How has aging, perimenopause, or menopause affected your style and hygiene ?

[MomWithChinHairs]

Today I had my hair cut and dyed. My hair was long and the natural hair was dark brown. It's now a pixie cut and it's dyed blonde. There were a few factors for the change, one of them is perimenopause and aging. I was getting some grey hairs. My hair was frequently sweaty.

Unless it's a special occasion, I have abandoned dresses, jeans, and skirts. I wear leggings for my fluctuating weight. I were tank tops because of hot flashes, night sweats, and other sweating events.

I feel like I can't do my makeup anymore. So many wrinkles and age spots. My pores are so big and my face is easily sweaty.

Not only that my body, face, and skin is different but my style is changing. Then there is the hygiene aspect for the sweating and body odor. I shower more and use stronger deodorant but I'm scared I'll get smelly around people if I'm not vigilant. This is an interesting time in my life.

I think I look better in my 50s than I did in my 40s. I felt so overweight and frumpy most of that decade, I really lost my mojo after having children and it killed my love of clothes shopping.

So in my late 40s/covid times I made a conscious effort to lose the weight that was preventing me buying clothes I liked, upped my skincare game, and started exercising for health. Yep, I look older than I did a decade ago, but I feel way more confident in myself. I’ve changed my make up to suit my skin and I only buy something to wear if I love it (as opposed to because it fits/hides something) I’d still like to lose another stone but I’m pleased with where I’m at now.

I definitely have the ‘no fucks to give’ attitude, and I refuse to wear heels except on very rare occasions.

I am fortunate in that I don’t suffer from the sweats (so far), but I have been on hrt for ages. I chopped my hair short a few years ago,which has worked well. Get in dyed regularly though, I’m not ready to embrace the grey and it will look terrible with my skin tone.

How often are you using the vaginal oestrogen? If you're still suffering locally, then you probably need to up it.

@WhiskyandWater i do Reformer and Barre as well, and took up CrossFit about six months ago. I have osteopenia so need to lift weights, anyway they complement each other so well as forms of exercise, it’s amazing. I’m not saying it’s a magic bullet weight wise, but I’m starting to see some changes round my middle that I wasn’t getting from just the Pilates stuff, which has reassured me that my waist isn’t just going to go away! I really feel great. I’m the weakest at my CrossFit classes but I’m steadily improving. Worth a try if you have a good place near you.

@SisterTeatime thank you!

Wish I could but Gyn won't give me anything stronger due to the cancer history. 😣

what kind of cancer?

@CWigtownshire Using vaginal estrogen more often than 2 x a week is not 'stronger'.

Have you had breast cancer? Or is this a family history risk? (If so you might want to get a 2nd opinion or ask for the test for the BRACa gene.)

Your question at the end. The most honest answer is I want to look young again. 😂

But a more realistic answer is I want to become comfortable with my looks and aging.

I'm not from the United Kingdom. I'm from and currently living in the United States. More specifically, California.

Thank you.

The replies to the thread has helped me a lot too.

In my 60s. Hair, body, weight etc pretty much as it’s always been. I have noticed that the skin is a lot thinner on my forehead though. You can almost see my skull! So have taken to having a fringe to cover it. And eyes are more hooded. So I have had to rethink my make up. Less smart than I used to be. Would never at one time have gone out in leggings. I care less now.

HRT, tretinoin, and botox have gave me what feels like a five-year uplift. My HRT from Pharmacy Planet is £38 a month, tret from Monderma for £18-24, and I also get Botox twice a year for about £200.

