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Why won’t he leave my products alone?

8 replies

whatisgoingonandwhy · 03/12/2025 20:40

My DH is the same age as me, we are 57 years old. I take good care of myself, DH not so much. I eat healthy and maintain my weight, look after my skin hair and nails and take an active interest in fashion. However my DH will not leave my products alone and it’s really starting to grate on me. It started when he decided to dip into my tretanoin even though I warned him that his skin would not be able to tolerate it. It was a new tube that a friend had brought me back from her holiday so when I saw an almighty thumb print in the middle of the tube I knew that he had been at it. On that occasion his face fell off and he looked like he had third degree burns and had to cancel a presentation he was due to give the next day. The latest thing is perscrition toothpaste, we both have the same dentist so if he needed it too he would have been told this. I buy him decent skin care anyway so why the hell can’t he leave mine alone and can anyone suggest how I deal with this?

OP posts:
SliceofTosst · 03/12/2025 20:43

Put your stuff your bedroom drawer and leave out basic stuff for him.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 03/12/2025 20:44

Help him choose products that suit him. He’s taking an interest in self care. Point out your products are specifically tailored for your skin and don’t suit his.

StruggleFlourish · 03/12/2025 20:47

If you were taking medication that was prescribed to you by a doctor, would he want to try it as well?

Perhaps that's a bit of an over exaggeration, But, the specialty products were purchased for you. Your teeth, your skin, your hair, etc.
While typically these types of products can be interchangeable, you've already warned him, that they aren't.

Plus you probably see them as being yours, something that is not cheap / easily available something that you treat as a specialty personal product. You probably don't like him using your stuff because it's yours.

Probably he sees nothing wrong with trying it, dipping his finger into your lotion, trying your fancy shampoo, trying your special toothpaste, popping a couple of your supplements etc.

Was he brought up in a family that was kind of large and everybody just used everybody's stuff? I've known people who were raised with many siblings and most products were just general use for everybody in the household, not for anyone in particular.

Maybe he's just curious, if you say a particular product makes your teeth really white or makes your hair really soft or makes your skin feel really smooth, maybe he just wants to try it. Not all guys are simple in their personal self-care needs, or, if they are, maybe they'd like to be a little bit pampered. Maybe he wants some special products for himself but doesn't know how to ask?

endofthelinefinally · 03/12/2025 20:48

Buy a lockable box that fits under the bed or in a drawer. You shouldn't have to, but needs must. Any diy or hardware store will have one. Or buy a lockable vanity case or similar.

whatisgoingonandwhy · 03/12/2025 20:50

Have honestly tried both, it’s like he doesn’t believe me! I have aged well but that’s probably because I don’t drink or smoke which he does to excess. I have bought him products to suit him (tretanoin is not suitable as he will not use SPF) but he continues to just dip into mine. Sounds easy just putting it away but then I forget to use it and there is a part of me that thinks I shouldn’t have to.

OP posts:
whatisgoingonandwhy · 03/12/2025 20:53

@StruggleFlourishthat is a really interesting point about his family. I think his sister got lots of things and him not so much so perhaps he is trying to readdress the balance.

OP posts:
SparrowFeet · 03/12/2025 20:54

Why's he so interested in using your stuff?! I'd be just letting his face fall off until he learns.

bodyofproof · 03/12/2025 21:15

Have you not tried saying fuck off using my stuff? I would get angry
“here is some stuff for your skin for Christmas, do not touch mine or you’ll need to replace it”

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