How to dress casual but stylish

[sharkstale]

Approaching my 37th birthday and had a fairly recent break up. 2 young children. Have left the relationship at least one clothing size bigger, with less confidence in my appearance, and feeling much older than when the relationship started. I'm aware that I am older now though, and after losing a sense of who I was during the relationship, I'm not really sure how to dress anymore in a way that both makes me feel good and suits my age now as I approach 40. I recently bought a beautiful coat in the M&S sale but I'm not sure how to style it out so that I can wear it casually with a baby in tow.

I can't find the exact coat now so they must have sold out, but it's very similar to this one:
www.marksandspencer.com/wool-blend-single-breasted-longline-coat/p/clp23020157?color=NEUTRAL#intid=carousel_FUNH_AT_PHOENIX-MOST-SIMILAR-V2_END_PDP_16_5:49a77ec3-e75c-4429-b073-1c309e675c56

Just wanted to follow along as I'm in a similar boat op although a year ahead of you post divorce. I have invested in a few pairs of nice/ fun/ stylish trainers and a couple of decent pairs of jeans, tshirts that fit me properly rather than oversized and hanging on me and some cozy cardigans and two nice coats. One for when I want to feel more dressy and that will do me for work, and the other for when I'm on the go with ds as we're quite active and outdoors a lot. I also got a few cheap but fun accessories and try to make a point of actually wearing these and I changed up my hair colour and started focusing more on my skincare which has made me feel like a new person. For work I got a few nice dresses and tops/ wide leg trousers so I can either wear boots or trainers and I wear these almost like a uniform each week and just rotate so it takes away the decision fatigue of trying to work out what to wear on top of everything else that needs doing. Also when ds stopped nursing I went and got a bra fitting done and got 3 decent Bras in black, nude and one patterned and that in itself changed my shape massively. I had also gained weight but I've been focusing a lot on getting out walking more with ds so I've lost weight and feel better even though I'm not proactively working out.

That is a gorgeous coat! Good choice. I think it would go with just about anything.
Casual look I would go for is dark blue or black jeans - whichever style most suits your shape -with ankle boots, or a jersey/woollen dress just above the knee dress & knee high boots.

Anyone else think that coat, lovely as it is, isn't truly double-breasted? Not sure why a coat with no visible buttons would be described as such.

It's to do with the overlapping at the front. I'd expect two rows of buttons too.

I have that coat. It’s invaluable 🙂. I dress it up or down. I get compliments all the time on it.

Dear Sharkstale, I like that coat. But as an aside I don't think you need to pay much attention to your age and "approaching 40" (you are a few years off yet), I am going to be 60 this year but never felt the urge to deliberately change my "style" if you can call it that, as I became older. Or where would we be? Still wearing elasticated waist synthetic trousers like my mum used to do. What you wear evolves naturally and your tastes will change but it is a slippery slope to think your age constrains the way you dress. The one useful tip I heard, however, was as a rule of thumb it is a good idea to dress 10% smarter for every decade older.

You can style this coat however you like and others have made great suggestions. However I am a fan of colours and prints so I would be wearing it with tops/jumpers of different colours such as lavender, mustard, purple, shades of red or pink (depending on the pink) and either a jeans or skirt depending on the occasion.

I have something very similar in camel and this is how I wear it. I also have a couple of printed winter scarves in contrasting colours that go with the coat and can swap them out based on what I am wearing underneath or my mood. If you are someone who keeps winter coats for years like I do (I probably sound ancient but am the same age as you) a couple of accessories is all you need to go with the coat, my advice is see what you have already and experiment with putting it with your current scarves, hats etc first before buying anything else. After a few wears you will get more comfortable with the coat and you’ll have a better idea of what you like to wear with it, hence not buying accessories to match it straight away.

I really like this Instagram account for easy post-kids style -

www.instagram.com/alice_spearing/

The OP didn’t ask for opinions on any of that.

I have a camel coat and often wear it with flared jeans and a black polo. Also goes well with jumper dresses and shirt/jumper combo. Im quite preppy in my dress but I am also a mum and have used it through out my daughter's life!

Beautiful coat! You could easily dress it up or down. Even tailored jeans and boots with a nice top/jumper would look great with it.

You wear whatever you like 🩷 But if you'd like some pointers type in French girl chic / French girl style on Pinterest. The focus is having simple, timeless pieces, clean lines, easy to wear together like a capsule wardrobe. Creams, navy, brown, black and white. Well fitting T-shirts tucked into a good pair of jeans, relaxed tailored trousers, simple jumpers for layering, and three pairs of shoes - a great pair of trainers, loafers, and boots. X

Maybe this could help how about:-
Well cut wide trousers/barrel jeans with round neck sweater and Chelsea boots /flattish points
Knitted dress with black suede pointy boots
Jeans and cream jumper chanelly type pumps
Leggings check shirt brown riding type boots
But it's very much upto you, and enjoy whatever you wear!

The material doesn’t suddenly become cold because it’s cut in a different shape.

I am probably the worst person for fashion advice. But I am also 37, I have a 1yr old and a 3yr old. And feel uncomfortable with my size (tummy mainly) right now.

On debenhams I bought 4 Dorothy Perkins dresses in the sale all under €10 they can be worn with thick tights and boots or runners. Then a jacket over. It will look more put together but very easy to put on. Their sale ends soon though.

This- you wear it everywhere!
I’d like the people suggesting a jumper drsss to post some style inspo pics as I don’t find a jumper dress naturally stylish at all, more mumsy and dated (I’d say year 20__ but I never have any idea what year /decade I’m actually referring to) I still wear one, an oversized cos blanket dress to my ankles, which I love but don’t think it’s the style people mean when they are suggesting it. All the others have gone as I’m not in a hallmark Christmas movie.

My elderly mum feels the cold a lot but she finds her 100% polyester coat from Tesco as warm as her 100% wool coat from M&S.

That’s beautiful. I’d wear it with black trousers and a black polo neck jumper, and black leather shoes and bag. With your hair pulled back, a bit of gold jewelry, and a slash of red lipstick it would look fantastic.

Rude. She's already bought it!

That's a beautiful and very stylish coat - well done for making such a great start for your reinvention into a new, autonomous life. (I had exactly your situation when I was 40, and while daunting, there's a little bit that says it's exciting too - please hold onto that!).

I have a similar Gant coat to yours. Anything goes with it and I love it because it's so versatile. I concur with others, sweater dresses and boots, wide or barrel leg jeans, good wool/cashmere/alpaca knitwear. I would also invest in a suede bag - I got a mushroom coloured Italian one on Vinted - they have a good selection very reasonably priced. Also either leather or suede gloves. I think if you aim for the idea of elevated casual then you can't go far wrong.

Hope you'll keep us all posted as to your fashion progress. New year, new you. I sincerely wish you all the best.

Flowy loose trousers casual fitted tops underneath can wear nice boots or even smart trainers with these coats .