‘Smart casual’ evening wear for fat frumpy 55 year old

[Fishrepeating]

Slight curve ball for a work related ‘do’ I’ve been to before where everyone wore variations on evening party wear… now the venue has changed and the dress code is smart casual. I was going to wear an a line Hobbs dress (vinted purchase) but now it seems too bright, too short, too much a party
dress.

Could you throw me some suggestions for an outfit as a fat, frumpy 55 year old? All
weight carried on stomach, 5ft 4, slim legs and bum. I am 14 Next or M&S, 16’Hobbs. Too uncomfortable nowadays to wear no sleeves though I do have a Roman dress and jacket that I would wear but I am pretty sure I can’t get into. Don’t want to spend hundreds so high street or Vinted unless it is something I can wear again.

Oh my goodness, I am being a right drama llama here but I just tried on the Roman dress I like but had dismissed on size and even without the foundational underwear I can do the zip up. The 6lbs I can get rid of before my weight plateaus must be making a difference. What do you think? I have black sandal wedges that I wear and that short 3/4 length jacket navy. If I avoid turning sideways would this pass as ‘smart casual’?

Lady V dresses. The Lyra ones are very forgiving in terms of material give and they do long ones with a thigh slit and short sleeves.

No. That would be smart holiday daywear circa maybe the 1990s.

Really the only way a dress and jacket would meet the (ideal) smart casual evening brief would be if the dress were long and narrow and plain and paired with a cropped, silky bomber jacket. Massimo Dutti probably has that sort of look.

(In case it needs saying - you will have a lovely evening whatever you wear, and absolutely no one will dismiss your chosen outfit in the terms I’ve used on this thread. I am only commenting because this is an anonymous, theoretical conversation - and you’ve asked .)

Opinions invited and welcome! You will be glad to know I’ve dropped the jacket and horrified to know I have replaced it with a sort of cardigan wrap affair which makes me feel even better about the dress. It’s good to know the breadth of opinion and hear the different options suggested. I feel like it fits the reel @Needspaceforlego shared and I will feel ok in it. I do now own two pairs of palazzo pants, so some movement there :-)

I went to a smart casual work event this week and am.a similar size to you. I wore wide leg trousers (full length) with a blouse and trainers. My industry veers towards casual so trainers were fine, but nice sandals would also have worked.
Others were wearing variations on trousers and blouses / waistcoats, plain dresses with utility / bomber jackets, jumpsuits etc.
Men were largely in chinos or dark jeans with shirts/ polos and casual blazers.

i would wear a really nice blouse with wide trousers. I would avoid anything from Hobbs or Roman.

i think Hobbs was great 20 years ago. Even better before. I now have a pair of their trousers that are ok (a one off pair of wool from their sea of polyester) but their dresses are terrible.

Could I suggest an exercise, @Fishrepeating? Might you take twenty minutes out of this beautiful day to look at a handful of websites - just to understand what’s in my head when I’m rejecting your choices? (Before helpful posters come along to inform you these places are not ‘affordable’ - yes, I know. Affordability is not the point of this post - it’s purely to offer a possible re-set for your imagination.) These exaggerated styles, proportions, colour palettes and the attitude with which things are worn are what filter down to the High St. You don’t have to like what you see - but you’ll be able to make a more informed comparison with the styling you’ve been considering so far:

https://carven.com/en-uk

https://petarpetrov.com/

https://www.phoebephilo.com/

Plus:

https://eu.thefrankieshop.com/

I do need to add that these clothes are designed to be worn by anyone of any adult age.

Really interesting to see - I guess it’s all
about context. The normal day wear of many going is that chunky Next cardigan with the scene of sheep grazing and a cottage knitted in a scene that goes all around it. I would eschew that (or maybe I am wrong there too and that is high fashion, though I don’t spot this on the links!) however, that’s my reference point for normality and I already stray from the norm somewhat. What I do like about the clothes in the links, is the fabric flow, I can also see how many pieces would work across ages and body types however I still like the Roman dress - it’s a stretchy silky fabric not that I think that will persuade you! As Tammy Wynette sang sometimes it’s hard to be a woman (who isn’t into fashion but wants to pass as normal and not scare the horses). I’m grateful for all the input. I will revisit some of the suggestions too.

