Can you help me look less ugly in Teams calls?

[WaterWall22]

In real life I'm a pretty average looking middle-aged woman. Lots of my work is on Teams as I work for large national company.
Few times now when I've met people first time in person they've said something along the lines of: 'You look nice?!' in a really surprised way. One woman actually said 'gosh, you look so much nicer and younger in person!'
I've always thought myself that I do look terrible on Teams, but others clearly think so too!
So what do you do to look nice on Teams? I have to wear a headset due to confidentiality so hair is always flat which doesn't help..

I turned it to max and my nose disappeared! Worse still, I didn't notice and my colleague pointed it out 😄

Have the camera higher up. When I’m at work I have a 3 screen set up and my webcam is perched on the top point. I always look far better on Teams calls from the office than from home where I’m peering downwards into my laptop camera

I feel your pain I look like shrek on ours. Hideous

@Haemagoblin
Or maybe we’re just human and want to feel confident while presenting.
Clearly you are either fantastically confident in your own skin or naturally attractive - or both. Great, well done.
Don’t write off the rest of us as shallow.

If they are reacting to seeing you in person as you describe, this tells me there is a lighting issue with the video chats. Bad lighting can make anyone look absolutely horrible. I'd play around with that. Where the computer is located in terms of windows and shadows, what lamps and lights you have going...

Have your camera higher up and tilt it down towards your face. Either have your face directed towards a natural light source or invest in a warm ring light (put it to the side of you if you wear glasses so the reflection doesn't distract people!). I'm super pale and light reflects off my face so I sometimes close the curtains and put on the lights instead. Wear a top the same colour as your eyes, put a bit of make-up on (key features for camera are eyebrows, eyelashes and lips).

Better lighting will help. If you can get a ring light that clips to the back of the monitor and shines on your face, that will make a big difference in my experience.

I second ring light

Hahaha no I'm butt ugly I just don't think that matters in a work context (not being a model). My confidence when presenting at work comes from being across my subject and working hard, not from how my face looks. I mean on Insta, yes, but at work??

Good for you. But do you understand people feel differently to you? I know some people find it difficult to see things from other people's perspectives.

Some people are uncomfortable in their skin and knowing people are looking at them all day through a camera can make them self conscious which can then, in turn, make their working days less pleasant.

It can also be relevant depending on which industry you work in, your level within the organisation and the stakeholders you interact with.

I do get that people can feel differently and if they want to do it I certainly don't want to stop them. I am surely still allowed to have an opinion about it. And I think it is a sorry indictment of society that people feel the need to digitally mess about with their faces at work. And I can bet you ANY money men aren't doing it (or certainly not in the numbers women apparently are). It's just the same old sexist shit with a new high tech gloss I'm afraid.

You can have an opinion, of course, but you don't have to dismiss people as "pathetically vain and shallow" because you disagree with them asking for advice on how to feel more presentable on virtual meetings.

It's not about being 'presentable' though is it. Presentable is clean and neat. This is about how to be unreal. The fact we are expected to not look like our actual selves because people are now so habituated to an airbrushed, filtered unreality mediated through screens is a genuine problem. In the same way that it is a genuine problem how many people, when presented with a task that requires expertise and critical thinking or God forbid creativity, are turning to ChatGPT. We are writing ourselves out of our own reality. It bothers me philosophically. And it is vain, and it is shallow.

Ive taken some of the tips here and tried them this week and i look so much smarter and better on my calls. I think its important to present yourself well in any situation and i think ive lapsed into a comfy look through wfh. I picked my wardrobe carefully this week, brushed my hair, angled my camera properly and it looks good.

Nope. OP wants to look as nice on virtual calls as she does in real life and others have given her tips on how to improve her home office setup (lighting, camera positioning etc). Some people have suggested the blur feature which I personally don't like because it's very obvious and distracting, and I said as much upthread. But even the blur filter wouldn't make someone "unreal".

I get it. You're probably the type who thinks you can't be a feminist and wear makeup. You're wrong.

The only criteria for being a feminist is to believe women are equal to men and deserve equal rights. Not just 'good' women or women who align with my political opinions. I can judge women for being shallow, and see the misogynistic culture that underlies it, without thinking it makes them less of a feminist. Do you think feminists have to be perfect to be so? I don't.

I’m in my fifties and have felt this too. I try to wear a colour contrast on top (black poloneck with mustard jacket or a bright pretty scarf). I also noticed that one of my assistants deliberately pulls her hair forward at the sides and puts her headphones on top of her hair over her ears. I now do this and having your hair visible at the side of your face, instead of tucked behind the ear bins makes a difference. Also lipstick. None of the pale nude shades - something which defines your mouth a bit more. When you smile it really makes you look happier if your lips are a bit darker! I know it all feels a bit shallow - I have a senior professional role and don’t need to prove my worth: some mumsnetters may say we don’t need to do all this but honestly if it makes me/you feel better, then why not… I’m all for looking fab while holding my own in the boardroom…

I found the soft focus setting today - it's magic! I never normally use filters on photos etc, but I will be using this from now on.