I’m post menopause but probably the exception to the rule. Nothing changed apart from my periods stopped 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’ve stopped bleaching my hair and embraced my silver locks. I’m really enjoying it. I broke up with my husband … because life is too short not to be happy. Fashion wise I’ve always preferred classic key pieces and elevating accessories such as handbags, scarves, sunglasses … that’s the same. Oh I use night cream more regularly now 😂

I care far less what people think of my appearance. I dress for comfort, always. I’m kinder to myself. I’m on HRT and take good quality vitamins, fish oil and collagen daily. I exfoliate my body every day, use a shower oil and slather it in body lotion. Do Pilates. Just… be kind

I started the peri aged 42 and emerged the other side aged 60 - long time - No HRT but I had the Mirena until I was 60

Weight piled on during my 50s. I suffered pretty badly with brain fog and all the mental anguish of menopause, but physically I emerged pretty unscathed

However I tackled the weight gain at around 58 ( still having to work at it aged 61 but its gone ) My body shape is completely different to that of my 40's when I was last this weight - skinny arms and legs, bum and boobs gone but still have a belly. I know the skinniness is down to muscle loss , but I dont have the time - nor inclination to go to a gym and I get bored very easily exercising at home

But I average 15k steps a day between work, walking the dog, walking for exercise ( wee fat pug, he cant walk fast so I walk him twice and take my own walk at speed )

My hair - still need to get the hair dresser to thin it out every 6 weeks and I have to work on the chin and neck hairs every other day . Ive finally let it go grey as its gone silver/white and have had it cut into a pixie undercut

Funily enough I started wearing make up again these past two years . Not lots, a wee bit of foundation or concealer to even skin tone, wee bit of blush and highlighter , I spend more time on skin care, I find oils and serums work better then moisturisers

I shower/ hair wash every other day now. Hair and skin have dried considerably. Up to recently I could have washed my hair twice a day it was so greasy and lank. I rarely need to use an antiperspirant- maybe twice a week

Diet wise, I can no longer eat white bread or Chinese takeaway. Both leave me crippled with wind , ready meals have the same affect. Now I do better on a diet of proteins and grains /fibre. I haven't cut carbs completely but most carbs are from veg - not potatoes - I dont like them. I also have had to cut diary down. It also has an unsetting effect on me

Clothes wise - Im really not giving a f**k . I wear what I feel good in, what I like. Ive never stepped in to any go to shops mentioned on this forum - well Uniqlo 30 years ago when I lived in Wimbledon - great jeans. Bus Cos and Zara etc? Nope - not on my radar.

Finding clothes is the hardest thing at this age IMO. I feel 20. When I was 20 , 60 was old. So I have a 60 yo body but a 20 yo mindset , Im still finding the balance

Best thing for me, I appear to have lost my filter. I am respectful and courteous and understanding, but if I think someone is talking out of the back of their arses , I call it

No I haven’t! Thank you so much for highlighting this. I will definitely go and get checked

@MomWithChinHairs It's always a good idea to give location right at the start because different countries have a very different way of dealing with menopause and HRT.
In the US they tend to use different types to the UK and this makes a difference.

Generally I wear what I want.
If I like it and it looks good on me, it's on.

I use a Manuka honey day and night cream and an intense anti ageing wrinkle serum. I don't do the night shift often lately but I used to do it most nights of the week.

I prefer my face natural to made up.
I think I look better now than I ever have with the exception of my very early twenties. I get compliments on how I look 10 years younger and how glowing my skin looks.

My diet is shit because I have food issues and I don't drink enough water because I forget 🫣

Body odours.... Well lol who knew that your BO would be of an onion scent when you hit perimenopause??!?
I usually find it's when I'm due for my period although god knows when that'll come these days (thank god for Flo and onion smelling armpits).
And I notice that I smell downstairs now and then.

For the past 3 nights I have sweated so much and the stench in the morning is gross despite using hrt.

The biggest peri issue for me is the rage. I'm turned into a different person and I despair about the impact it may have on my young children because I scream/shout at them because I have no patience for their bullshit.
I've apologised to them this morning and tried explaining that I was going through a really tough time and I try to control myself but it all comes so quick and sometimes I can't stop it.
I reassured them that I love them so very much and I would never hurt them.

Hair... 🫣 Forgot you mentioned that.
AND BRAIN FOG!!!

