What do people wear to funerals?

[Judystilldreamsofhorses]

Can anyone please help? I’ll have a funeral to go to shortly - I wasn’t close to the person who died but do want to attend to support those who were. I work in a creative environment (so have no formal clothing really) and don’t like wearing black next to my face, so am a bit stuck. I’ve cobbled together an outfit which is wine/burgundy wide trousers from ASOS, a black crew neck cardigan from Cos (I’d usually wear this open over a white tee, but it buttons neatly as a nice jumper), and black (flat) boots - will this do? I have a very long black smart wool coat which will cover most of me. The trousers are dark but definitely won’t pass as black even at a distance.

I do have two black dresses but they are summery - one is a pleated midi dress from Cos and the other is a totally unsuitable slightly milk-maid-esque midi dress from New Look. The Cos one might be okay with a cardigan over it but i think would look weird with tights - I usually wear it with Birkenstock clogs or trainers and bare legs.

I don’t really want to buy something, not because I can’t afford to but because I will forever associate it with death!

Why do you like to see everyone else in black simply because it’s your personal preference? That seems like an odd take.

The last one I went to was in the winter too. I wore a long black wool skirt, a pale chocolate sweater, a black and brown Boden trench coat, a pale pink scarf and heeled dark brown long boots.

And a black umbrella.

I went to a funeral recently where everyone was asked to wear pyjamas.

Your trouser outfit sounds fine, OP.

The last umpteen funerals I've been to there’s been a dress code - no black - then either bright colours or a specific colour.

IME it’s very unusual for funerals to be black suit and dresses anymore (and I end up at at least 2 annually!)

Your outfit sounds lovely and just fine

I think when you get to a certain age it’s helpful
to have a standard funeral outfit ready. It does save a lot of stress.

I always have a pair of black “work” trousers of some sort in the wardrobe and usually wear a patterned but muted top, long or short sleeved depending on season with a cardigan if needed. I also have a black midi length shirt dress for summer ones which is cool and comfortable and very neutral.

I don’t wear all black. I don’t worry about being particularly stylish either. You just want to sort of blend in I think, so your outfit sounds perfect @Judystilldreamsofhorses

I also wear whatever coat I have. I don’t think the coat colour matters much.

My grandmother didn’t want any black though and it was a boiling hot summer day, so we all went in semi smart summer dresses and sandals. Even though she had full on church service and burial. I will include that in my will.

My last one was a work colleague. I have a black wool coat i keep for these occasions ny daughter was home so I borrowed her wide leg black trousers.

A pj day is my fave, so that sounds perfect!

I've never heard anyone say how important it is to them that everyone turns up in black to their funeral.

I would just wear something relatively plain that you already own.

Your outfit sounds ideal.

I’ve got a ‘funeral dress’ which goes for anything where there isn’t a specific dress code. It’s a black 3/4 sleeve, slash neck full-skirted midi dress from The Pretty Dress Company. I had an awful year for funerals a couple of years ago and it made it easier to just have a go-to that I didn’t have to think about. Hopefully no more years like that but at least my outfit will be sorted 😅