Help me look pretty again please

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I’m 43, with a toddler and just come out of a miserable relationship long term relationship where I stopped looking after myself.

I need to lose a stone, and need advice on finding myself again. I don’t know where to start with retinols or tretanol.

Im also considering weight loss jabs too.

Even simple things to look like I have made an effort.

thank you

Get the weight loss jabs if you feel you need them.
Always wear makeup, even just lipstick or mascara if you don’t have time for more.
Nail Polish from the pound shop is good. Get into the habit of having painted nails. It makes a big difference.
Do you have money to put into this? If so, an Omnilux led mask can be a good option, but they cost a few hundred pounds.
Getting into a routine with beauty and clothes is what counts. A capsule wardrobe of a few nice things can even be purchased from Primark and can look good. Just a day to day uniform of things that suit you.

I started with my eyebrows last spring. I got the powder brows from a local woman who believes in a natural but defined look. Then I started weight loss injections and upping my water intake. Hair will be next, and will update my wardrobe as I can afford to.

Great time of year to focus on self-care!

I just had my first keratin Brazilian blowout treatment – and I am amazed at what it has done to my slightly dry, frizzy hair.

Apparently it lasts for up to 4 months as well! I think I’m a convert.

When it comes to tretinoin, I use Skin + Me - here’s my link if you want to try - you get a personalised formulation and it’s prescription-strength retinol. I get masses of compliments on my skin, and I’m 47. It’s entirely down to the tretinoin and azalaic acid in that, I reckon.

When it comes to moisturiser, I think find one that you like the smell and texture of rather than worrying about what it’s doing beyond adding moisture and leave the hard work to the actives like the retinol (tretinoin). A vitamin C serum in the morning is always a good bet for a bit of extra glow, too. Then, don’t forget a 50+ SPF, every day, even in winter.

Boring but true – getting enough water and fruit and veg in your life definitely helps.

Also, nail wraps are a new revelation for me. Make me feel pretty without spending a fortune on salon gels. Good luck!

Same here I’ve stopped looking after myself and would like to pretty up again, nothing dramatic happens overnight but could start making an effort with my hair and makeup more and buying a few new outfits to make me feel better, I need to lose 3-4 stone before I’d ever feel confident to date again.

@smallsilvercloudWell this can be a start 😊 time to find ourselves again

Thank you for all who have replied. I really appreciate your help. I tried looking on social media but all videos were just adverts, and not true opinions unfortunately

For skin you could try tretinoin 0.025% from Monderma or Obagi. It's 5-10 times more effective than retinol skincare products for wrinkles and dark spots. And on the weight side Ozempic made a huge difference for me and the results have stuck even after stopping it for over a year.

Focus on health rather than superficial things. Fixing your eyebrows isn't going to move the needle if you're overweight.

Gentle disagree with pp above, whatever your weight journey looks like, eyebrows are the frame of the face, and looking down at pretty nails can be like a little "ok I can do this, I am doing this" to your brain..even if it's just a brow tint for now,

Similar age as you op, similar aged DC, gruelling divorce - trying to do little wins. Lost myself in marriage and motherhood, so I hear you. 💪

If you only need to lose a stone don't pay for wli. Don't even diet as such. Focus on nutrition, lots of fresh veg, lean protein, less carbs and fat. Aim for a little exercise each day, even just a walk around the block at lunchtime, take stairs not the lift. Build subtle lifestyle changes that work towards your goal.
Appearance wise, get a really good haircut, have a change of hair style maybe. Get a simple skincare routine going face wash/moisturiser keep to a simple and sustainable routine. Try a bright tinted lip balm to brighten up your face. Slowly build on little sustainable changes and you'll see a shift in how you feel and look.

If you only need to lose a stone, you probably don’t qualify for WLIs.

Agree with PP - go to Primark or look at Next ‘The Set’ and buy some new everyday basics in toning colours. As simple as dumping the leggings and old tops and replacing with modern slightly elevated versions - cuffed joggers, wide leg trousers.

Dress for the body you have now; not the slimmer one in the future. You can Vinted the clothes you buy now when you lose the stone.

Buy a tinted moisturiser or Loreal Nude Serum plumping ‘foundation’ (it’s foolproof and lighter coverage than foundation). Mascara and lip tint / gloss / balm, whatever you find easiest. A bit of light makeup will make you look ‘done’ and can take 10 mins.

A basic moisturiser and use it consistently. No7 is often on offer; I like Loreal Regenerist as they do a fragrance free version and only buy it when it’s half price about £15 or less.

Good luck and let us know your plans!

A good haircut that doesn't need to much upkeep and if you don't have dark hair/hashes get your eyelashes dyed. It makes such a difference. Blue black is the darkest and looks like you are wearing mascara. Makes such a difference. Get it done at a salon as home kits are rubbish nowadays. Is only about £15.

Get into the habit of drinking loads of water.

Well done on getting out of your bad relationship.

I suggest a good collagen powder and omega 3 supplement.

Also maybe yoga for posture - I know when I was miserable from an unhappy marriage I probably slumped a bit. Carrying yourself with pride will make you feel more attractive

I agree 100% that really good eyebrow shaping makes a vast difference, whether or not you are the weight you want to be.

Another fast fix is posture. Think Pilates, set your core whenever you are mobile, but also the old Victorian thing of walking round a room with a book on your head! (Toddlers love this). Get used to how it feels to be standing up with shoulders dropped, long neck, upright back. Tick your chin in a little, avoid chin poking. Walk like a queen.

I’d say think more about a makeup lesson/update session if you can afford it. It was in my 40s that I looked around and saw that a lot of us were still wearing the same makeup we’d worn at 21, usually put on without looking properly in the mirror. We all looked pretty bad. I stopped wearing it much at that point but am planning to see a MUA in a few months, maybe as a birthday present.

I'm basically going to do all of this 💕🥰 thank you pp

So far I have sorted my eyebrows out, I’m a victim of the 90s so not much I can do there but I have tidied them up.

I have ordered some new skincare, and I’m looking at some nice clothes but I’m worried about looking like a frump.

Thank you all for your replies

I recommend finding some sort of exercise that you are willing to do regularly - it can make a hige difference to your wellbeing.

It doesn’t have to be anything extreme but some sort of regular weight bearing exercise is so beneficial, especially in our 40’s.

Do you have a good friend who you think looks stylish who you could go shopping with? I do not mean that you should copy their style, but if you have lost confidence then it can be good to have a second opinion.
Also be careful about doing too many new products on your skin at the same time- if you breakout you will not know what caused it.

How can you get WLI if you only have a stone to lose? Genuine question as I am in the same boat as OP and would love to get WLI (appreciate I would have to pay for it) but don’t qualify. Yet I am constantly reading in the press etc about how « everyone » is on it and losing masses of weight.