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Funeral outfit advice

8 replies

ReadingTime · 11/11/2025 14:01

I'm at the stage of my life where I need to own a complete funeral outfit that I don't need to think about. I bought this dress which is great. https://www.debenhams.com/product/james-lakeland-roll-sleeve-midi-dress-black_p-1ea6c522-7c16-4b6d-99dd-a25d7f9079d7?colour=Black

I have a smart long black Jigsaw coat I can wear over it, but the dress is a few inches longer than the coat. My questions are:

  1. Should I shorten the dress so it's shorter than the coat? If so how much shorter should it be? The dress is mid/low calf on me and the coat is a bit below my knee.

  2. Can anyone recommend a bag to go with it? I don't want to spend loads of money because I won't use it much, but I want it to look nice, have no logos and be big enough to fit the usual purse phone tissues plus a small water bottle & order of service. My only smart bags are too small and my bigger bags are too scruffy.

  3. Black next to my face makes me look like I'm nearly dead myself, I'm very pale and my hair is grey, it was originally very dark brown. I wondered about adding a micro silk scarf in a softer colour, but what colour would work, and where would I find one? Normally I suit rich jewel colours but I feel like anything too bright would be a bit much.

Thank you very much for any ideas!

Dresses | Roll Sleeve Midi Dress Black | James Lakeland

Discover Roll Sleeve Midi Dress Black available to buy online at debenhams.com. Available with quick delivery and easy return options. Shop now!

https://www.debenhams.com/product/james-lakeland-roll-sleeve-midi-dress-black_p-1ea6c522-7c16-4b6d-99dd-a25d7f9079d7?colour=Black

OP posts:
2dogsandabudgie · 11/11/2025 16:34

I went to a funeral a few years ago and bought a black handbag but noticed most people had all different colours. People were also in navy blue, grey not just black.

I think it's fine if the dress is slightly longer than the coat, no one will be looking at that and if it's a warm day you can just wear the dress on it's own.

mamagogo1 · 11/11/2025 16:36

I wouldn’t worry about shortening it. Scarves are a good idea, at quite a few colour is requested so eg adding green, pink whatever in scarf form is perfect if no colour suggested a deep purple is perfect

Aligirlbear · 11/11/2025 19:46

Don’t worry about shortening the dress no one is going to notice whether it’s shorter or longer than your coat. A coloured scarf is a good addition. If you are worried about colour or one hasn’t been requested get one which is cream / grey tones which will blend in with your coat or get a deep green / purple which is being respectful to a darker palette but will give you a hint of colour.

I think handbags are a very personal thing cross body / shoulder / hand held / how many pockets / zip fastening / buckle / snap. Look online at M&S / John Lewis they have a number of black handbags which are sensibly priced of different styles.

ZenNudist · 11/11/2025 19:48

Most funerals are fine to wear smart darker clothing. Unless you are part of the nobility it's not that formal or anything to think much about.

AnnaMagnani · 11/11/2025 19:53

I wouldn't worry about shortening it. When it is coat weather most people just wear their normal coat whatever colour it is.

TheFluffyTwo · 11/11/2025 19:59

Traditionally I understand that a skirt should be slightly longer than a coat (outside of floorlength gowns and opera coats!)

I was always told by severe matrons that a longer coat than skirt risked giving the impression of a streetwalker (presumably something to do with sudden flashing and finding not much beneath?!) so I think you're more than fine there!

I agree that a softer coloured silk scarf would work well. Depending on your colouring, maybe a soft grey or ashy pastel of some kind?

It's a lovely dress; shame about the occasion. Flowers

ReadingTime · 16/11/2025 15:57

Oh thank you all so much, that’s a relief that I don’t need to shorten the dress. And I see your point @TheFluffyTwo , from behind it could look like there’s nothing underneath!

Its actually not for a specific funeral, but prompted by going to the funeral of an old family friend recently with only a couple of days notice, and realising I had nothing suitable to wear. So I thought I’d get a head start on the next one and remove any outfit worries at least. Thank you all.

OP posts:
Daisydoesnt · 16/11/2025 16:49

It’s quite a strange thing to be getting a head start on, unless you have several very elderly, very ill friends and relatives? Hopefully you won’t need a funeral outfit for a few years. What if you next come to wear this ready-and-waiting outfit and it’s either really out of date, full of moth or won’t fit?

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