Help me find a bra, please

[OvertiredandConfused]

I’ve recently lost a significant amount of weight. For a long time, including through my weight loss journey, I have very happily worn Honeylove soft form bras.

However, as the type of clothing I wear changes I’m finding that the straps are showing when I’m wearing anything that doesn’t have a collar or properly high neck. And if I want to wear anything lower cut, it shows then as well

I got a balcony bra from M&S for an event last week and it was perfectly okay but not really something I want to be wearing every day. It felt a bit flimsy and lacking in support (although it did allow me to show an appropriate amount of cleavage)!

Pretty sure I’m a 38D now – that’s certainly what fit me from M&S!

Don’t really mind whether it’s wired or not, but it does need to fit properly and give enough support. Quite a few of the wired ones I tried last week actually gave far less support than the ones I’ve been wearing

Am I searching for the Holy Grail?

You need to go for a proper fitting. I would avoid M and S like the plague. Bosoms are all shapes and sizes and the only way to find a bra that fits well is to try on. Even bras made by the same manufacturer can vary wildly in shape.
I can recommend a super bra shop, depending where you are. I travel over an hour to get to it.

You don't need to avoid M&S, just don't be fitted for a bra there, and go for a non-flimsy bra. I'd try the Flexifit ones. Bras at M&S

What dress size are you? If your M&S bra felt flimsy and lacking support it could well be because it was too big in the band and too small in the cup, which is what they're notorious for when they measure.

Highly recommend being fitted at Bravissimo.

I also highly recommend the Fantasie Smoothing balconette bra. Great support and shape (for me anyway) and lasts incredibly well with no stretch in the fabric. After maybe three years of constant machine washing the wire eventually breaks but that’s decent value for me. I wear these most days

I've had the same problem since loosing weight, my previous style in a smaller size wasn't right anymore. I went for a fitting at John Lewis, returned all but one of the bras I bought as they weren't quite what I wanted but they have correctly identified the size. The one I kept is nice but don't like/need the other colours. I then went to M&S and tried loads on in my new size and using the tips on fitting JL had given me. I've discovered their Jasmine demi cup bras are a really nice fit. They've got light padding so quite substantial. Thin straps which I wasn't sure about but actually feel fine. Previously I went for full cup but like you they were showing above the neckline and too empty at the top. The demi comes down a bit lower in the cup but still contains everything and gives a bit of lift. Bargain at £10. I'm a 34DD so similar to you. Sorry a long way of saying get advice on sizing somewhere else and then still worth heading back to M&S. Good luck!

My every day bras are Bravissimo Millies. I have them in every colour? And 3 in the black.

Really comfortable.

Thank you - missed the updates on this thread for some reason and then I’ve had a busy day at work.

I might go to John Lewis actually. I went to Bravissimo a few months ago and really wasn’t impressed. She kept trying to tell me a particular bra fitted really nicely when it very obviously didn’t. It left marks on the skin just from when I was trying on! Given so many other people say how good they are maybe I should just try another branch?

I will also try the Jasmine demi that @Happy24624 suggested.

Go to bravisimo. They are great at finding the right bras I find. Both me and my daughter get our bras from there as they are comfortable, supportive and pretty bras for all styles of outfits.

You may not feel comfortable in the bravissimo recommendation, but it would still be worth looking at bras with a smaller band and larger cup if you think support was lacking in the balcony one you liked

My best experiences have been at https://www.rigbyandpeller.com/en-gb/lingerie-styling

Totally worth taken a days holiday and having a proper fitting. Totally life changing for me, the first time as a young adult who hated my size.

The fittters work totally by eye and do the adjustments perfectly for you.

Enjoy.

What is your dress size? A 38”
inch band approximately equates to a size 18. If your dress size is smaller than this then you are unlikely to have a 38” underbust measurement.

You could start with the sister sizes for 38D, eg 36DD or 34E, but I would recommend getting a soft tape measure and following the Boob or Bust measuring guide first.