My God the brain fog... In the first half of 2023 I was concerned that I had early onset dementia. It is a possibility eventually as it's in my family (mum's mum and most of her siblings have had it). It ultimately lost me my job although I'm glad I'm out as my manager was a prick.
I watched Davina McCall's documentary on menopause and a woman who was on it said that she thought that she had early onset dementia and I was like, OMG!!! I encouraged my partner to watch that bit and his mind was blown!
It's got a bit better but I don't know if that because of my ADHD meds that I started taking last year 🤷🏼‍♂️
I try to laugh these days about my forgetfulness because you'd go mad otherwise. I'm always misplacing things in my flat (4 pairs of glasses once at the same time). I lost my mobile phone twice last year in a supermarket. The first time it was found while I was still there, second time not so lucky 😭

HAIR!
I'm a bit, it's only hair, when it comes to my hair lol I shaved it all off in 2020 and enjoyed the pixie cut for years after and then I wanted to grow it so I did.
The silver strands of glitter had already started to appear on the side and top of my head. I decided to go purple/pink a couple of years ago for my cousin's wedding and went blonde very soon after that (naturally brunette although I've dyed my hair for decades reds and purples). I love being blonde although the chemicals have killed my hair so now I'm cutting out the dead hair to regrow in better condition so I can dye it again 🤣🤣🤣🫣 no bleaching though this time.
My hair is much thinner than it used to be and my mum is very thin on top. You can see her scalp.
I use a rosemary oil concoction occasionally but I should do it more often.

I don't think my style has particularly changed. I like my hair really long, so that stays the same. I stopped dying my hair over 10 years ago, to keep it healthier. Same as I don't use any heat or chemical products on it, just shampoo and conditioner. This leaves my hair swishy and shiny. I have grey hairs now, but unless you get right into my hair and search for them, you can't really tell, especially in the summer when you get natural highlights from the sun.

My clothes are much the same, flowery dresses and colourful tights when I want to look smarter, leggings, hiking trousers and hoodies for leisure days. I wear more belts and closer fitted clothes now. They are more flattering and slimming. I have always worn layers as for both work and leisure I am frequently moving around to different environments, or doing physical activities, so have always had to adjust for different temperatures. I prefer natural fibres like cotton and wool, which regulates your temperature, so sweating isn't an issue. For sports/gym/hikes I wear appropriate materials that are wicking, e.g. technical tips from lululemon/sweaty betty and own lots merino wool layers. Expensive, but worth it for the comfort.

I have changed my make up recently to a slightly different style that I found makes my eyes pop more. But I only tend to wear eye make up, never ever wear foundation, I prefer my skin to breathe. I have had a great skincare routine since I was 15, so I think that helps too with having nice clear skin. Lipstick would be smudged all over my face. But this has always been the case for me, I prefer the natural look with just a bit of make up on my eyes.

Oh I forgot one thing I had to change! I sometimes get some red flushing on my nose/top of cheeks, so I bought some green cream to cancel it out, as it made me look like an alcholic, even though I have never really drunk alcohol my whole life 🤦‍♀️🤣 Or like I have a permanent cold/hay fever 🤦‍♀️ So much worse on Teams calls as well, it seems to make the red bits redder. It was something I was really self conscious about, as it made me look unprofessional

The green cream works very well, except for when I really do have a cold, then it gets wiped off from the constant blowing of my nose 🤦‍♀️🤣

I never got on with anti-perspirant either, as a young woman. I've never had problems since I switched to natural deodorant.

As for the skin-care, the soap I use is a bit niche, but I love it. It's not actually sold as a face soap particularly, just natural soap, but I use it on the face, even to take off eye make-up! It's from The Chuckling Goat Company, and made from goats milk, and goats milk kefir, and has lavender essential oil in it too. And I'm currently using Weleda Skin Food, ultra light dry oil as my moisturiser.

Sorry, forgot the skin tint! It's L'oreal, True Match, plumping tinted serum.

Can you share your eye make-up tips, since you've changed it?

Thanks for your reply @Somethingsnapped 🙂 that's not a soap brand I've heard of, I'm off to check it out!

They're a gorgeous company. I know of them through my mum, who has a subscription for their goats milk kefir. But they have a small range of skincare products like balms and soaps too.