Considering a bob at 46 with thick wavy hair and parenting

[Swantheory]

Help- I’m 46yo mum of 7yo and can’t decide what to do with my hair. I’ve thick quite coarse wavy when wet hair which until I had dd I kept shortish, due to covid, stylist availability and parenting I’ve grown it but it’s starting to look unflattering and get me down. It takes ages to dry and the texture is getting horse like with peri. I’m desperate to get a Bob but then I’d lose the flexibility of tying it up and also unsure if that would suit me now older. Ali frivolous I know but I’m a bit stuck abd it’s getting me down.

Try ChatGPT to see what you'd look like with a bob.

What length is it at the mo?

I find shorter hair so much more difficult to style than long hair especially when it's thick. You can't tie it up and it needs to be blow dry and styled - whereas long hair can just kind of hang and be put out of the way. I'd go and talk to a couple of hairdressers.
My hair is thick and heavy so have some of the weight removed - more recently with layers, but before with a razor or choppy cuts or whatever the hairdresser does - I trust her!

Do it! It will always grow back if you don't like it. Although Chatgpt is a good idea. I have a bob and I just wash and leave it. It's so easy. I'm older than you.

Periodically I think how much easier a bob would be, and how jaunty and cute, so I have it cut

I then (once again) enter a period of c18mths of growing it out so I can look less like a small child or nun

I have a bob and can get it in a bobble, there’s just not much of a pony there 😂😂

I've always had thick horsey hair and getting it cut short post-dc was the worst mistake of my hairs life.

Keep it long enough to tie up. Find a great hairdresser who doesn't say 'crikey your hair is so thick' each time you see them, rather 'wow let's see what amazing things we can do with this glorious mane or hair'.

A great style will do wonders (she says, massively over-due a cut)

I would do it, but only if you can commit to getting it cut every 6 weeks. Loads of women these days seem to prefer to have long hair and wear it up, which is very sensible with small children and limited time.

I have had every from down to my bra line to pixie crop and my experience was the Bob was very high maintenance. I also have thick wavy hair. In a bob it just seemed to curl in on one side and out on the other, or just look messy unless vigorously styled and straightened. A good cut can stop it looking like a mushroom but you need a hairdresser who is good with thick hair and isn't afraid to think it out. I loved the way it looked when styled but didn't have the time to maintain it.

What does your hair do at the moment if you wash it and leave it? Does it go frizzy? Does it go wavy? Does it lie nicely? Does it do your head in? What it does at the moment will be multiplied if it's shorter as the weight currently keeps it under control!

I have thick coarse hair and during COVID discovered it was actually curly! I do need to put stuff in it (only curls stuff) but can leave it to dry itself and it's about a bob length. Might you have curly hair?

NO!!!! Thick wavy hair is a bob disaster.

What kind of bob? There are so many versions: blunt? Layered? Long (lob)?
Perhaps a layered 'french' style would work if the hairdresser knows your hair well enough to work with the natural wave?
Similar to a pp I spent the first 40 years of my life trying to fight my wavy/curly hair in various ways and to greater or lesser success. I've now given myself over to the curl and it's very freeing. Takes a bit of trial and error to find the right products and routine to work for you but definitely worth it.

It has always been wavy and tends to frizz if air dries because it takes about 2 days tk dry on its own. Years ago it was much shorter less coarse and on holiday I gave jnto the wave and loved it. I think it’d go more curly if shorter now as the texture has changed - which I’m tempted to try but I don’t have cash or time for lots of products and experimenting so I’m not sure I’m being realistic

Yep I get the you have so much hair comments every time 😅

Thing is I had a Bob for years and always suited when first done but also grew out fast but back then I used to spend fortunes on my hair - go to hairdresser every 5-6 weeks etc etc which I can’t do now

I think this is what would happen!

Around shoulder length- chat suggested go shorter as was thick and heavy - which I knew, I’m just scared of the maintenance and loss of tying up eventho it depresses me lol

I cut my hair short 3 years ago, and my DH fell about laughing, quoting Wendolene...

You could go for some kind of head band / bandana type thing instead of tying it up.

Not trying to be awkward but I’ve also got a big head - I love headbands but have struggled whole life to find good size. I’ve one that’s perfect, could never find an equal it’s so worn now but I still wear at home

I have thick wavy hair. About two decade ago I found my style: a choppy below chin length bob. So quite a few layers and it really is wash and wear. I can’t find anyone where I live (London) to do it properly though so I go back to where I used to live about 80 miles away, which means I only get it done every three months. Because of the style it grows nicely then suddenly it bushes out so I know it’s time.
I can’t tie it up, that’s true, but I don’t need to as it doesn’t get in the way.

I have the same hair type as you, OP - very thick, very coarse, and wavy. Do NOT get a bob.

As a PP said, you need to find out if you have curly hair. Buy this: https://www.boots.com/cantu-moisturising-curl-activator-cream-10224679

it’s 8.50 but lasts months and will make your hair soft, shiny and wavy / curly. You just work it through wet hair like you would conditioner, then scrunch it and leave it to dry. Takes me a minute, if that.

If you find your hair likes it (and you like the waves!), ask your hairdresser for long layers that will help the curls sit better. You can then either tie it up, or put curl cream through it and wear it down.

Perfect! I bet you could make another!