Triumph bras for me every time. I particularly like the Minimiser styles (I’m a 34E) as they give me a lovely shape.

I find Bravissimo rubbish. Get yourself a tape measure and try the Boob or Bust method. Then visit Brastop online and try a few different bras (that’s assuming you can afford this). You can return what you don’t use. I always buy the same bra from Freya now and it fits perfectly.

I always use boob or bust when I’ve changed shape and found them pretty much spot on. Then I buy some cheapish ones from ASOS and return the ones I’m not happy with. I’ve had good luck with Ann Summers bras - they are supportive and a good fit.

I agree with your comments about Bravissimo fittings. I’m a 36F but they persuaded me to drop a band size which was uncomfortably tight.

For day to day wear, Fantasie and Freya Tango suit me best. The Tango particularly comes in a range of lovely colours, l don’t do white (reminds me of school) or 50 shades of beige (makes my tits look like cardboard), you can find discontinued colours heavily discounted if you search. And nobody is going to say that bra is so last year 😀.

I’m not a fan of M&S bras, they just never seem to fit. I like the Panache Tango and the Fantasie Fusion. The latter is really soft but really supportive, although as a disclaimer I like being firmly held in.

If you drop a band size and it's too tight, try a bigger cup size.
It can really make such a difference to the support level, otherwise the support is all on the shoulder straps and it means that the band can move too much and rub.

You don't want it to be uncomfortable obviously, and some bras will just not be the right shape, even in the ''right" size.
I wouldn't dismiss the bravissimo method, just because you didn't feel comfortable in the ones you tried that day. It can take a few goes to get it right.

Speaking from years of experience bra fitting women, 38D is a very uncommon size. Most people believe they are much bigger in the back and smaller in the cup, but the support comes from the back being nice and tight. You do have to get used to the feeling of having a tighter bra.

I'd definitely recommend giving Bravissimo another shot, or try John Lewis maybe. I would avoid M&S like the plague, I'll never forget a woman coming in for a fitting having been told she was a 40C in N&S, I think I fitted her in a 32G, and she looked fabulous.

Agree with this. Get measured elsewhere, but then get the right size in M&S.

I've lost weight and my boobs have almost disappeared to what they were. I used to be a 34DD, but now am probably a 34B, possibly 34A. All my tops seem to pucker at the top above the boob area. I would like some good recommendations also.

I’d say you are a completely different size.

Try boob or bust. Google ‘boob or bust’ and a calculator will come up for measuring.

what dress size are you now? Well
done on the weight loss btw

If you have lost weight then you definitely need to re measure. The inches will be different.

You probably need a t shirt bra by the sounds of it

I give up!

Boob or bust suggests 34FF. I’ve used this method before and it wasn’t great.

Before I did that measurement (needed my daughter to be here to doublecheck), I ordered a 38D from Fantasie. It’s painful on the loosest fastening and the cup is clearly too small.

I’ve lost nearly 8st. My previous size was 40DD, occasionally a 42. Everyone, including me, thought my bras fitted well. I was a clothes size 22-24. I’m now a size 14-16 with obviously smaller boobs. My old bras (M&S and Fantasie) are ridiculously big.

I will book fittings in a couple of places but any ideas what is going on?!

100% agree with a fitting at R & P. The knowledge you will gain by investing a couple of hours and £90 is invaluable. I did it 10 years ago after losing weight too.
I went in wearing 36C and came out 34G totally transforming my figure.
I’ve taken this knowledge and can now buy from other brands understanding the styles to look for.

@OvertiredandConfused Another vote here for R&P, got fitted there just before the millennium- was life changing. Had been wearing a 34E, was actually a 32H at the time. No more dents in my shoulders, no more back pain. Agree that wearing a tighter band takes getting used to, but it made such a difference in how my clothes looked (which is what they advise to do, “don’t look at the bra, put your top back on and look at the difference in your figure/silhouette”.

I’d recommend a Panache Envy full cup as a bra that provides great support and is not too spendy in the grand scheme of things.

Edited to say - congratulations on the WL, amazing!