentist with tail between my legs having not been for ages.

Bought new toothbrush heads, brushes etc and actually used them properly and regularly

Tried and more often that not, failed, to stick to good sleep hygiene and consistent bedtime

Did a gousto subscription for just long enough to get me out of my meal rut.

Started therapy. Game changer as stress makes everything so much worse.

It isn't perfect. I would still love to be having Botox again and thanks to menopause I have new allergies and psoriasis but I feel so much better about myself and have even been known to leave the house without makeup (something I hadn't done for decades).

@5128gap i need to pin that up somewhere as a reminder!

Hi im 39 and some days feel like you. Never had botox and quite determined not to. People comment i look young for my age and I feel young too. My number 1 thing is getting early nights (im an early riser and have young children). Plus I try to not eat like a wolfhound (thats the extent of my dietary aims) and also stick to proper food instead of biscuits (I am weak for biscuits).
Lots of fresh air and exercise.
Daily inexpensive skincare routine.
My hair is always a mess so cant comment.
Vinted for clothes (I buy and sell, I try to sell more than I buy).
Try to see aging as a privilege. Lots of people dont get to do it. X

Start drinking 2 litres of water a day. Cut out all the crap from your diet and don’t drink alcohol. Exercise and get enough sleep. If your finances change don’t splurge it on Botox, save the money for a Rainy day. Take care of the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves You probably don’t look half as bad as you think you do. Embrace life, be grateful to be alive. As a previous poster said, aging is a privilege that not everyone is afforded. Life is short and the years fly by. Ten years from now you will look even older and look back on the age you are now. Don't waste time getting tangled up in a web of self doubt and insecurity. Real beauty comes from within and will shine through when you accept yourself as you are.

I don’t think that’s aging, just not spending time on yourself. I’d start with reducing carbs and drinking lots of water, both of those make such a difference for me and very quickly

Intermittent fasting. It’s easy to do and I enjoyed the routine of it when my MH was poor. It gave me a god sense of achievement when I stuck to it consistently and it did help me lose weight. Walk walk and walk some more.
yes to skin care but the thing that makes me look better is a light tan, which I get out from a quick spritz of facial tanning mist before I leave the house (I use the st tropez one) or else gradual tanning drops mixed in to some moisturiser (isle of paradise are good). I’ve also started ‘slugging’ my skin care at night (basically putting a thin layer of Vaseline on over skin care at night to seal everything in) it has done wonders for my under eye area.

Do a vegan 28 day detox. You’ll drop a dress size and your skin will be glowing.

Get your hair done at a salon you come out feeling amazing, changing the subject and please excuse me for being thick but was does botox REALLY do? Does it just freeze your face or plump it out?