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Tomboy who wears Hoodrich, gold bling, Nike 110s and a cap.... Would it come across as "gangster" to most people?

10 replies

meltycat · 10/01/2026 01:23

I dress this way because when I was a teenager (am 22 now) I was in this clique, a group of lads but since I was a tomboy they accepted me as one of them and they were incredibly kind people always making sure I was safe who looked out for me always, so that style is sentimental to me a lot. We weren't anything like American gangsters we were kind of like the opposite, we'd go around in our little "gang" protecting people who were being bullied.

edit: forgot to put the reason why I'm asking. Recently an old lady in a shop said I look like a gangster, when that isn't the impression I'm intending to make at all

OP posts:
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Ghostmartin · 10/01/2026 01:49

Why have you posted this here as well as AIBU?

Just take the advice you've already been given on AIBU.

meltycat · 10/01/2026 01:49

Ghostmartin · 10/01/2026 01:49

Why have you posted this here as well as AIBU?

Just take the advice you've already been given on AIBU.

Someone suggested to post it here.

OP posts:
Perfidia · 10/01/2026 01:50

Okay - so what is the impression you wish to convey as a young adult, presumably now going out into the world as purely yourself, rather than part of a clique?

Are you studying, or working? Do you generally need to look smart / efficient / casual / glamorous / outdoorsy? How much do you personally care about clothes right now - would you want to make your wardrobe a spending priority, or prefer a more utilitarian approach?

Personally, with no real life familiarity with ‘gangsters’, I imagine successful adult female members of gangs dress more discreetly, so as to move through society without drawing attention to themselves. So - like the elderly lady who buttonholed you - I would probably see an element of cosplay in a grown woman dressing in the way you describe your wardrobe.

There’s no harm in mindful evolution. You might even enjoy it.

Perfidia · 10/01/2026 01:56

This board is about clothes, @Ghostmartin - AIBU is not.

meltycat · 10/01/2026 01:58

Perfidia · 10/01/2026 01:50

Okay - so what is the impression you wish to convey as a young adult, presumably now going out into the world as purely yourself, rather than part of a clique?

Are you studying, or working? Do you generally need to look smart / efficient / casual / glamorous / outdoorsy? How much do you personally care about clothes right now - would you want to make your wardrobe a spending priority, or prefer a more utilitarian approach?

Personally, with no real life familiarity with ‘gangsters’, I imagine successful adult female members of gangs dress more discreetly, so as to move through society without drawing attention to themselves. So - like the elderly lady who buttonholed you - I would probably see an element of cosplay in a grown woman dressing in the way you describe your wardrobe.

There’s no harm in mindful evolution. You might even enjoy it.

Edited

The impression is just being me. I found so much comfort and happiness being in that clique that I can't see myself wearing, for example, a dress or jeans. It's become a big part of my identity.

Not studying or working. Became ill with an illness that left me bedbound for years, now that I'm better it's still left me with CFS and brain problems.

OP posts:
Ghostmartin · 10/01/2026 02:01

Perfidia · 10/01/2026 01:56

This board is about clothes, @Ghostmartin - AIBU is not.

No shit 🙄

If you read the AIBU thread, there is a whole backstory there that has little to do with clothes. The poster has been given some good and sympathetic advice there. Is all.

Gremlinsateit · 10/01/2026 02:02

I expect your style is gangsta rather than looking like a gangster as such. Sounds like you’ve had a tough time, so if these clothes make you feel like yourself, why not wear them; disregard the one negative comment. You can always evolve your style as your circumstances change.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 10/01/2026 02:33

Are you a masc woman? (Please forgive my out of touch ness)

yes, I think you should elevate your masc style

see cat burns - hoodrich is kind of for teens. But you could do what I call ‘Hackney lesbian’, which is smart trousers and a casual top (btw, even though I am straight, I am secretly attracted to the Hackney lesbians 😂 and love them and their mean vegan ways)

or kind of billie eilish?

I watched this programme called Such Brave Girls and the sister who’s more androgynous in style, I’ve attached

the key thing is, ditching joggers! They’re just too casual. Jeans are better step up ❤️

hope it helps

nb, I am not being mean, I love everyone regardless of gender or sexuality xx

Tomboy who wears Hoodrich, gold bling, Nike 110s and a cap.... Would it come across as "gangster" to most people?
Tomboy who wears Hoodrich, gold bling, Nike 110s and a cap.... Would it come across as "gangster" to most people?
Tomboy who wears Hoodrich, gold bling, Nike 110s and a cap.... Would it come across as "gangster" to most people?
Tomboy who wears Hoodrich, gold bling, Nike 110s and a cap.... Would it come across as "gangster" to most people?
mumofoneAloneandwell · 10/01/2026 02:38

Hope these help

see the wool jumper - stylish with jeans

the hoodie and bomber jacket and joggers - for your trips to Asda xx

Tomboy who wears Hoodrich, gold bling, Nike 110s and a cap.... Would it come across as "gangster" to most people?
Tomboy who wears Hoodrich, gold bling, Nike 110s and a cap.... Would it come across as "gangster" to most people?
Tomboy who wears Hoodrich, gold bling, Nike 110s and a cap.... Would it come across as "gangster" to most people?
Tomboy who wears Hoodrich, gold bling, Nike 110s and a cap.... Would it come across as "gangster" to most people?
Tomboy who wears Hoodrich, gold bling, Nike 110s and a cap.... Would it come across as "gangster" to most people?
rainonfriday · 10/01/2026 02:46

I'd see what the effect on people was over a while. You're going to be wanting to make new friends I assume. So if you keep attracting people who are like gangsters in their behaviour and who you don't vibe with, while all the quiet and sensible kinds of people you'd prefer to hang out with more are avoiding you because of how you look, then I'd consider changing my style a bit at least for the occasions where you're going to be in a situation where friends are more likely to be made.

The old lady in the charity shop was probably just being judgemental though. I mean I can understand her thinking that but who comes out and says it? I believe things happen for a reason so maybe the universe put her in your path so that you'd consider how you come across to others at this time when you're needing to make new friends.

I'm not familiar with the clothes you describe so I don't know if you look gangster but I don't really care what people look like I'll decide if I like them after I've spoken to them and seen how they behave towards people. Some people do judge on appearances though and can be harsh with their judgements. How you dress can definitely affect how you're treated. I think that's why so many people dress all the same, nobody wants to stand out for fear of being unfairly judged in some way.

If you're unsure if your clothes are causing you negative experiences, you could run some experiments wearing other styles to see what effect it has. I mean maybe you don't want to take style advice off that charity shop lady, but it would at least have been interesting to see what she recommended, if you'd asked her what she'd wear if she was you.

I do a similar thing with music. Asking friends and also people I don't know all that well what they'd suggest I buy, then I go look it up and mostly I like it. Means I get to hear things I'd never otherwise hear.

Other people's opinions can be interesting even if you decide not to go with their ideas. I know you're asking us on here but we can't see you, so we're talking in a general sense. People who you're asking IRL might have more specific recommendations on what might suit you.

On your other thread you said about phones. You know the location and "find me" can be turned off so people can't track you? The emergency services are the only ones who track what phone masts your phone connected to and that's only if they have a reason to go looking for you. If you're not a criminal and haven't met with an accident or gotten lost for an extended period of time, nobody is going to be searching you by your phone. Lots of people are turning away from social media platforms so making friends and maintaining friendships might be more difficult if you don't have a phone.

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