Ruined my hair with dye and straighteners - advice please

[AuntieGrizelda]

I have been dyeing my hair for years, since I started going grey. My natural colour was chestnut brown so I dyed it a similar colour until a couple of years ago. I dye my hair at home. I can't afford/be bothered with going to the salon every couple of weeks to have my roots done

I decided to go lighter so that the grey demarcation line wouldn't be so obvious. I have been using Nice and Easy Shade 8. In my naivety, I didn't realise that this had bleach in it. The colour on the front of the box is medium blonde but it came out a light/mid brown on my hair. It was getting too light, and lightened considerably in the sun, so I moved over to Nice and Easy 8A - medium ash blonde. This comes out a bit darker than the Shade 8 and not as brassy. It is still mid brown though, not blonde. I don't suit being a blonde.

I have been using straighteners for the last couple of years and have ended up in a downward spiral. My hair is in a shoulder length layered bob and is medium thickness. If I leave my hair to dry naturally the last six inches of my hair is fluffy like candyfloss. It is so damaged with the bleach in the dye and the straighteners. It looks such a mess that I have to use straighteners to make it look decent, which damages my hair even more and so it goes round and round.

I have never been any good at doing my own hair. I have only recently (last six months) realised that I should be using heat protection spray with the straighteners. I put the straighteners on the lowest setting - 150 degrees - and try to go over each piece of hair just once. In the past I used to use a heated brush to style my hair and my hair was never as bad as it is now.

I use a deep conditioning hair mask etc. but this also makes my hair feel over conditioned and lanky after the first day

I have just had about two inches cut off the bottom of my hair and it is now more or less one length.

How can I get my hair back to decent condition? I can't leave it in its natural state since it looks like straw. I will have to style it in some way. I don't want to stop dyeing it as I am not ready to give in to they grey.

Any advice will be very gratefully received.

Sorry this is so long

Which hair products do you use on your hair now? How often do you wash it?

Heat free rollers?
Or blow dry with heat protector? Then use something like hair cream to smooth frizz?
I think you need to switch out the straighteners if you want to keep dying your hair.
Getting used to how your hair looks not straightened is the first hurdle.
I found blow drying my hair partly so the front lies how I want it and let the rest air dry - then use cream or salt spray works for me.
A good haircut helps with styling.

I had this exact issue from years of highlights (bleach), straightners and a rotating hot hair dryer.
I started using Olaplex number 8, once a week or so, and it made a huge difference. ;after washing my hair).

You might see it on special offer for Black Friday.

And I won’t ever use one of those big hair stylers again, I could literally feel it breaking my hair

PS I still straighten but use heat protection spray

Stop using straighteners and have a keratin treatment instead. It actually leaves your hair glossy and smooth. I use Cocochoco Professional Gold every four months or so.

I’ve been box dying my hair for 25 years and straightening and curling. Reached 39 and it was really frizzy and felt old.

Started using tigi bed head - resurrection and my hair is like it was twenty years ago.
Really strong, shiny and long, no breakages or frizz. You can get it on Amazon or from B&M in big red bottles.

I know you mentioned,you did not like going to the hairdresser's! But I would strongly consider going.Choose a highy rated salon.They will give your hair a decent cut, condition your hair & advise on future colour treatments.Obviously the good salons can be expensive,but your hair is worth spending money on.I colour my own hair to cover a few grey hairs.I usually go for a mocha brown,which is quite flattering.Blonde colours can be difficult to achieve a natural look.

The problem with using box dyes at home by yourself is that you will be re-applying the product to already processed hair unless you’re extremely careful about only colouring the untinted roots.

Box dyes contain hydrogen peroxide developer that’s either 20vol or 30 vol strength. If you were having bleach highlights in the salon, they’d use the same strength of developer.

The Average life cycle of a strand of hair is between 5-7 yrs before it naturally sheds so imagine how many times some of your longer hairs have been processed in this way. Now you can probably appreciate why it’s become so dry and damaged and that’s before you even think about using hair straighteners on it!

Finally, no matter what products you apply to your hair, once your outer cuticle layer is damaged, NOTHING can repair it. That’s why hairdressers recommend removing several inches on very damaged hair to remove the worst sections.

If you’re struggling to afford upkeep, look out for salon training sessions or a local hairdressing college where the charges are minimal and the students are supervised.

You could book for just a root touch up or a deep conditioning treatment or even balayage highlights to help with the demarcation line with your existing colour.

Otherwise, consider using box dyes that are semi permanent as they don’t contain peroxide. These are single item products that you don’t mix and are applied straight from the tube or sachet.

I burnt my fringe off a year ago with straighteners ( I don’t dye my hair have accepted I will go naturally grey) and unfortunately I just had to keep it trimmed and wait for it to grow back! I do use a deep conditioner once a week and heat spray. I use a cotton wrap after showering and sleep on a silk pillowcase

K18 hair mask is incredible. A hairdresser once fried my hair and I had tufts at the front that just stuck up. I literally saw a difference after one application- it’s amazing!

I would start watching The Blowout Professor on YouTube and follow all his advice. My hair was just like yours (I even had the candy floss ends!) and I started following his advice (wearing a silk bonnet to sleep, washing twice a week, 3 days in-between heat styling) as well as using the recommended products for my hair type.

Overall though I think the biggest difference is I stopped dying it. I'd use permanent box colours on mine and one hairdresser commented that I had a lot of colour build up and needed to at least switch to a semi-permanent and just colour the roots. The dye always faded too quickly anyway so I just cut the dye out all together and my hair is in the best condition it's ever been.

Thank you everyone for your responses.

I have been using bond strengthening shampoos (various brands) plus a Pantene Bond Strengthening hair mask. I always use heat protector.

I will try some of the products mentioned.

I usually wash my hair every four or five days - depending on what is going on in my life. I am also letting my hair dry naturally as much as I can

I have decided to stop using the straighteners and have been using a heated brush a minimally as possible. My hair still needs something to make it look decent.

I had a look at the Blow Out Professor on YouTube but I found his voice really irritating

I can't bring myself to stop dyeing my hair it as I don't think I could cope with having grey hair - even though I am in my sixties. Having balayage or highlights is too expensive and time consuming for me.

I do have a good cut and am happy with my hairdresser. I am hoping that, now I have stopped with the straighteners, the damage will now be able to grow out. I have been in a downward spiral of having wrecked hair and using straighteners to make it look decent and thus wrecking it even more.

Luckily I have reasonably thick hair which grows quite quickly. I am hoping that once the damage has grown out I can have a wash and go cut without the need for extra styling.

In the past I had a wash and leave style. I bought my straighteners as a colleague used them and kept going on about about brilliant they were. She had very thick coarse hair. She used the straighteners to 'tame' her hair. In hindsight, her hair was probably frazzled

If you do decide to go for a semi-permanent dye, I'd recommend L'Oreal Casting Creme Gloss. I used it for decades in various shades of brown and was always pleased with both the colour result and the great condition it left my hair in.

I've recently gone back to using it after deciding four years ago to grow out my 80%-90% grey/white hair. I'm very glad I tried the grey but gradually got fed up of it, so I totally understand your reluctance to go grey.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

@PluckyChancer please can you recommend a brand of semi-permanent colour that’s ready-mixed? I’ve only ever come across ones that you need to mix together