Help short and fat me find a business/business casual outfit

[Pierpointer]

I’m going back to the office for the first time since 2019 and I’ve had four babies since then. I’m just going in for one day, but it’s a very important one and I need to feel confident and make an excellent impression.

I used to wear pencil skirts and blouses, shift dresses, and even suits but the office dress code, and my body, have totally changed since then so I have no idea what to wear. It’s a male-dominated office and they no longer wear ties, mostly shirts and trousers, the odd “finance-bro gilet” 😂

I would like a classic or reasonably up to date look, but nothing overly stylish, no bright colours, nothing that would make me stand out too much. Probably trousers but I’m not averse to a dress or skirt.

I’m about a size 18. Very pear shaped but the twins certainly put paid to what used to be a relatively flat stomach so now I’m quite self conscious in that area too. Boobs are decent in size but totally deflated. I’m 163cm tall so between 5ft 4 and 5ft 5.

Please help! I would be especially grateful for very flattering looks as I’m really self conscious about size and shape now.

ETA: budget around £100. I already have plenty of suitable shoes (flats and low heels), handbags, jackets and coats. I usually shop at places like M&S.

Big fan of a belted shirt dress me. Flattering, comfortable, add boots, job done.

Marks and Spencer’s tapered ankle length trousers are flattering. I have a burgundy pair and a black. Shirts in block colours, and nice textured knitwear.

(I find dresses a bit tricky to match with the right footwear. Heels are too high/uncomfortable for commuting in, and flats make me look a bit dumpy.)

I would go with a nice midi dress and knee high boots if it were me. Smart but comfortable. Something like this? Wyse is office appropriate and has lots in the sale www.wyselondon.com/products/alina-ponte-dress-midnight-block-geo?_gl=1s0g3oa_upMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIws3jqpiNkgMVvWZBAh33dQ0jEAAYASAAEgITi_D_BwE&gbraid=0AAAAACqaK2KN6qzZGBvcCsn8c9O_4lWPH

Knee high boots may not be flattering if you're short - ankle boots may be better. I second the shirt dresses, midi length, and perhaps try A-line skirts. Think free-flowing but not too wide. Nothing pleated or tight as it will cling to you or make you balloon. Try to keep the bottom pieces in a darker colour (as slimming): black, brown, navy, dark patterned etc. Combine with dark/same colour tights. Tops can be blouses (not too wide) or comfortable long sleeve shirts. What may tie the outfit together can be a nice wool poncho in an adjacent colour.

What about this?

https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/dresses/black-crinkled-shirt-dress/p/940186701

What about …

I guess it depends if you truly, in your heart, believe that a size 18 woman can be stylishly dressed for the office for £25 straight out of the shop. If you do, it’s a perfectly acceptable style of dress. But if you want greater assurance that you won’t be disappointed, and that you’re getting something that will be a useful addition to your wardrobe for at least a year - I would look for something of better quality.

Uniqlo is generally worth looking at for contemporary, cost effective workwear - particularly the collab collections.

What I believe, truly, in my heart, is that I could spend £1000 on a new outfit and I still wouldn’t feel “stylish” because, if it wasn’t obvious, I don’t feel comfortable or confident in my body and I have no idea what I’m doing.

Did you know that the vast majority of people buy their clothes “straight out of the shop”?

Was my size relevant to the point you’re trying to make? Would it look okay on a size 8, but not on me because it’s cheap and I’m fat?

Your reply is exactly why I usually avoid this board. There are much nicer ways to say what you’re trying to say. You should try it.

Okay - I’m guessing you’re not a dressmaker, so don’t spend much time thinking about decent fabric, and how much it costs. Of course it requires more fabric to make a size 18 dress than a size 8 - is that honestly a surprise to you? There’s no moral judgement there - the point is that it’s unlikely a dress costing as little as that will actually perform in the way you would want.

You have completely misunderstood my meaning: I said ‘straight out of the shop’ as distinct from pre-owned, which is how lots of posters buy clothes. £25 from a pre-owned site might well get something decent.

You stated a budget of around £100, so £25 is not the most you could possibly spend; it’s likely that if you buy something of better quality you will feel better dressed and more confident.

Your intemperate and ill thought out response is exactly why I rarely enjoy S&B threads these days … But I can see that you feel extremely testy around the subject of getting dressed, so can only wish you good luck in your search. Do look at Uniqlo - so many posters have found it almost revelatory.

@Sesquipedahlia I’m not going to derail my own thread by responding to your patronising post so I’ll leave it there.

Does anyone have any more suggestions for me please? I’m feeling totally lost now and pretty down about it all.

M&S do barrel legged work trousers (I think they are the woven ones) which are actually a bit more like wide legged - not as barrell-y (fashion term RIGHT THERE).

they were recommended on by an insta account that I follow and are they first pair of trousers I have ever been able to get from the rail, try on and buy in 5 mins and I am a pear with a tummy so similar shape.

they were about 35 quid I think so enough to get a shirt as well. I tend to do trousers, tucked in top, soft blazer or trousers, tucked in shirt no blazer. Always belt, always necklace and earrings (and a bracelet if I’m feeling jazzy). Either pointy ankle boots or loafers or trainers.

I have got some good quality tops from kettlewell - ignore the Bridget jones mum vibes, their silky tops are fairly good and drapey and a bit more substantial. My friends seem to really rate Uniqlo for shirts but I don’t have one close to me to try on and I’m very short waisted so I do need to.