Perhaps she doesn't want to be cutting edge, or even especially fashionable though? Maybe she just wants to wear something that she feels good in?

And I love many of the clothes on the sites you've suggested, but I'm not sure that many women want to do an exercise in analysing proportion, cut etc before they go high street shopping? Maybe they just see something online, or on TV, or on a friend - or maybe they just go to the shops they always do?

I've realised on MN that sometimes it's best to just agree to disagree on each other's opinions of what looks good, is fashionable etc. And I think this is one of those times ... the OP likes her spotted dress. She feels good in it. And that's fine?

Do I like it? Not really (but then I'm not fond of polka dots, which are everywhere!). Would I wear it? No. And that's also fine?

But then she would almost certainly not wear my vintage Bernat Klein dresses or my wide velvet trousers or my gold 70s-style sandals ...

Bit like this, @Fishrepeating?

https://ssdaley.com/products/cyril-lamb-motif-wool-cardigan-blue

😄

But yes - fabric flow, as you so eloquently put it! And clothes that work across ages and body types. This is why I’m so puzzled by every single age-related (which inevitably means age restrictive) post on S&B. I’m obviously not shopping from those first three brands every day - but I definitely don’t stumble over ‘clothes I cannot wear as a woman over 60’ in my day to day browsing or dressing.

am literally just shopping and this is exactly how I feel !

@EleanorMc67 I am now thinking of ordering the satin M&S trousers… gah

@MissPrismsMistake nooooo! I give up - those folksy pictographic knits are en vogue?? There must be a blue moon where geek taste has aligned with high fashion. I am definitely out on that one - I remember Lady Diane wearing the sheep repeating
sweater (stable mate of these montages) when I was kid. Surely these are a close relative of the wolf fleece? You’ll be telling me next those are en vogue too.

In black or beige? Both good choices & the beige might be more obviously "satiny" so more obviously evening wear? Though I would say, I haven't looked at or felt these in store. How things feel is very important to me!

Thanks for calling 5ft 4 size 14s fat.

I felt disheartened by that as well!

Wear the Hobbs dress - I think you’ll look fine in it

They are a bit of a smart casual cliche but a pair of wide leg side stripe trousers - M&S have loads from £28 upwards. If you bought a black or navy pair you could put the white poplin blouse you linked above with them. Or a balck or navy top , I've just bought this one which looks good over a t shirt as a jacket https://www.marksandspencer.com/linen-blend-denim-scallop-collar-shirt/p/clp60778051?color=DENIM#intid=pid_pg1pip48g4r5c1%7Cprodflag_Just%20Arrived%7Cprodflag_plp_ts_QPH_44

Well I chose stone in one size and black in another but then put the stone back as I think they will mark badly where they meet the shoe/floor. I’ve seen this blouse and wondered if that would work. I wouldn’t normally go do pink but it is a dark rose. I’ve also seen this cream one. There’s some
nice M&S ones I fancy, along the lines of @Londonmummy66’s suggestion but the ones I fancy are out of stock online
and in store near me.

Love that pink blouse (especially for evening). Could you find some tonal trousers to go with it? Ideally sharp and crisp or heavy and drape-y to contrast with the blouse.

The cream would be very versatile daywear. (I have a similarly shaped white broderie anglaise blouse bought years ago from MSGM - I must have worn it a thousand times.)

I’m with you in this, I tend to wear wide leg navy trousers a lot and I’m 5,3 slim legs menopause belly, can dress them down with flats or up with heels, I tend to wear a cream waistcoat and lots of necklaces but if uncomfortable with showing arms then favourite sparkly top,

These?

https://www.cos.com/en-gb/women/womenswear/trousers/wool/product/wool-flannel-trousers-plum-1296137001

(I bypassed a couple of other pairs of pink / burgundy trousers that didn’t seem right.)

Me too

For smart casual I usually wear dark wideleg trousers and a dressy blouse - satin or velvet or chiffon, with heeled ankleboots and a couple of pieces of jewellery - either a silver cuff or a cocktail ring and a pendant or earrings.

I would say that’s a good bet, although OP doesn’t sound keen on a vest top.

Maybe a 3/4 sleeve printed blouse top, with blazer, or a plain top with a short patterned kimono top.