Not going to lie, it’s not a cutting edge look but it’s smart enough, comfortable and I don’t feel
out of place in a corporate setting. The accessories do pull it together but they are from Next and Oliver Bonas (I got a nice leather belt from Next for £12 last week).

Love the look of these trousers - I’d get the black pair. I’m thinking of wearing a tucked in shirt with them, and a belt, with loafers? Then I’ve got my Mulberry Bayswater and a simple wool trench coat.

What colour belt and loafers? My handbag is oak https://www.mulberry.com/gb/shop/women/classics/bayswater-oak-small-classic-grain and my coat is black.

What colour shirt? I’d usually play it safe with a white or cream blouse, but that was when I was a size 12-14. Should I go for something else?

Im same height as you so know can be tricky getting just the ‘right’ length trouser. M&S do diff leg lengths and new look are good. You want some nice wide leg but in a tailored style, trousers. With a nice shirt to tuck in, and with wide legs you need a pointy shoe; either small heeled ankle boot, or flat ish sling backs, but as a fellow pear, a bit of heel height is more flattering. Make sure the shirt is in a nice material that doesn’t get creased. Again new look, H&M etc have reasonably priced ones. And a nice leather belt matching the shoes/boots will pull it together

Look nice, I like a midi shirt dress with knee length boots underneath

I wear dresses, with ballet style pumps most of the time. If a Friday night wear very dark jeans and a blouse with boots. Looking around office I can see a nice black trouser and short sleeve grey jumper combo, another lady in a shift dress with trainers.

I like the idea of trousers and blouse but I’ve lost my waist after DC so I just look boxy. The only thing I’ve noticed about the office is that everyone has nice nails,

Firstly - my sympathies. It is hard enough going back to work without tryimg to dress a body that feels unfamiliar. But for now dress the body you have in a way that feels good.

How many days do you have to be in the office? Do your jackets still fit? What colours are they?

Bra. Have you got something that gives you a good foundation? I love a moulded bra for consistency!

I find shirts tricky with a bosom, and seperates less flattering with an apple tummy.
I would go for dresses and looking for good brands nearly new on vinted/depop is sensible but hit and miss. Try on their stuff in John Lewis or similar to gauge sizing. Otherwise if buying new stick to natural fabrics. Cool comfort slip (m&s) makes a big difference to the way they hang.

Brown is in but navy grey or black are more classic. I find navy more forgiving than black.

Neat simple earrings, make up and hairstyle, and groomed nails will also make you feel more polished. I started wearing perfume again when i went back to work (home and office days) to get into character.

Great news is that you dont need to look dazzling for this type of company! Just presentable.

Wow op the poster did nothing wrong and you attacked her. She is making a valid point, you can spend up to a hundred and have picked a cheap shapeless dress. Which not many people will look good in.

you need to decide, is your objective to hide or is your objective to look good, because that dress is not good, it just looks like what it is, cheapo and dressed to hide, you may as well have a sign saying I’m fat and want to hide on you.

there is no reason you can’t look great.

Midi length dress, heavy weight jersey is a great idea and it’s very forgiving, perhaps a navy. Maybe add a belt though personally I’m prefer no belts. Not setting the fashion world on fire but I find such dresses are fairly smart looking but also very comfortable for those of us in the upper end of sizing, far more than traditional business dresses that are fitted stiffer fabric. My favourite navy jersey dress was from white stuff (a while ago) but you can opt for a subdued pattern as well, most of mine are Seasalt.

me too! comfy as well :)
or you can't really go too wrong with black trousers and a smart/casual top.
personally I can't get on with uniqlo, i don't know who people find stuff. The sizes and fit seems very haphazard and some of the basic pieces seem very overpriced.

I should add that I tend to wear with knee high boots (simply be they have wide calf boots) or doc martens and leggings because my office is freezing, it’s 15 degrees right now and I’ve actually come in in jeans and thermal long johns plus thermal vest and jumper as I know to if thermometer drops below 6 or 7!

Crew can be good for shirt dresses Women's Dresses For Every Occasion | Crew Clothing

It wasn’t what she said, it’s how she said it.

I haven’t spent any real money on clothes for myself in years. I am not confident in what to wear or where to get it.

As I said, I could spend the whole £100 or even £1000 and I will tell myself I still look fat and horrible.

I wanted some help and guidance and luckily have had loads of help from some lovely people.

Thank you.

I only need to go in once a month and I’ll be visiting different offices so no need for a whole new wardrobe, thankfully.

I tried my jackets on but nothing fits.

I’m sorted in the bra department, had a recent fitting and all good there.

I find dresses difficult as they are all either too long or too short!

Need to go in on Wednesday so no time to get anything secondhand.

If I get the black woven barrel leg trousers from M&S, and wear them with a low block heel court shoe in black (that’s all I’ve got), what could I wear on top? I’m starting to think a shirt won’t be right for me.

Can anyone link any ideas? Preferably M&S just so I can order everything together 😅

These are the trousers

https://www.marksandspencer.com/woven-barrel-leg-trousers-with-stretch/p/clp60748279?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share

I find Weird Fish or White Stuff dresses fit me well, usually on sale. A couple of these dresses and a really cute cardigan and you're smart enough and comfortable. Both have sales on at the moment

https://www.weirdfish.co.uk/p/sale/womens/i/starshine-organic-cotton-jersey-dress-cedar-green-203472?fromsalecategory=true

example, lots of dresses similar.